Ask Jayfeather
by OwlCookies XD
Summary: go ahead and ask him an question you would like!
1. Chapter 1

"Hello there!" OwlCookies exclaims from the stage. "I'm afraid I might not get enough review for this story, but I'll try anyway!" She grins conqestingly.

Neiyo randomly walks up in her suit and black tie, clears her throat and glares at the audience. "For this segment. We're doing an Ask Jayfeather since Owlie over there," she says pointing to the grinning OwlCookies. "loves Jayfeather so much."

In the audience, Jayfeather groans. "You owe me for this guys!" he growls angrily.

OwlCookies squeales. "But I luffs you! It's a great honor to be the main... character for this!"

Jayfeather sighs and walks up to the stage. Shrugging, Neiyo lowers down the microphone so the cat can speak through it. "Alright. You must be wondering, what do I do with this fanfiction?" Jayfeather says. "It's actually fairly simple. All you do is review your questions. You can ask me questions, the cast of Warriors any question you want. You can even ask Owlie or Neiyo a question."

There is a momentary pause but it is broken by OwlCookies. "Ask any question you like! We will all try our best to answer them! But please, no porno questions. This is a child supported fanfiction and pornography questions will not be tolerated. I mean like, sure you can ask them, but we won't answer them. So thank you for your time! Don't forget to drop by your questions and er... ya! BYEEE!"

**In case you didn't get it, here is what you should do!**

**Review your questions**

**It can be a question to any Warrior character but Jayfeather would really appreciate it if you asked him a queston**

**You may also ask OwlCookies or Neiyo a question**

**No porno questions please**

**Have fun :]**

**(A/N) I DON'T OWN WARRIORS! IT BELONGS TO ERIN HUNTER NOT ME! this is not a profiatble story so... er...**


	2. Chapter 2

OwlCookies walks up on stage grinning like the Cheshire cat in Alice in Wonderland. "HEY! I CAN'T HELP GRINNING LIKE THAT WHEN MY CRUSH SMILES LIKE THAT! PLUS, THAT'S MY EVIL GRIN!" Owlie protests, huffing.

"Right…" Neiyo responds rolling her eyes.

Cautiously seeing that the program has begun, Jayfeather walks up on stage. "Alright. Let's get this over with," he sighs.

"Oh don't be that way!" Owlie smiles happily. "This is fun!"

"Ya ya," Jayfeather groans. "Ok the first question is from… the anonymous reviewer of Patchkit."

**For Jayfeather:**

What do you think of all the JayXStick fanfictions?

Jayfeathers eyes grow wide in horror. "N… NO! I HATE THOSE FANFICTIONS! I AM NOT IN LOVE WITH STICKY! SHE'S JUST A STARCLAN STICK THAT RELATES TO THE PAST THAT'S REALLY COOL BECAUSE I GET TO MEET ROCK AND I GET TO KNOW STUFF! SHE'S NOT MY LOVER! AND PLUS, I'M A MEDICINE CAT!" Suddenly, his eyes grow wide in realization of what he just said. "NO! IT'S NOT WHAT YOU THINK!" he exclaims in horror.

There are a few snickers rippled from the audience. The gray cats face turns a shade of bright red as he looks away in shame.

"So… You DO like the stick?" Owlie scoffs.

"No," he finally says calmly. "In other fanfictions I do, but in REALITY, I do not."

T.T OwlCookies groans. "You have boring answers."

Jayfeather shakes his head in annoyance. "I'm a boring cat."

"NO YOU'RE NOT! YOU'RE THE BESTEST KITTY OUT THERE!" Owlie protests.

"Right… Well the next question is from an anonymous reviewer with not name," Jayfeather continues.

**Jayfeather, do you like someonee? Maybe a stick?**

OwlCookies cracks up when she sees the expression on Jayfeathers face. A mixture of horror, despair, and more annoyance.

"As I simply stated earlier, I do NOT like some because I'm a medicine cat. And I, for StarClans sake, do NOT LIKE A STICK! You fanfiction writers can write all you want, but I do NOT like a stick. That's like a twoleg loving those profound dogs!"

Owlie scoffs again. "Geez! Cats these days! Using big vocabulary!"

"SHUT UP!" Jayfeather growls obviously annoyed. Calming down, he sighs again. "The next question is from yet another anonymous reviewer named… Shimmertail."

**To Jayfeather: do you like Briarlight?**

To Ivypaw: Who do you like more, Hawkfrost or Bumblestripe (please, please, please let it be Hawkfrost)

To Scourge: did you know Firestar was your half-brother?

To Jayfeather: Are you still angry with Leafpool?

To Berrynose: Are you really that obsessed with yourself?

To Hollyleaf: Were you in love with Breezepelt and/or Sol?

At that first Jayfeather question, the emo and depressing cat who will rain on anyone, growls angrily. "I DON'T LIKE ANYONE BECAUSE I'M A MEDICINE CAT! FOR STARCLANS SAKE, WHY CAN'T YOU PEOPLE UNDERSTAND?" Giving up, he bawls in a corner with mixed emotions.

O_O Owlie taps the mic. "Erm… let's move onto the next question… Ivypaw! Come and answer it for us please!"

Ivypaw shrugs in the audience and proudly walks up on stage. "Hawkfrost versus Bumblestripe… Hrm… I don't really like Hawkfrost. Sorry. He's from the Dark Forest and not from my clan. So I'll have to say I I like Bumblestripe better."

Dovepaw sighs in relief but OwlCookies rolls her eyes. "YOUR CATS' ANSWERS ARE BORING!"

"WE'RE NOT ACTING LIKE WE DO IN FANFICTION!" Ivypaw responds growling. "Annoying twoleg," she hisses stalking off into the darkness of the room.

Neiyo shoots at glare at Scourge who is banging his head against the table. "Come on up here Scourge. No matter how bad you all don't want to answer these questions, you all signed a contrat."

"WHAT CONTRACT?" Jayfeather bawls in his corner that had surprisingly turned into a river.

Owlie grins and hold up a piece of paper. "This one!"

_Illegal Tender. This contract proposes that OwlCookies gets to use the cast of Warriors for the rest of this fanfiction. All the cast of Warriors ever mentioned in the series must participate or Theiving Alchemist will make a fanfiction of their death because she's cool like that. Er… uhm… I don't exactly know what to put on a contract so…. Just listen to what Owlie says or she'll have my head._

X [INSERT THE SIGNATURE OF ALL THE WARRIOR CATS HERE]

"WE NEVER AGREED TO THAT!" Tigerstar growls from the audience.

The author sticks out her tongue. "Well that's your problem because I'm cool like that. Now Scourge, come up here and answer Shimmertails question!"

There is a groan but Scourge comes up anyways.

"No. I never knew that Firestar was my half-brother. We have never seen each other until that battle where I took one of his lives and he killed me. I don't believe he knew either," Scourge responds cooly.

Owlie sighs. "PLEASE SOMEONE! PUT SOME HUMOR IN YOUR ANSWERS!"

Scourge huffs and disappears back into the audience. His place is taken by Jayfeather who was forced to stop bawling and to talk into the microphone.

"I'm not necessarily mad at Leafpool. I feel awkward around her so I don't really want to talk to her or be near her. She broke the warrior code by having us and by being mates with that StarClan forsaken WindClan cat. Then she made Hollyleaf die. Nooooo of COURSE I'm still not mad at her!" Once he is done, Jayfeather continues to bawl in his river of a corner.

Neiyo glares at Berrynose who is flirting with Honeyfern and Poppyfrost and being conceited. "BERRYNOSE!" she hissed.

"W… What?" he asks as the crew of the show forcefully drags him onto the stage. "What was the question?"

Everyone who hates him facepalms(including Owlie and Neiyo) "The question was," Owlie starts extremely annoyed. "Are you really that obsessed with yourself?"

"PSSSHT! NO! OF COURSE NOT!" Berrynose says rolling his eyes. "I mean, of course I'm so much better at everything than all of you cats, but I have _other_ obsessions besides myself!" he says with a sexy smirk, grin, and looking very flattering.

"….Like…?" Neiyo asks.

"Now now children. One question at a time! Berrynose is going back to my people!"

Neiyo and OwlCookies look at each other like, W-T-F?

Once Berrynose is long gone, Hollyleaf excitedly bounds up on stage. "Gosh! It's so nice! I feel so acknowledged being asked a question!" she smiles happily.

"Ew… It's you," Owlie groans. (yes. I don't like hollyleaf T.T)

Neiyo and Hollyleaf shoot a warning glance at her which apparently scared OwlCookies so much she ran away bawling in a different corner.

When Hollyleaf sees the question, she gasps. "Why would I ever love Breezepelt or Sol! The Warrior Code is my life! I would never break it! But knowing my birth broke it…" she trails off looking into space sadly. "Well, never mind that. I have never loved either of them."

"Awww! It's drama!" Owlie smiles happily. Neiyo hands a soggy wet piece of paper to her. Owlie frowns. "Why is it wet?" she whispers curiously to Neiyo.

"Jayfeather is still at it," she says pointing over to Jayfeather whose tears had formed an ocean.

Sighing, Owlie snaps her fingers. In an instant, the ocean of tears had disappeared and Jayfeather was now standing at the mic looking very trans-like. The audience looked at the magic in awe.

Blinking confused, Jayfeather read off the soggy piece of paper. "Ok, luckily this is still legible so… the next question is from… skyfoot21!"

**I have a few questions, and here they are!**

1: Has Jayfeather ever wanted to leave the clan?

2: Has Jayfeather ever gotten sick?

3: Has Jayfeather ever dealt with Blackcough?

"To make this short and sweet but no not funny, here it is. I haven't wanted to leave ThunderClan but I have wanted to leave the camp when I was a kit. Ahh… good times… Of course I've gotten sick! Every cat HAS to have gotten sick at one point in their lives! There were the occasional colds and mild coughs and fevers, but nothing to serious. Plus, being a medicine cat means I'm exposed to sickness so, yes I've gotten sick before. Blackcough? I don't believe we've had that in our clan before. Last I heard, Blackcough was just a myth," Jayfeather nods and looks at Neiyo for the next question.

Neiyo reaches into her pocket and pulls out a crumpled piece of paper. Owlie sees this and looks at it curiously.

"Why are all the papers such in bad condition?" she asks curiously.

Neiyo shrugs and hands the paper to Jayfeather. "I dunno. Cuz they've been in my pocket?"

"Right…" Owlie says slyly.

Clearing his throat, he reads from the paper. "This one is a very interesting question from… Splotchpelt!" he says.

**Jayfeather, what's it like being blind? Can you read braille?**

Jayfeathers eyes grow wide O.O "Well, when you're blind, it's all dark. Darker than the eclipse and the Dark Forest combined. Well, I assume the Dark Forest is dark. Is it? I'll have to ask Ivypaw… And about the Braille? In fanfiction terms, sure, I can read Braille. But in real terms, no. I cannot read. As of now, I am reading this paper in Braille."

OwlCookies squeals happily. "CAN YOU TEACH ME HOW TO READ BRAILLE?" :D

Jayfeather shakes his head. "Nope and I don't want to either."

"Poop," Owlie pouts. Jayfeather just smirks

With a poof, a non crumpled piece of paper appears in front of Jayfeather.

"DON'T TOUCH IT!" Owlie gasps. "IT'S NOT CRUMPLED! IT MAY BE DANGEROUS!"

Getting the anger mark, Jayfeather grabs the paper and crumples it from mid air. "Happy now?" he growls.

Contented, OwlCookies nods.

"Alright, this question if from an anonymous reviewer name… NO." When he says the name he starts laughing. "I'm sorry but please people! Think of better names!"

**Hey,Jayfeather!**

get this over with...I AM YOUR BIGGEST FAN!

My question:Are you happy beging an medicanie cat now?

"Aww! Another question for me! Thanks guys! Well then again… this IS _Ask Jayfeather_ so I understand," Jayfeather smiles.

"Why do you remind me of this person from FullMetal Alchemist soooo much?" Owlie says rolling her eyes.

"Screw FullMetal Alchemist! This is Warriors!" Neiyo hisses. OwlCookies just shrugs.

"Yay! Another big fan! I'm sorry _NO_ but I have many _biggest_ fans so I'm not sure you'd want to say that. Take OwlCookies for example, she would go to Erin Hunters house and scream in their faces for a million hours strait if I were to die." Jayfeather just shrugs as all the fangirls sighs sadly. "Ok now for the real question… "

OwlCookies grins her Cheshire cat grin.

"Actually, I don't feel I have anything to say about that. At first I really wanted to be a warrior, but now that I've been a medicine cat for moons, I say that it has gotten better. I still do want to be a warrior, but I feel StarClan made me blind for a reason. It may have to do with the prophecy. So… really, I couldn't say," Jayfeather shrugs again.

Neiyo reaches into her pocket and takes out the last question. Owlie snatches the paper from her and huffs.

"I wanna read this one! Especially since it didn't show in the reviews but in my email instead :3" OwlCookies smiles evily while Neiyo just rolls her eyes. "Ok! So this question is from… Mothstar!"

**K heres some Q's!**

To Jayfeather

Do you love Willowshine?

Is your sister isane?

Are you a cookie?

For Owlcookies

Are you in love with Jayfeather?

To Neiyo

Will you continue this?

Jayfeather groans annoyed again and gets the anger mark. "I DON'T LOVE ANYONE I DON'T LOVE ANYONE! FOR STARCLANS SAKE I DON'T LOVE ANYONE! Well… besides my littermates. But no, I am not in love."

OwlCookies sneaks in another mic and speaks through it. "YOU LOVE YOUR STICK DON'T YOU!" she grins evilly.

"NO I DON'T," he growls annoyed. "And no! My sister is NOT insane!"

"YA SHE IS! IN MY FANFICTION, HOLLYLEAF IS INSANE!" Owlie exclaims laughing evilly.

Neiyo rolls her eyes. "That's because you don't like her."

"Ya well, there was this one good Hollyleaf fanfiction-" The crew had to drag her away…

"Am I… a cookie…" Jayfeather repeats O_o "No. I don't believe so."

OwlCookies escapes from the clutches of the crew to answer her question. "I'm not in love with Jayfeather. I'm just a fangirl! I like human boys to you know!" :O

Neiyo looks at her question. "I'm sorry Mothstar, but you have this all wrong. I'm not the author of this fanfiction. OwlCookies is Theiving Alchemist," she says pointing to Owlie who got shot by a tranquil gun. "So technically you should be asking her because I'm just her co-host. But if you were to ask her, she would obviously say, _OF COURSE I'M GOING TO CONTINUE THIS! IT'S TOTALLY COOL AND FUN_!" Neiyo nods.

After she was done, Jayfeather disappeared and OwlCookies passed out. The audience was in a havoc mess. Sighing, she grabbed the microphone and raised up the speaker volume. "THIS SEGEMENT OF ASK JAYFEATHER WAS BROUGHT TO YOU BY THEIVING ALCHEMIST'S TYPING FINGERS. SHE DOESN'T OWN ANYTHING BESIDES ME, HERSELF, THE CONTRACT, AND THIS FANFICTION. SO… GOODBYE."

Neiyo sighs and rolls her eyes realizing that she must be the most sanest person.


	3. Chapter 3

Neiyo hands OwlCookies a slip and paper and smirks at the horrified expression Owlie suddenly gets. "DEAR LORD THIS IS A LOT OF QUESTIONS!" she exclaims completely horrified.

Jayfeather groans from the side stage. "Great, more questions for me to answer. Most likely about my stick THAT I BROKE IN THE SECOND BOOK OF OMEN OF THE STARS COUGH COUGH."

Nodding in agreement, Owlie adds, "I can't believe how famous this has gotten! So many questions! But don't worry reviewers! We _will_ answer every question. As long as it's not pornography. And er… sorry for not updating a lot! I have a very busy life filled with swimming, school, more swimming, and swim meets!"

To the left of OwlCookies, Neiyo slaps her arm. "No one cares about your life!"

"Well EXCUSE ME for apologizing about not updating!"

"You're excused."

Growling, Jayfeather walks up on stage and slaps the two girls' faces with his tail. "For StarClans sake, let's just get this over with and answer these questions!"

Owlie nods and hands the gray cat the slip of paper she just received. Note: the writing had just transformed into Braille.

"Holy StarClan! So many questions!" Jayfeather exclaims. Then he clears his throat and begins the segment. Of course as we all know, this is from the anonymous reviewer, Patchkit. I see how much you love making me answer the strangest questions," he says rolling his eyes.

**To Jayfeather:**

Do you want to ride a unicorn?

What is 2x2x2x2x2x2x2x2x2x2?

Do you have a kit, maybe half stick?

Fo you want to eat OwlCookies?

Did you know you are my favorite character?

Do you like the JayXBlue fics?

What do you think of the pairing MistystarXBlackstar?

What do you think of the name Stickkit?

Are you a rainbow?

Will you PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE turn into a duck for me?

"No I do not want to ride a unicorn," Jayfeather hisses annoyed.

Owlie gasps. "BUT I DOOOOOOOOOOOO!"

"SHUT UP!" Neiyo whacks her again. OwlCookies whimpers.

"The answer to that very complicated math problem, is 4. You canNOT go wrong with the number 4!" OwlCookies exclaims.

From the crowd, Appleblx stands up and shouts, "NO! YOU CAN GO WRONG WITH THE NUMBER FOUR! IT MUST BE THE NUMBER EIGHT!"

The crew took away both girls…

Jayfeather shakes his head. "The answer is 2,048. How do I know that? Because I'm cool like that." He looks back down at the paper and sighs. "You people give me headaches. No, I do not have a kit. Lest a kit that is half stick!" he growls. "I'd eat OwlCookies if that makes her shut up, but since this is her fanfiction, I can't because she'll find SOME STUPID WAY to exit my body and it may not be very pleasant."

Neiyo starts cracking up. "HAHAHAHA! JAYFEATHERS TURNING PINK! HAHAHA HE'S THINKING SOMETHING WRONG!"

The now pink cat turns into a much deeper shade of embarrassment. "W… Well anyways… I honestly don't care that I'm your favorite character. I am a LOT of peoples' favorite character included THAT," he says flicking his tail to Owlie who was being restrained and gagged by the crew.

"Uhm… I don't think I've ever been shown a JayXBlue fic. I honestly couldn't care about a MistyXBlack. I. DON'T. LOVE. A. STICK. WHY CAN'T IT GO INTO YOUR BRAINS!" Once again, he starts bawling.

The crew restrains Owlie enough to snap her fingers to Jayfeather can stop bawling.

"I am obviously not a rainbow and I will NOT turn into a duck just for you."

OwlCookies whimpers in her gag. "UGGHHT UI UHNNA EE OOU ENN UHH UUCKK!"

Translation: BUT I WANNA SEE YOU AS A DUCK!

"That's just too bad," Jayfeather says. "Next question is from… Blazingstar of ThunderClan. Glad to have a new audience member… I guess…"

**That was pretty funny :)**

My Questions:

-XXX-

Jayfeather, don't lie, we all know you love your stick... Now will you just confess already?

Dovepaw, do you like Tigerheart? Do you wish he was born in ThunderClan?

Briarlight, what are your feelings for Jayfeather?

Firestar, do you see Tigerstar in your dreams?

Heathertail, do you still love Lionblaze?

Lionblaze, do you like Icecloud or Cinderheart better?

-XXX-

Please update soon! :)

"I DON'T LOVE MY STICK!" Jayfeather screams almost immediately.

"CONFESS! CONFESS!" the audience cheers. Blazingstar the loudest of them all.

Just because Owlie is lazy and is running out of computer time, she snaps her fingers and Dovepaw, Briarlight, Firestar, Heathertail, and Lionblaze all appear on stage.

"NOOOOOO! I DON'T WANNA BE IN THE HELL HOLE!" Lionblaze protests.

Shrugging, Dovepaw answers her question. "W… What? T… Tigerheart? N… no! I couldn't! H… He's from a different clan a… and…!" she blushes insanely and embarrassingly walks away into the darkness of the audience.

Briarlight thinks for a moment. "My feelings for Jayfeather… Well… He's really great! He is trying his best to keep me healthy so I can stay strong and not go to StarClan! So I'll try my best to always listen to what he says!" Briarlights eyes sparkle with admiration.

Firestars eyes widen in horror. "I don't have dreams of him! I have nightmares!" he eeks and runs away.

"Some… leader…" Jayfeather scoffs.

Heathertail is blushing too much to answer the question so… obviously there is your answer RIGHT THERE.

Lionblaze blinks confused. "I really don't get where you people got Icecloud from. But seriously, I like Cinderheart better. We were going out for a little bit… but… once I told her my secret… it went downhill from there…" he frowned sadly.

Jayfeather once again looks at the paper. "The next question is from… anonymous with no name…"

**I ask jayfeather! Note: I am not going to ask you about you and your stick... 'cause you broke it in book two of Omen of The Stars.**

Jayfeather, why are you so grumpy-like all the time?

Is Leafpool still mad about herself for having kits?

Ivypaw, if you can choose your warrior name, what would it be?

Dovepaw, did you know that Ivypaw is in league with the Dark Forest?

Crowfeather, do you hate Jayfeather, Lionblaze, Hollyleaf or Breezepelt most?

Firestar, di you know that Cinderpelt loved you?

Sandstorm, did you know that Firestar loved a medicine cat?

Owlcookies, why are you obessed with Jayfeather?

Neiyo, why do you think you are the most sane person?

(Well that's a lot of questions!)

Bumblestripe, are you saddened by Briarlight's crippiality?

Thank you if you answer to all of them!

"Ya! See people! I broke my stick in book two!" Jayfeather exclaims happily. "Finally a twoleg with some sense!"

Jayfeathers eyes light up. "I am so grumpy all the time because older cats treat me like a kit just because I'm blind! They go gaga all over me and I hate it!"

Leafpool looks at the audience confused. "Mad…? Oh! I see… Well, I…" She looks down sadly. "I don't really want to talk about it…" Solemnly, she walks into the darkness.

"Ivyheart!" Ivypaw exclaims proudly. "A lot of people think I should be Ivytail but honestly, I like Ivyheart better."

Dovepaw nods. "Yes, Ivypaw told us about going to the Dark Forest. I just hope she doesn't join forces with them."

Crowfeather looks disgusted. "Why would I love any of those?" Enough said…. O_o

Dumbfounded, Firestar shook his head. "C… Cinderpelt? I! I never knew!" His heart beats rapidly and nervously glances at Sandstorm who is glaring at him from a safe distance.

"Yes. I knew. But thank you for reminding me, Mothstar. Now I can remember to plot my revenge," Sandstorm says while death glaring the very frightened Firestar.

OwlCookies grins. "Because he's awesome! Jayfeather is my complete favorite character! I luffs him! Not love, LUFF!"

Neiyo sighs annoyed. "I think that I'm the only sane person because in the last chapter, everyone was being idiots."

Bumblestripe frowns. "Of course! Briarlight is my litter mate… I was devastated when she became crippled…" Sadly, he looked down.

To ruin that perfectly dramatic moment, Owlie-as usual- buts in. "OK! NEXT QUESTION! Jay Jay?" she notions.

Shrugging, Jayfeather reads off the Braille paper again. "This is from the anonymous reviewer of- HEY! WHAT THE HECK? I MUST _NOT_ DIE!" Jayfeather growls but stops once OwlCookies glares at him. "Gr… fine. This is from Jayfeather must die." He had to bite his lip to stop from growling angrily.

**Blindjay, is Lionblaze in love with Cinderheart.**

Jayfeather, would you rather die painfully a million times or admit that you have fallen for a stick?

"GRRRRR I HATE THIS PERSON," Jayfeather hisses. "I don't know if Lionblaze is in love with Cinderheart! Sure! Let's go with that! AND I WOULD RATHER DIE PAINFULLY A MILLION TIMES THAN ADMIT SOMETHING THAT THAT IS PREPOSTEROUS!"

"Psssht. That's stupid. I'd rather lie about loving a stick than die a million times painfully," Owlie scoffs. Jayfeather only growls in response.

"Next question," Neiyo says. "Is from Swanstream."

**Question for Tigerstar: Is it hard to not bump intonstuff in the Dark Forest? It's so dark...**

Question for Scourge: Would you listen to Lady Gaga? Ever.

Question for Hollyleaf: did it hurt when you supposedly die?

Question for Jayfeather: Do you love ANYBODY? (if he says no, HE IS A LOVELESS JERK!)

Question for Dovepaw: when you hear and see stuff, are there some things you regret seeing/hearing? *cough* *cough*

Question for Lionblaze: if you stood in front of a twoleg monster, would you get hurt, despite your powers?

Owlie glares at Swanstream in the audience. "Copycat," she hisses under her breath.

Neiyo shakes her head and pushes OwlCookies off into oblivion. "Sorry Swamstream, Owlie has problems with people copying her ideas. She may seem harsh but… it's her personality. So… sorry about that. Better do something quick because Owlie will probably glare at you for the next… I dunno, let's say… 4 years or so?"

Tigerstar blinks. "Er… I guess you get used to the dark."

Brokenstar laughs evilly. "BWAHAHAHA! TIGERSTAR BUMPED INTO A TREE THE FIRST FEW MOONS HE WAS THERE!"

O_O "No. I don't know what a Lady Gaga is but it sounds stupid and pointless. Oh look, a kitten. I shall kill it now. Goodbye," Scourge quickly says. Then he leaves to stalk the 'kitten.' But of course we all know he just wants to be with Mr. Tickles(his teddy bear).

"No! Of course it didn't!" Hollyleaf says sarcastically and rolling her eyes. "Just a few thousand pounds of rock collapsing onto my very body doesn't hurt at all!"

"Glad to hear you didn't die painfully," Neiyo scoffs.

"I LOVE MY LITTERMATES. THAT'S IT," Jayfeather hisses. "AND NO I'M NOT BI OR WHATEVER THE OTHER WORDS ARE!"

Dovepaw cocks her head and looks slightly confused. "There… hm… actually no. I don't go into personal business like… like that," she says while blushing insanely.

"ADMIT IT!" OwlCookies exclaims howling with laughter.

"OK! I ADMIT IT! B… BUT! I DIDN'T MEAN TO! I CAN'T HELP HEARING THE THINGS POPPYFROST AND BERRYNOSE SAYS TO EACH OTHER!" Dovepaw cries running away.

"Uh… anyway… I have nooo idea…" Lionblaze says awkwardly.

OwlCookies grabs the mic. "OK PEOPLE! I GOTTA GO NOW! SO SEE YOU IN THE NEXT CHAPTER! SORRY FOR NOT UPDATING! I CAN ONLY UPDATE ON THE WEEKENDS SO…. YA! BYE."


	4. Chapter 4

The lights turn on and tapping noises can be heard from the speakers. A spot light shines brightly on OwlCookies who is repeatedly tapping the microphone and laughing every time it made a noise. "Haha…" she laughs. "Funny noise!"

"Grow up!" Neiyo hisses pushing Owlie out of the way. "Alright! Since it is the weekend, Theiving Alchemist can update again! So… enjoy."

You can hear her whimpering in the darkness of "corner-san."

"Ok Jayfeather, you too. Quit hiding and come out here!" Neiyo orders.

A groaning Jayfeather unwilling trudges onto stage. "But I don't wanna!"

"THAT'S JUST TO BAD!" Neiyo hisses.

Jayfeather groans once again but reads from the paper. "Ok. This question is from LightningstormZero," he says.

**Bumblestripe, why are you named after a transformer?**

Ivypaw, will you love me?

Lionblaze, you are a wanabee.

Berrynose, did you know I caught you cheating on Poppyfrost. WITH yourself!

Jayfeather, can you read a book? Preferably Hoot.

Bumblestripe looks at LightningstormZero confused. "Transformers? What's that?" he asks.

OwlCookies stalks next to him and explains what Transformers are.

His light bulb turns on. "Oh! No, I don't think I am. Isn't that Transformers name Bumblebee? I'm Bumblestripe thank you very much," Bumblestripe says. Then, with his head raised high, he walks into the audience.

"No," Ivypaw quickly says. "I will NOT love you."

"I am NOT a wannabe!" Lionblaze growls in protests.

"Why I! I never!" Berrynose says all… conceited.

Poppyfrost appears looking shocked. "W… What?"

"NO! IT'S NOT WHAT YOU THINK!"

OwlCookies starts cracking up. "Nice one Lightning! xD"

"I could read a book if it was in Braille. Sure, I guess I would read Hoot if it was in Braille," Jayfeather says.

"OH MY GOSH I LOVE HOOT!" Owlie chirps happily.

"Ok," Jayfeather says. "No one cares. Hm… Let's see. The next question is from fallenshadow962. Hahaha… I haven't seen any anonymous reviewers so far!"

**I have some questions for the warriors.**

UNO! SPIDERLEG! (Am I a crazed fangirl? YES!)

Did you ever love Daisy? EVER.

Do you care at all for your kits?

Do have a crush on ANY she-cat? (Dead or alive and from any clan at all)

Dous! Ferncloud.

Did Ashfur ever confide in you anything at all?

Are you planning to take over the world with your childern?

Three! Dustpelt.

Do you love sandstorm?

Four? Firestar?

If Spottedleaf was still alive, would you have become mates with Sandstorm?

Did you know ashfur had a plan to kill you?

Ashfur?

After all that happened do you still love Squirrelflight?

Did you ever have feelings for Whitewing? (NOT MY IDEA)

Jayfeather?

Do you love rock? where you just useing the stick?

He he... THIS IS HALLERIOUS!

Spiderleg's eyes widen in horror. "Good StarClan! A whole bunch of questions!"

(A/N I'm very sorry but since I don't know much about Spiderleg, he might be out of character. I'M A JAY FAN FTW!)

"Er… Sure, I loved Daisy. And ya, I love my kits. And uh… er… mh…" Spiderleg looks a bit disturbed at that third question. "Oh look! Chuck Norris! Bye!" he exclaims running away. All eyes follow him as he runs into the waiting arms of the real live Chuck Norris.

It is now Fernclouds question. She waltz up to the stage and smiles. "No. Ashfur has never trusted me with his secrets. Only he was a kit! It was so cute because he would always tell me that he had a feeling the other kits were out to get him! And no! Why would I plan to take over the world using my precious kits?" she exclaims baffled. Haha… baffled…

"YES! SANDSTORM! YOU KNOW I LOVED YOU!" Dustpelt screams from the crowd. Awkward silence…

"Wow…" OwlCookies says breaking the silence.

Firestar turns redder than he already is. "Uh… ya… I probably would have," he manages to say after getting multiple glares from Sandstorm. "No, I never knew. StarClan never said anything. Nor did Leafpool and Jay…paw? Of course I still love Squirrelflight! She's my kit! No… I have never had feelings for Whitewing," he says.

"WHAT?" Whitewing exclaims. "AM I JUST TO UGLY FOR YOU?"

"NO… O.O" Firestar says awkwardly.

"NO FOXDUNG! I HAVE NEVER LOVED ROCK OR MY STICK FOR THAT MATTER! FOR STARCLANS SAKE, I BROKE MY STICK!" he growls. "Yes I was just using the stick!" Angry growls echoed throughout the room.

"Anger management," Neiyo huffed. Immediately, the crowd roars with laughter.

Jayfeather pouts. "Whatever. The next question is from the anonymous reviewer XxCandiSprinklzxX."

**Admit that you love your stick in front of it calling it any pet names you could think of ir be eternally tortured and reincarnated until you do. :) (The stick will be reincarnated. No worries.)**

Also, do you like me? (Not love. LIKE.)

Also x2, there has been rumors that you like Yellowfang...is it true?`

And this is from all of my friends, HOW YA DOIN'?

These are all for Jayfeather!~

"I WILL NEVER ADMIT I FELL FOR A STICK BECAUSE I NEVER DID!" Jayfeather growls. "I'D RATHER BE ETERNALLY TORTURED AND REINCARNATED WITH THAT STICK FOREVER!"

Owlie scoffs. "Stupid answers! Cats these days!"

"So far, I do not like you considerably because of that previous question," he huffs. "I like Yellowfang as a distant friend. So no, it is NOT TRUE." He glares at the audience. "I'm very mad. That is how I am doing."

OwlCookies starts cracking up and crying. "Hahah! Good one!"

Crickets chirping in heard….

"Right…" Owlie huffs. "Next question is from the anonymous reviewer Patchkit. Thank you for the multiple reviews every chapter. Your question make Jayfeather angry but it makes me happy to know I have fans!"

**For Jayfeather:**

Are you in love with Dovepaw?

Do you love a teddy bear?

Are you blue?

Are you in love with pie?

Why don't you love the stick?

Is Blackstar in love with Mistystar?

Can you read my mind?

Did you know these are random questions?

Jayfeather glares into the audience trying to find Patchkit. "StarClan forbid you," he growls under his breath. "NO. NO. NO. NO. BECAUSE I JUST DON'T. I HAVE NO IDEA. AND ONCE AGAIN, NO!" Jayfeather scoffs. "That was easy. Just a few no's and that's all."

"Right…" Neiyo says. "Next question is from Brackenpaw!"

**Haha, omg this is soooo good! Here are my question, I know that there's many, so you can maybe split them up for two chapters or something... :-)**

Okay:

Question for Tigerheart: Tigerheart, do you like Ivypaw or Dovepaw more?

Question for Leopardstar: Were you in love with Tigerstar?

Question for Berrynose: Do you ever think of Honeyfern when you are with Poppyfrost? Like, just the two of you except for Dovepaw hearing it?

Question for Jayfeather: Would you sacrifice your family to be able to see?

Question for Tigerstar: Were you in love with Goldenflower, Sasha or Leopardstar?

Question for Willowpelt: Did you REALLY mate with your brother, Patchpelt?

Question for Lionheart & Frostfur: Were you two mates?

Question for Crowfeather: Do you regret returning to the Clans and leaving Leafpool?

"Well…" Owlie says. "If I split this into two chapters, that would take a while to update. Plus, Mothstar has a question after yours! And also, the cast would LOVE to answer EVERY. SINGLE. QUESTION. THEY. RECEIVE," she says evilly glaring at the cats who have been asked a question. There are loud groans but soon stifled after OwlCookies gives her you-signed-the-contract-glare.

"Hm…. I don't know. Probably Dovepaw," Tigerheart says.

In the audience, Dovepaw glows with shallow pride while Ivypaw glares angrily at her.

"I told you he liked me better!" Dovepaw excitedly whispers to her sister. "You owe me two rabbits!"

"Gr…" Ivypaw growls.

"No!" Leopardstar hisses. "Why would I have ever loved that foxhearted beast?"

"…." Berrynose is too busy admiring himself in the mirror.

Jayfeather thinks for a moment. "My sight… or my family… I'll sarafice Breezepelt. But not the rest of them… I guess," he says.

"… Er… Sasha!" Tigerstar quickly says. "I never loved Goldenflower! And why would I love Leopardstar?"

(A/N WILLOWPELT + PATCHPELT? I er… don't know who they are and what happened so…)

"…Yes…." Willowpelt awkwardly says. "I did mate with my brother…"

Lionheart and Frostfur look at each other confused. "No," Lionheart says. "We've never been mates," Frostfur adds.

Crowfeather looks at the audience very calmly but on the inside he's very scared XP "I don't regret leaving her. She is a ThunderClan cat, I'm from WindClan," he says cooly.

"ADMIT IT!" OwlCookies exclaims. "YOU KNOW YOU STILL LOVE LEAFPOOL!"

Both Crowfeather and Leafpool are now blushing insanely and glancing nervously at each other.

"HAH! Point proven."

"Well ANYWAY," Jayfeather butts in. "The next question is from Mothstar. I also dislike you but Owlie loves you."

**Love love love this! To admit I'm obsessed with Jayfeather too! Yes Jayfeather you have fans! I'm gonna ask some questions!**

Jayfeather: Do you love Briarlight?

Owlcookies: Why the heck is your name OwlCookies?

Neiyo: Why is your name Neiyo?

Jayfeather: Do you love anyone who is in StarClan?

Lionblaze: Do you love Heathertail?

Ivypaw: Do you love Hawkfrost?

Hawkfrost: Do you love Ivypaw?

Bluestar: Did you love Tigerstar and/or Firestar?

Spottedleaf: WHY THE HECK WON'T YOU LEAVE FIRESTAR ALONE? HE ALREADY HAS A MATE SO KINDLY GO AWAY!

Sandstorm: Did you know that Spottedleaf still bugs Firestar in his dreams?

A totally random question for Jayfeather: What is your favorite food?  
Purdy: Why do you talk in a funny accent?

I loves this thingy!

"Yes. I know I have multiple fans. But I hate the questions they ask!" Jayfeather exclaims truthfully. "And NO I DO NOT LOVE ANYONE AS A MATE! JUST AS LITTER MATES! THAT'S ALL!"

"Hey! That's not cool!" Owlie angrily exclaims. "That's not very nice and now I feel bad because I think that you think that my youtube name is stupid! Now I wanna cry because I feel horrible!"

Neiyo whacks her. "Shut up! Mothstar asked me the same question!"

"YA BUT MOTHSTAR PUT HECK AND NOW I'M VERY SAD!"

"JUST ANSWER THE QUESTION!" Neiyo hisses.

OwlCookies whimpers. "My name is OwlCookies because when I made my youtube account, I was into Guardians of Ga'Hoole by Kathryn Lasky. Very good series! Try reading it sometimes! And oh, the cookies part came from when I was obsessed with chocolate cookies. Put that together and you get OwlCookies!" Her poutiness turned into a gleaming smile.

"I got my name because…. Random… lettering…?" Neiyo says trying to make a stupid excuse.

"I do not love anyone who is in StarClan. And no, *spoiler alert* Hollyleaf is NOT in StarClan. In fact, she is not dead the way it is. *end spoiler alert*" Jayfeather says trying not to burst out with anger.

Turning red, Lionblaze looks down. "Y…Yes… B… but…."

Owlie pushes Lionblaze away. "No excuses! You answered you question!"

"No I do NOT love Hawkfrost," Ivypaw says.

"I don't love Ivypaw either!" Hawkfrost protests.

"I loved them like a master loves their apprentice," Bluestar says. "But it broke my heart when Tigerstar betrayed ThunderClan."

"Mellow dramatic," Owlie scoffs.

Spottedleaf expression O_O "Uh… because I'm a StarClan cat who was a medicine cat who has prophecys…? And because Erin Hunter (I don't know if this is true) thinks that I should be intertwined with Firestars destiny."

Sandstorm immediately glares at Firestar. "No, I did not."

Firestar eeps and runs away to Spiderleg to be petted by the awaiting Chuck Norris.

"Does is matter what I like to eat?" Jayfeather retorts.

"…I have a funny accent…?" Wind blows Purdy's shocked expression.

"ALRIGHTY THEN! THAT'S ALL THE QUESTIONS AND ANSWERS WE HAVE FOR TODAY!" OwlCookies chirps. "Tune in next time for the next chapter of ASK JAYFEATHER!"

The camera zooms into Jayfeather who is shaking his head and crossing his paw across his neck. "Don't do it!" he mouths.**  
**


	5. Chapter 5

This segment of Ask Jayfeather is brought to you by… LAMVAC! Where Owlie made her epic swimming wins!

"…" The spotlight shines on OwlCookies who is snoring in a corner nearby. Neiyo is standing next to her clipboard and pen ready to… whack people with. A vein twitches on Neiyos forhead as she whacks her sleeping companion on the head.

"Wake up idiot!" she hisses.

Abruptly, Owlie is woken. Neiyo sees this and hands her a long sheet of paper. Adjusting her glasses, she reads it. Her eyes widen as she reads. "DUDE! SEVEN FRIGGIN REVIEWS IN UNDER AN HOUR OF POSTING THE LAST CHAPTER!" o_O

Neiyo face palms. "It's what you get for having such a famous question and answer fanfiction."

OwlCookies sniffles. "I know… but people are making me feel bad DX Just like in Appleblx' Ask Maka!"

Another whack in blown to the authors head. "Stop overreacting! You're just being sensitive!"

"YA BUT THEY MAKE ME FEEL BAD AND EMO AND IF I DON'T WHINE ABOUT IT I THINK SUICIDAL!"

"OWLIE!" Neiyo exclaims.

OwlCookies sniffles. "Y…yes…?"

"No one here cares! They just want more chapters!"

"Ya but if I don't feel happy and good, the chapter sucks and I don't update as often. Just like in Blade Dance of the Moonlight. I really wanted to do that but it failed once I lost inspiration…"

"NO ONE CARES! DRAG GAYFEATHER UP HERE AND LET'S START!"

A growl is heard from backstage. "I'M NOT GAYFEATHER, GENIUS!"

Neiyo snaps her fingers and immediately, Jayfeather appears on stage looking fancy and stuff.

He groans. "Ok fine. Let's get this over with. Hopefully there won't be so many reviews for this chapter so I can get some rest! Geez seriously! Another update in under an hour!"

"Wait for me to review…!" Mothstar calls from the stage.

"Er… review faster," Owlie says. "And uh… I probably won't finish this chapter today so… I'll try to finish this on mahh bday!"

"No one cares about your life," Neiyo says.

Sighing, OwlCookies gives Jayfeather the paper. "I hate Be-Mean-To-Chelsea-Day," Owlie says.

Clearing his throat, Jayfeather reads off the paper. "The first reviewer is from… oh StarClan… not HER(or him…?) AGAIN!" Gritting his teeth he manages to say, "…the anonymous reviewer… XxCandiSprinklzxX."

***sniffs* You don't like me? Oh well. Now for questions. (still fir Jayfeather)**

Did you know that you have a stalker? *coughmecough*

Are you sure about that?

Didyou know I like annoying you?

Have you ever been called annoying?

How come you say you don't like the stick but in Fading Echoes it says that it hurt you when they tossed it in the river?

Do you like cookies?

Have you ever been to Super Weenie Hut Junior?

Do you listen to Justin Bieber?

Are you getting annoyed?

My friend said hi, what do you say to her?

Bye!~

"No," Jayfeather sighs. "I did not know I have a stalker and in general, you. But now I do know. Yes, I'm sure about that. I can see that you thoroughly _enjoy_ annoying me dearly. Yes I have been called annoying. Leafpools quote 'you walk around the camp like a dark little crowd waiting to rain on someone' obviously states that. I don't like the stick because it's an inanimate object! It hurt because I…. oh shut up!" Jayfeather says once he sees Owlie giving him lovey dovey stares.

"Admit it!" she squeals.

"I don't eat twoleg food. No- what the heck is Super Weenie Hut Junior anyway?"

"IT'S FROM SPONGEBOB!"

"Justin Beiber? Do you mean Justine Beaver? That's what Dovepaw calls him. She practically drools over that high pitched twoleg! No. I'm not very annoyed at the moment. Leafpool shoved down some twoleg pills down my throat a few minutes ago. I think it's helping."

"….Hi…."

"That wasn't so hard now was it?" Owlie grins evilly.

Neiyo grabs the mic. "The next question is from the anonymous reviewer Shimmertail. Owlie is very happy you constantly review."

**Hi Jay-Jay! I just want to go ahead and say, I DO NOT SUPPORT STICKXJAY! Here's some questions.**

To Jay-Jay: Are you angry with StarClan for making you blind?

To Brightheart: How did Swiftpaw convince you to come with him to Snakerocks?

To Jay-Jay: Who is the cat you hate most in your Clan? Ya know, besides Leafpool?

To anyone who might know the answer: Could a Dark Forest/StarClan cat have kits with a live cat?  
**  
To Blackstar: Do you feel anything for Tawnypelt?**

To Tawnypelt: Did you feel anything for Blackstar?

To Jay-Jay: Do you like me. (Not love, just like)

"Yay!" Jayfeather exclaims. "A sane person who doesn't support StickXJay!"

"Hehe… Royai…" Owlie says dreamily while reading all the StickXJay fics.

"Right… Ok. I _was_ angry about being blind. But I believe that StarClan had a reason to make me blind," Jayfeather explains. Looking at the bottom question, he continues. "Sure. I like you. Since you don't support StickXJay and you don't ask stupid questions."

Brightheart looks down sadly. "It was easy and simple… We were more than ready to become warriors but Bluestar wouldn't let us. So Swiftpaw said that if we found out what was killing all the prey at Snakerocks, Bluestar would surely make us warriors… I just wish… we didn't…"

"Wow. I can't believe I didn't see this question…" Jayfeather murmurs. "In my clan…? Hm… Probably Squirrelflight. It may sound harsh, but she was part of it too."

(disclaimer: NO I DON'T OWN ERIN HUNTER) Erin Hunter walks up and grabs the microphone. "That's a very good idea! But no, those cats are dead so they could never have a physical body to mate with another living cat," they say in unison.

Everyone backs away from her as she walks away.

"Er… that was a disturbing answer…." OwlCookies and Neiyo say awkwardly.

Blackstar walks up on stage proudly puffing out his chest. Haha… because he _finally_ got asked a question. "I have feelings for Tawnypelt as a member of my clan. Nothing more," he says. Then he walks into the shadows all dramatically…. LOL

"Er… Just like what Blackstar said. I'm just a warrior and he's my leader," Tawnypelt says.

"Wow…" Owlie says. "Because of the pills Leafpool gave Jayfeather, this is all going very quickly… LAME!" she exclaims all bored.

Leafpool spazz-laughs evilly. "BWAHAHAA!"

A giant cookie randomly appears in Owlie's hand. She chucks the cookie at Leafpools head and knocks her out. Huffing, she turns around. "That cookie did not deserve to be touched by that evil kitty!"

"I like this pill," Jayfeather says.

"Well I don't because you don't have your anger management problems which makes the whole point because it's funny!"

OwlCookies snaps her fingers and all traces of Leafpool's twoleg pills have disintegrated into thin air. Immediately, anger boils up inside Jayfeather and he is about ready to steam and explode!

"Yay! Much better!" Owlie chirps happily.

"For StarClans sake! Why did we sign that stupid contract?" Jayfeather growls.

Neiyo comes up from where she was standing and whacks both idiots on the head. "Ok children, let's get onto the next question."

"This is from the anonymous reviewer Goldenstar," she says. "WAIT! NO! DON'T SHOW THIS QUESTION TO OWLIE! SHE'S GOING TO CRY!" Neiyo rapidly says trying to get the screen from showing the questions. But it's too late.

**Hilarious! I have a whole list here. Ready?**

Owlcookies: Are you insane? Are you going to hurt Swanstream cuz she copied (NOT!)? Do you like Thornclaw?

Neiyo: Is Owlcookies insane (in case she doesn't answer truthfully)? Favorite cat? Why does Jayfeather keep crying?

Jayfeather: I will not ask you about the stick cuz you BROKE IT! It's gone! Who is your favorite Starclan cat? Do you think Hollyleaf is really dead? Who is your best friend?

"Yes. I'm insane. I admit it :3 because it's true. Everywhere I go, as long as I'm talking about something interesting, I'm really loud. No O.o I'm not going to hurt Swanstream because she DID copy. I'm not like that. Sure I'll be all mad but I won't hurt people…? NO I DON'T LIKE THORNCLAW! HE'S JUST NOT COOL ENOUGH! JAY-JAY, WHITESTORM, SCOURGE, AND FLAMETAIL FTW!"

Yes. Que Owlie's happy dance…

"SHEILD YOUR EYES!" people scream running around and freaking out.

OwlCookies whimpers. "WAHHHH!" she starts crying and bawling in corner-san.

"ARGGG! MY QUESTION!" Neiyo screams trying to calls everyone down. "Yes Owlie is insane! Her favorite cat? Or my favorite cat? Owlie just answered if you mean _her_ favorite cat. My favorite cat? Hm… probably Tigerstar because he bad*** like that. Jayfeather keeps crying because he keeps getting extremely angry so… er…. Mood-swings…?" Neiyo suggests.

"My favorite StarClan cat…? Uh… it's not Rock, let me just say that," Jayfeather says. "I do think Hollyleaf is dead. I also think she isn't. My best friend would probably be my brother."

"YAY NEXT QUESTION!" Owlie exclaims. "I got like another seven so er… this is going to take awhile to update…"

"The next question is from Superleigh50," Jayfeather announced. "This twoleg has a sensible question!"

**Jayfeather: Seriously, when was the last time you were actually happy? O_O**

There is a pause and an awkward moment.

"…" Crickets begin chirping.

"…. WOW JAYFEATHER!" Neiyo exclaims.

….. Yes. Another awkward moment. "WHAT?" Jayfeather exclaims. "I dunno, when I was a kit?"

"Grawr!" OwlCookies exclaims. "Lame."

"Next question," Neiyo says. "Is from Sw… wait no… That's not a question…. Ok, the next question is from Tacos are the BEST."

**Ok!**

To Jayfeather- Why u blind!

To Firestar- Who u like better Spottedleaf or

Sandstorm? ( we all know u like Spottedleaf better)

To Cinderpelt- What's it like having a freaky keg problem?

To Bluestar- Were u sad when Oakheart died?

To Lionblaze- (smiles) CHEEZ!

Lol lots of questions!

"I'm blind because Erin Hunter and StarClan said so," Jayfeather pouts. OwlCookies begins laughing insanely causing another awkward moment.

"AWKWARD MOMENT!" a brown haired girl in the audience laughs along with her. (A/N one of my fma loving friends at school :3)

"UH… UH…." Firestar nervously glances at Sandstorm who death glares back. "ER…." He explodes. Now everyone in the audience begins running around screaming and panicking.

"AAHHH! ARRGGHHH! OMG! HOLY STARCLAN! OMSC!" everyone screams.

**CUT! TAKE TWO!**

"Er… ahaha…." Owlie nervously says…. "CINDERPELT! ANSWER YO QUESTION!" she orders.

Nodding, the cindery she-cat bounces onto stage. "Well, it's kind of awkward. You think you still have your leg but you don't. Like, your keg of a leg is attached to the legs' spirit. Ya…" she says trying to describe it.

"YES! I WAS HORRIFIED WHEN OAKHEART DIED!" Bluestar cries from the audience.

A few awws and oohhs rippled through the crowd.

"Um… Cheez?" Lionblaze says. A small light flashes and Tacos are the BEST gets their picture of Lionblaze. Congrats….!

"NEXT QUESTION!" Neiyo says trying to avoid the craziness of the after question.

"Right. This is from the anonymous reviewer of… the dreaded… Patchkit T.T," Jayfeather says annoyed. "Owlie really enjoys you reviews no matter how much I hate them."

**For Jay-jay (My Jayfeather nickname)**

Do you like being called Jay-jay?

Did you temporarily love Half-moon?

Are you in love with Poppyfrost?

Are you jealous of Berrynose?

Are you in love with Moonkitpawblazestar?

Do you love Lionblaze? (As a littermate)

Do you like peppermint?

Would you like this?:

Lionblaze: I hereby name Jayfeather Fluff-cloud.

Fluff-cloud: LITTER ATTACK!

*It rains cat litter*

Mosskit: MOONRAIN!

*It rains the moon*

Fluff-cloud: IT'S THE APOCOLAPSE!

Mosskit: I HEREBY WITH MY STARCLAN POWERS NAME YOU MOUSEBRAIN!

MOUSEBRAIN: *burns to a crisp*

Lionblaze: Claustraphobix!

"No. No. No. No. No. Yes because he is my littermate. No. No. And enough with the catnip!" Jayfeather growls.

"Well!" OwlCookies proclaims. "That was easy!"

"Yes," Jayfeather responds. "Thank you Patchkit for making almost all of the answers a no."

"BUT THAT'S BOORING BECAUSE I GET LESS WORDS! PATCHKIT! MAKE JAYFEATHER SAY YES AND NO!" the spazzy owl-girl grins.

"Wait…" Neiyo says.

"Mhhhmm…?"

"WHY DOES MOSSKIT GET TO NAME JAYFEATHER er… I mean… FLUFF-CLOUD?" Neiyo exclaims.

Jayfeather face palms but OwlCookies smiles. "THAT'S A GREAT QUESTION! Mind answering for us Patchkit?"

"Whatever!" the emo gray tabby groans. "The next question! PLEASE!"

"Sure sure," Owlie slyly grins.

"I have a bad feeling about that grin… Well ANYWAYS, the next question is from Oakshine."

**I love these questions! So um... here are a few:**

To Firestar: Have you ever noticed that you never go on any patrols or anything these moons?

To Scourge: Have you ever attempted to kill Ruby and Socks? If not do you want to kill them?

To Jayfeather: Do this that rock and stick would be a good couple?

To Heavystep: Are you sad that the Erins have killed you so many times and you haven't been to starclan yet?

To Hollyleaf: WHY WHY WHY DON'T YOU LOVE SOL JEEZ LOVE SOL OKAY HES SOOO COOL (sorry Sol haters =O)

To Tigerstar: don't you think Scourge is cute? I mean POOR SCOURGE.

To Shadepelt: DID YOU KNOW THAT YOUR MY FAV BACKGROUND CHARACTER? Why did you have to become an elder in like 4 books? Brambleclaw popped up about the same time as you and hes not even old yet!

To lionblaze: Do you regret hurting your own father in a battle?

And to the warriors: What do you think of the youtube videos all about you guys?

Sorry there is so many but these questions i have been desperate to ask for what feels like lifetimes.

"WAIT!" Owlie exclaims stopping everything.

Neiyo face palms. "Oh no. Please no. No one cares!"

"IT'S MY BIRTHDAY! SO I LIKE PROMISED, I SHALL POST THIS!" OwlCookies begins typing rapidly.

"I… I can't believe it takes you three days to finish this…." Jayfeather mutters.

The owl girl pauses and looks up. "Hey! Can't help having a lot of questios! So… while I type, please continue! And uh… we have about seven more long questions so please, let's wrap this up." She continues typing…

"I don't go on patrols much because…. Er… I dunno," Firestar shrugs.

Scourge thinks for a moment. "No, I don't believe I have. But gr… I wish I tried," he growls.

"Uhm… aren't Rock and the stick… the… same…?" Jayfeather asks.

"Yes…" Heavystep says. "Yes I am…" He frowns and walks away.

"I DON'T LOVE SOL BECAUSE HE ISN'T FROM THE CLAN AND I WOULD BE BREAKING THE WARRIOR CODE!" Hollyleaf screams dramatically.

"What the StarClan are you talking about? Scourge is not cute!" Tigerstar exclaims. Scourge snorts from the crows.

"You have to admit," the little black cat says. "I'm really cute." Tigerstar growls and stalks away.

"Uhm…. Wow…." Shadepelt says. "That means a lot."

"In a sense… I guess," Lionblaze says.

"It depends what they're about," Jayfeather snorts.

Darkstripe pouts. "There is a song that Tigerstar supposedly sings while calling me gay!"

"HAHAH! LIKE GAYFEATHER!" a random audience member shouts receiving a growl from Jayfeather.

"UGH! Don't you hate how you don't know if the I or the E comes first in a word?" OwlCookies exclaims stopping the growling.

"Er…." Neiyo says. "ANYWAY! The next question is from PianoGirl24!"

**Wow! I really like this! Now here are my questions:**

Jayfeather- Why so grumpy all the time?

Thornclaw- I've read in some Fanfiction's that you were mates with Hazeltail. Do you really like her? If you don't, do you like ANY she-cat?

Crowfeather- If you had to pick a she-cat to settle with, who would you pick out of these three; Feathertail, Leafpool, or Nightcloud?

Hollyleaf- HOLLYLEAF! I just want you to know that you're one of my favorite characters! If you had to pick Squirrelflight or Leafpool to be your mother, who would you pick?

Please answer all these questions! Thanks!

~Leafdapple

"Haven't I already answered this…?" Jayfeather looks back. "Ya… I did… So… I don't think I really need to answer this. THORNCLAW!"

"Not really. Those are just fanfictions. Not reality. Hm… Maybe I do like a she-cat," he shrugs. (A/N I don't know much about the background characters so sry if their OOC)

"UH… UH… UH… NOT NIGHTCLOUD!" the black cat exclaims quickly.

You can hear Nightcloud bawling in the audience. "I THOUGHT WE HAD SOMETHING SPECIAL!"

"Dream on," everyone else snorts.

"I… I… I really can't answer that question!" Crowfeather exclaims. "All I know, is that NOT Nightcloud."

Hollyleaf thinks for a moment while scowling when she thought of it. "Squirrelflight. _She_ didn't break the warrior code unlike Leafpool!" she spits.

"Harsh," Neiyo quietly says.

"Ok… The next question is from holy StarClan this person is a questionatic!" Jayfeather exclaims. Clearing his throat, he continues. "This dreaded question is from Elise the Amazing. I have to admit, you really are amazing considering all these question! By the way, Owlie's conscience says thank you."

**I loveth Jayfeather… but only as a sibling! He's too emo for me. Anyhoo, am I the only one here who gets creepy mental images when I hear about Jayfeather and his stick? My friend read this and wanted to write a fic about it so I whapped her wih my stick… it was fun! And I have some questions for Crowfeather, first:**

Why were you a horrible coward by being so mean to Leafpool? I hate you for it.

Which is your favorite of your children? And if you say Breezepelt, I will take my lamp and hunt you down.

And this is a dare:

I dare you to tell Leafpool you loveth her. Why? I am evvvviiiiilllll. :)

And for Firestar:

You do realize that Spottedleaf is a lot older than you, and a medicine cat, right?

And which is your favorite daughter? Leafpool is better. Obviously.

For Leafpool:

Why didn't you whap Crowfeather when he was being stupid?

And for my favorite, Jayfeather:

Am I the only one so far who is scared by JayfeatherXstick?

Which is your favorite sibling?

And you do realize Hollyleaf is horrible, right? I thinketh so.

For my least favorite cat EVER, Hollyleaf:

Why are you a physcopath?

Can I whap you?

And is it wrong that I giggled when you died and they were like NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! even though you are evil?

Over and out,

Happy Writing,

Elise

PS: Jayfeather, If you could be attacked by a gay vampire bunny or a bunch of Gothic Twinkies, which would you pick? And neither is not an option. Why? Both live inside my head. With Banks! Don't. Ask.

"Er… that's not a question and. WELL I'M SORRY FOR BEING A WINDCLAN CAT!" Crowfeather exclaims. "No, honestly, I have to say Breezepelt is not one of my favorite children. Probably Lionblaze." The black cat blushes insanely when he reads the dare. He tries to run away but is stopped by Owlie who is death glaring him.

Awkwardly, she looks out into the audience and is about to pass out. "I LOVE YOU LEAFPOOL!" he eeps and then runs away to Chuck Norris where Spiderleg and Firestar await.

"Yes I realize Spottedleaf is older than me and is a medicine cat. CAN'T I DREAM?" he whines ignoring Sandstorms angry glare. "Uh… uh… I don't know. They're both equally… cool…ish… despite the fact they disobeyed the warrior code," he chokes out.

"Because I… said so?" Leafpool offers. "You can't just whap other cats in a dramatic moment.

"No, I do not believe so. I hate those JayXStick so… welcome to the club!" he chirps. "My favorite sibling…? I'm sorry Hollyleaf, but you kinda freak me out, so I'd have to say Lionblaze. Plus, he's a tom like me."

"SEXIST!"Owlie exclaims.

"I do not realize she is horrible. I realize she is really freaky."

"I'M NOT A PSYCHOPATH!" Hollyleaf exclaims angrily. "I'M JUST FOLLOWING THE WARRIOR CODE!"

"Freak," OwlCookies snorts. (A/N sorry for u hollyleaf lovers out there)

"NO YOU MAY NOT WHAP ME! THAT'S NOT NICE!"

"It's wrong but so true!" Owlie exclaims butting Hollyleaf off the stage before she can preach the Warrior Code again.

Jayfeather shrugs. "Probably the gothic bunnies. They're more fluffier."

"Next question!" Neiyo exclaims. "Is from the anonymous reviewer of XxPieInYaFacexX." Her eyes open wide and begins sweating insanely. "I have a bad feeling about who this person is…"

**Questions for Jayfeather**

are you evil?

are you purple?

are you a unicorn?

do you like pie?

are you a pie?

have you ever had a pie in your face?

(throws pie) now you have!

do you know why my pen name is XxPieInYaFacexX?

if you don't then you have brain damage or short term memory loss.

did you know that i was your biggest fan?

LAST BUT NOT LEAST

did you know you were tigerstar's father?  
  
**(yes, random indeed)**

"I see what you mean…" Jayfeather says. "Why do I get a strong vibe saying that PieInYaFace is Patchkit?" he gulps. "Ok. This one is easy. No. No. No. No. No. No. Gr you for throwing the pie in my face. Yes. I can tell. No, I am not Tigerstars father so deal with it," he huffs in one breath. "There, that one's done."

"The next question is from Squirrelyluv," Neiyo announces.

**Brambleclaw: Why won't you forgi=ve Squirrely? IT WAS A MISTAKE! Gawd.**

Jayfeather: Do you have medacation?

Leafpool: Would you ever consider being a stuck up cheerleader?

Sandstorm: Can't you get over the past?

Firestar: Does Spottedleaf creep you out when she like... stalks you?

Nightcloud: WHAT THE HECK IS YOUR PROBLEM?

Breezepelt: WHAT THE HECK IS YOUR PROBLEM?

Leafpool: Did you know that your kits are pretty mestup?

Hollyleaf: Why are you obbsesed with the Warrior Code?

Lionblaze: Why are you so full of yourself?

Jayfeather: Why do you have anger issues?

Squirrelflight: Do you still love Brambleclaw?

"Because it broke the Warrior Code! Gawd!" Brambleclaw mimics.

"No, I do not have medication and don't wish to see any fanfictions stating that," Jayfeather sighs.

Leafpools eyes widen. "What? No! Why would I ever be a stuck up cheerleader?"

Owlie snorts. "Because that's your personality." (A/N sorry leafpool lovers)

"BECAUSE IT'S WHAT GLUES US TOGETHER! IT'S WHAT KEEPS THE CLANS TOGETHER! IT'S WHAT THE CLAN IS!" Hollyleaf answers screaming out again.

"Geez, cats these days. So religious!" Neiyo says rolling her eyes.

"I-I'm full of myself?" Lionblaze gasps.

"Because you're annoying," Jayfeather snorts.

"Yes. I still love Brambleclaw and I wish we could be mates again…" Squirrelflight confesses.

"Alright, almost done!" Jayfeather exclaims. "The next question is from Icefire of ShadowClan."

**Questions for Owlcookie: WHY THE HECK DON'T YOU LIKE HOLLYLEAF? SHE'S AWESOMEST OF THE AWESOME!**

Questions for Jayfeather: Um, you insist you don't love your stick but then why do you spend so much time with it? Are you ex-es from another lifetime?

Question for Lionblaze: Why did you lose so much character when you broke up with Heathertail?

for Spottedleaf: Why did YOU lose character when you joined StarClan?

For Sandstorm: Why did you get old and boring? You were my 2nd fav next to Bluestar in the 1st series.

OwlCookies pauses from her typing. "Cuz Hollyleaf is a whiney baby and I don't like characters like her. I'm sorry Appleblx, but ya, I just said my feelings right there! And sorry Icefire, I really just don't like Hollyleaf. But her eyes are pretty!"

"Because… it's a dramatic moment…?" Lionblaze offers.

"I don't know…" Spottedleaf admits.

Sandstorm gasps angrily. "I am NOT old and boring!"

"The next question is from Mothstar!" Jayfeather exclaims.

**No i don't think OwlCookies is a stupid name i just think it's random. Which isn't nessecarily bad! I AM RANDOMLADY! HERE ME ROAR! :P**

Anyway...

For Oakheart: Did you know that Thrushpelt had a giant crush on Bluestar? As in, he wanted to be her mate? And Mistystar and Stonefur were going to be his pretend kits?

To Mistystar: What happened to your kits? The ones that Graystripe and Firestar rescued in one of the original Warriors books?

To Feathertail: Were you in love with Stonefur?

To Hollyleaf: Did you love Mousewhisker?

To Bluestar: If you could pick your dead kit Mosskit's warrior name, what would you choose?

To Berrynose: Did you know that a lot of warrior fans hate you?

To Honeyfern and Poppyfrost: What do you find so lovable in Berrynose?

I love this!

"Hehehe… I'm random!" Owlie giggles.

"No…" Oakheart says.

"Foxdung!" OwlCookies spits angrily. "I didn't post this on my birthday! Well… today is the day after so… GAAAOWW!" she exclaims.

Neiyo pushes her into the next hole to the Dark Forest. "No one cares so go away."

"They… one of them died and the other one became Reedwhisker," Mistystar says.

Feathertail thinks for a moment. "Uh…" She is blushing insanely.

Neiyo snorts. "That answers the question."

"No..? I didn't love any one," Hollyleaf says.

"Hm… Moss…fur? Ya! Mossfur!" Bluestar chirps.

"What?" Berrynose gasps. "How can any hate _this_!" he exclaims.

Owlie pops out of nowhere trying to catch her breath. "Be…cuz… you're… conceited…" he huffs.

"BECAUSE HE'S AWESOME!" they both say in unison.

"And sexy," Honeyfern adds gaining a nod from Poppyfrost.

"Ew," OwlCookies mutters.

"And finally, the next question!" Jayfeather exclaims. "Is from the anonymous reviewer JayfeatherLover62!" He smirks. "I'm loveable just by being depressing."

**well i love this thing!**

jayfeather- i will not ask you about the stick personally i thought it was cool. my questions: does everybody annoy you? do i annoy you? why is the series so freakin long? if you werent a medicine cat would you love anybody? do you like cookies? what is your favorite cookie? if my cat were in your clan and you werent a medicine cat would you love her? do i annoy you now? do you secretly like me because im not saying you love the stick?

thats all. THANKS UPDATE SOON!;P

"Not everyone annoys me," the gray tabby confesses. "At the moment, you are not annoying me. This series as in the book? Because it's cool like that. This series as in this fanfiction? Because Owlie is cool like that. Hm… I probably would love someone. I do not like twoleg food. Enough said."

"CHOCOLATE MACADAMIA!" Firestar screams from the crowd.

"Wow Firestar," Jayfeather snorts. "You eat twoleg food. Well anyway… er… probably not. I don't even know your cat. Your cookie questions annoyed me. In a sense, I suppose I like you more than other because you aren't much of a spazz."

"OK! I HAVE TO GO NOW! BYE!" OwlCookies exclaims.

The stage light falls on Neiyo who speak through the microphone. "These last few days were brought to you by… OwlCookies' typing fingers. Without it, you would never even have read this genius fanfiction." Neiyo gives one last smirk and then the camera turns off.


	6. Chapter 6

This segment of Ask Jayfeather was brought to you by… THE JURASSIC PERIOD! Do not bring steak, eat steak, say steak, think steak, or attach steak to an 8 mile long stick. Please exercise before arriving… we want as little meat on you as possible…

"Alrighty!" OwlCookies exclaims clapping her hands together like Lord Death does in Soul Eater. "Chapter 6 of Ask Jayfeather! So many questions geez people these days O.o I'm amazed on how I got over five reviews in under a night… Well anyway! Let's begin!"

Taking that as a q, Neiyo cooly walks into the darkness of the audience. Moments later, she appears dragging a familiar gray tabby cat who is struggling to run away.

"Jayfeather!" Neiyo hisses. This only makes Jayfeather struggle more.

"NOOOO! YOUCAN'T MAKE MEEEEEEE!" he screams.

Sighing and shaking her head, OwlCookies snaps her fingers and both members of the anchor appear on stage with Jayfeather chained to the floor.

"ARGG! IT'S THE APOCALYPSE!" Jayfeather screams.

"Haha," Owlie scoffs. "I read that in the news. You know, about Japan n' all?"

Shrugging, Neiyo walks to the microphone stand. "Whatever, let's just start," she says.

"Okee dokee! The first question is from… Hazelstar of Sunclan!" OwlCookies exclaims.

**So Jayfeather, how does it feel being blind?**

"WHADYA THINK IT'S LIKE?" Jayfeather growls. "YOU CAN'T SEE A THING AND YOU TRIP OVER CATS' TAILS AND FALL INTO BRAMBLES!"

"Geez, someone got out of the wrong side of their nest today!" Neiyo scoffs.

Her only response is a growl.

"Well ANYWAY!" Owlie exclaims rolling her eyes. "The next question is from the famous anonymous reviewer… Patchkit!"

"INFAMOUS!" Jayfeather protests.

**(I accidentally reviewed before with my name half-spelled, don't include that)**

A few things:

Mosskit gets to name him because she is dead.

I am NOT PieInYaFace. We just have similar questions.

I will make it interesting with EASY MATH HOMEWORK!

Jay-Jay's math homework:

Julia ate 9 apples. She then threw seven at her brother, Derik. She started out with 16 apples. Is this possible? Explain.

18000000000000000000000000000

X 5

Lionblaze yelled "PIIIIIIEEEE!" Nine times. Mosskit yelled it 3 times. Firestar yelled it _ times. Do you have enough information to find out how many times it was yelled altogether? Explain.

Questions:

Why did you and Hollyleaf have yellow eyes on the original copy of "The Sight?"

Did you know your power is called (ironically, since you are blind) Sight in the novel "The Sight" was named after?

Am I a genius?

Do you think Hollyleaf is alive?

Can you eat braille?

Do you love Breezepelt as a half-brother?

Honestly, are you in love with Mistystar? (I know you are, c'mon, tell the truth Jay-Jay)

If you had a kit, would you name it Jaykit if it was a recarnation of you?

Do you accept the dare of telling Cinderheart she is Cinderpelt?

Did you know you didn't have to do the last one?

What is your favorite number?

Favorite color:

Favorite littermate:

Favorite song:

Favorite quote:

Favorite news station?

Favorite rock:

Do you love Leafpool as a mother?

"Wait… what…? Mosskit…? Ohh! I see," Jayfeather says. "No, a kit may NOT name me! That's not- Ugh! Nevermind!"

"Are you sure?" OwlCookies says. "The questions really genuflect the person." :3 "Hehe! Big words!"

"CATS. DON'T. DO. MATH," Jayfeather growls. "But fine, because Owlie might kill me if I don't, I'll answer your 'math' questions."

"Yes it's possible. 9 plus 7 equals 16 so if she originally had 16 apples, then ya. It's possible."

"90 and 27 zeros."

"No because you need to know how many times Firestar yelled. Without his, you would only know Lionblaze and Mosskits together but not Firestar."

"I have no idea O.o My eyes aren't yellow… they're blue…" Jayfeather explains. "No I did not know. Why would my power be called sight? I can't even see… No, I'm sorry to say, but you are NOT a genius. I cannot say. I wish she was alive. Braille is a form of words smart one, I can't eat it. No! Why would I love Breezepelt? Even as a brother! Earth to Patchkit, he tried to kill me."

"IF BREEZEPELT KILLS JAY-JAY, IMMA GO INTO THE WARRIORS WORLD AND SLAP HIM SILLY!" OwlCookies growls.

"Right…" Jayfeather says awkwardly.

AWKWARD MOMENT! XD

"Ok no. For the LAST TIME I am NOT IN LOVE WITH A SHE-CAT, A STICK, OR WITH ANYONE ELSE WHATSOEVER! No I would not name a kit Jaykit. I don't feel like telling Cinderheart. She already knows due to a few chapters ago," Jayfeather says.

"It's true!" Cinderheart calls from the crowd.

"None. Honestly, I like Lionblaze better. He's cooler. No offense Hollyleaf, but you're really freaky…"

"THE WARRIOR CODE IS GOD!" you hear Hollyleaf scream.

"Uh… See my point? None. None. None. None. Actually, yes. I guess I do love Leafpool as a mother…"

MORE AWKWARD MOMENT! XDDD

"Well, the next question is from the anonymous reviewer of… Tigerheart," Jayfeather announces.

**Oh, I know.**

Have you ever been in a Mary-Sue fic before? If so, what happened?

Do you like waffles?

How many times have you been OOC in badfics?

How many times have dead cats watched you while you sleep?

Did you know that Hollyleaf is supposedly alive according to every fan on the friggin' planet?

Have you ever lost The Game?

Is this review stupid?

Would you kill me if I said "Your mom"?

Do you particularly care about any of these questions?

Just thought I'd take a crack at this. Speaking of crack...JayXStick OTP FTW. *Is shot a million times*

~Tigerheart

P.S. No, not THAT Tigerheart.

"Mary sue fic? No, I don't believe I have. I've either been in another cats story as a background cat, spazzy me, or some other stupid thing," Jayfeather shrugs. "No I do not like waffles."

Firestar, Spiderleg, Ashfur, and Chuck Norris all appear on stage.

"I DOOOOOOOO!" Firestar exclaims. Then with a poof, they all disappear.

"I don't want to ask…" Neiyo and Jayfeather both say in unison.

"A LOT," Jayfeather cries. "Have you READ all those catnip ones? Like Owlie's other warriors story? Jayfeathers Catnip Adventures? It's insanity I tell you!" He starts to bawl in a corner but Neiyo pulls out a glove and whacks him with it.

"Get up!" she hisses.

Jayfeather sniffles. "I dunno how many dead cats watch me! Countless I suppose considering I'm part of the prophecy. Yes, I realize that many fans believe Hollyleaf is alive. Of course I've lost The Game! I just lost right now and you people probably did too!" he says nodding to the audience. In response, the growls and whisper among each other. "This review IS stupid. No I wouldn't kill you. I do not care about these questions and I probably wouldn't even put it into consideration. O—O Uhm… go ahead and run…"

"The next question is from Baddreams!" OwlCookies exclaims.

**For Jayfeather:How did you feel after you had to let Flametail die in the lake? And do you think you could have saved him? For Firestar:Do you know who your father even was? And did you know he has the same name as me in real life? o.O (wow T.M.I. o.o -runs away-)**

"I felt horrible! I wish I could save him but if I did… I would have died too…" Jayfeather solemnly says.

"I faintly remember… Wait. What's his name?" Firestar class after Baddreams who is running away. "Hey! At least run to Chuck Norris!"

"Right er… The next question is from Tanglestalker909," Neiyo says after crumpling up a piece of paper and chewing it up.

**great chapter as always!**

My questions:

to Jayfeather: how does it feel to finally be free of those strange JayXStick fanfics?

-can I have your autograph?

to Owlcookies: can I have an autograph? :)

to Firestar: how do you feel about us coming up with ways you could die?

-did you know that Tigerstar is training Warriors to be his minions?

to Tigerstar: how would you feel if Firestar died, but you were not the cause of his death?

"I will NEVER be free," Jayfeather sighs. "Sure… here's my autograph." He signs a piece of paper and gives it to Neiyo who hands it to Tanglestalker909.

"Sure!" OwlCookies exclaims happily signing a piece of paper. She then hands it to Tanglestalker.

"I think it's stupid," Firestar says quickly. "No I did not. BUT NOW CHUCK NORRIS SHALL KICK HIS BUTT!" he grins evilly and runs away to Chuck Norris.

"I would be very happy," Tigerstar says grinning happily.

Jayfeather cautiously backs away from Tigerstar. "Right… Well the next question is from… Elise the Amazing." He sighs. "The spazzes these days," he mutters darkly.

**I just, like, spazzed. You've never eaten a brownie? You poor, poor thing. It is the center of Earth, the reason to live! Poor, poor kitty.**

To Firestar: You can't always stay with Chuck Norris! You'll die and go to Starclan, were both she-cats will be waiting AND ticked! Joy!

How come you're not supposed to act like an oldie, but you do? I mean, you never CONTRIBUTE to your clan! Slacker….

Who is your least favorite cat in your family?

To Cloudtail, my second favorite cat:

How do you feel about your granddaughter being in denial about being totally head-over-heels for a Shadowclan warrior? Don't deny it, Dovepaw!

To Sandstorm:

What would you do if Spottedleaf made a move on Firestar. She would. Sorry, I'm a soulless hater, and LOVIN' IT!

To Spottedleaf:

I dare you to hit on Firestar. Still evil.

To Berrynose:

I hates you! Gollum hates you! THE GOTHIC TWINKIES HATE YOU!

Anyhoo, why are you so very full of yourself? Airhead. Wait… -grabs pin- we can fix that! -chases Berrypaw-

To Hollyleaf:

I dare you to elope with the Stick!

Evillllllllll… and amused am I!

To Jayfeather:

How do you feel with your creep-o sister and your ex-bestie eloping?

Why am I scaring myself?

What would happen if somebody gave you antidepressants?

What is it like to see only in your dreams? Is there even a word for that?

What would you pick between being booted out of the clans or being dead? In limbo?

Do you believe in ghosts, or are you smart?

What's your favorite band?

Do you have a crush on Hannah Montana? My friend thought so when I was trying to tell her about you and she misunderstood something I was trying to say….

Do you think she's an idiot too?

Am I annoying?

Do you care if I whap you with a lamp? -whaps-

I tried that on a warlock once in another Q&A fic and he turned it into chocolate…

Do you like chocolate?

What would happen if I locked you alone in a closet with… uh… BRITANY SPEARS?

"NOOOO! CHUCK NORRIS SHALL PROTECT MEEEEE!" Firestar exclaims. "Hey, I AM old! And the least favorite? Hm… Crowfeather and Breezepelt. If you don't mean them, probably Hollyleaf. She's freaky!"

"Wonderful," is Cloudtails only response.

"I WOULD KILL THEM BOTH," Sandstorm hisses.

"I don't feel like it," Spottedleaf yawns.

Berrynose is too distracted looking at himself in a mirror…

"NOOO! THAT'S AGAINST THE WARRIOR CODE!" Hollyleaf screeches.

"They can do that for all I care," Jayfeather snorts. "You're scaring yourself because you're scary. If you gave me antidepressants I would probably die. … I'd rather not answer this one… I would rather go to your house and slap some sense into you! I believe in ghosts because I can see them. Yes people, StarClan cats are ghost…"

"OOOHHH!"the crowd exclaims in awe.

"I have no favorite band. I DO NOT LIKE TWOLEGS. Yes. Yes. What the StarClan? Don't whap me! No I don't like chocolate because chocolate will kill me. I would dig a hole in the door and leave Britany Spears to go do what Brittany Spears' do…" Jayfeather says.

"Alright!" Neiyo says. "Next question is from the anonymous reviewer that Jayfeather likes… Jayfeatherlover62."

YAY! JAYFEATHER LIKES ME!

**my questions:**

Neiyo: how do you say your name?

Jayfeather: im a spaz you just dont know it. when is your b-day? if i got you a present what would you want? if you were a kittypet would you like me to be your owner? im sure my cat wouldnt mind much.

Firestar: do you and sandstorm ever visit skyclan?

leafpool and squirrelflight: did your parents ever tell you about skyclan?

Neiyo blinks. "Wow, never thought anyone would ask that. It's pronounced NAY(like the horse)-OH. And no, I'm not going to change the e to an a."

"My birthday day is the day I was born," Jayfeather says grinning mischeviously. "No I would not want your present seeing how I assume it would probably be a stick, twoleg food, or some other scary object. I would not want you to own me thank you very much."

Firestar thinks. "Nope," he says after that pause.

"No, I don't believe they have," Squirrelflight says while Leafpool nods.

"The next question is from Mothstar," Jayfeather announces.

**Yaaaaaay u updated! And happy birthday! Or late birthday! Or early birthday! Or whatever!**

To Thornclaw: Do you love ANY she-cats? At all?

To Sol: Can you hypnotize cats? Cuz u are really good at it.

To Jayfeather: I don't support JayxStick! I hate it! Does that make me one of your favorite Twolegs?

To Lionblaze: Some people think you love Icecloud! Do you?

Yaaaay!

"Thank you!" OwlCookies says flatteringly.

Thornclaw thinks for a moment. "Nope," he says.

"…wow…" Neiyo and OwlCookies both yawn in unison.

"No…" Sol says quietly. On the inside, of course we all know he can!

Jayfeather glares at Mothstar as if studying her…him…? I have no idea… "Maybe," he says making it a final statement.

"What? Who made THAT up? I love Cinderheart! How the heck did you people get ICECLOUD?" Lionblaze gasps.

"I KNOW RIGHT!" Icecloud calls from the audience. "HEY! ARE YOU SAYING I'M NOT PRETTY ENOUGH FOR YOU?" she growls.

"…Yes… Exactly," Lionblaze scoffs.

[CENSORED]

O_O "RIGHT…" OwlCookies interrupts while Neiyo tries to pry the two cats apart. "THE NEXT QUESTION IS FROM XxCandiSprinlzxX."

**Haha. I'm a girl with an acount. I was too lazy to sign in the other times.**

Jayfeather: Heehee. I like you. Do you like me now?

Briarlight: Hi. Do you like the pairing JayxBriar? I don't.

Jayfeather (again): Do YOU like JayxBriar?

Bye! Keep updating when you can, I like this.

"I realize you must like me," Jayfeather says rolling his eyes. "A LOT of twolegs do. I couldn't say whether I liked you or not. Maybe review a few more times."

"No," Briarlight confesses. "I don't either…"

"I DON'T LIKE ANY PAIRINGS THAT ENVOLVE ME! WHY CAN'T YOU PEOPLE UNDERSTAND?" Jayfeather cries.

"And FINALLY the last question!" OwlCookies says relieved. "Is from the anonymous reviewer… Goldestar!"

**I love this Chuck Norris thing! It's random and funny! Here are my questions.**

Owlcookies: Did you know that I check everyday to see if you updated this? Happy slightly late birthday!

Neiyo: I meant your fave cat, sorry I didn't specify. I know this sounds weird, but what does the room (that the show takes place in) look like? Make sure that you get all the details.

Hollyleaf: Did you know that you were my favorite cat in the original three?

Cloudtail and Brightheart: There's a song called A Friend in the World, and someone used it to make a video about you two. What do you think about that? (Owlie, I suggest you check it out so you know how to answer that. Google A Friend in the World cloudtail, and you should find it.)

Chuck Norris: Did you know that you rock?

Jayfeather: What is the most dangerous thing that you have cured in the clan?

"Wow!" OwlCookies says extremely happy. "True fans! I luff yous nao!" she chirps. "Thank kyuuu~" Yes… I realized that that was computer language and horrid grammar. Don't ask.

"Oh, I see," Neiyo says still trying to pry the two fighting cats apart. "Think of a comedy show. The stage is tan wood about 15 feet wide, 10 long, and about 3 feet tall. The curtains are black and kinda fuzzy. When you look at the stage, there are two black chairs toward the right side of the stage. When you look up, there are three light thingy things… those are the spotlights for the stage. On stage, you can't really see the audience, just a faint outline due to how dark we made it there. And uh… on the edges of the left and right side of the stage, there are stairs that have like… 4 steps. So… I think that's all. Oh wait! There is a microphone 1 foot before the edge of the stage," she informs. "Sorry if I missed and details, I'm trying to pull these two apart…"

"SINCE I FOLLOW THE WARRIOR CODE, I AM A GOOD CAT TO LIKE!" Hollyleaf exclaims.

"UGHH! YOU'RE SO ANNOYING!" OwlCookies growls covering her ears.

Cloudtail snorts. "I'm MUCH better than those pictures look like!"

"…Wow…" Brightheart says.

Chuck Norris just stands there vigilant.

"OF COURSE HE'S AWESOME!" everyone in the room exclaims. Owlie holds her thumbs up.

"Greencough? Briarlight being paralyzed?" Jayfeather suggests shrugging.

"And that concludes todays segment of ASK JAYFEATHER! Bye!" Owlie and Neiyo say. But… Neiyo's is less enthusiastic.

This chapter was brought to you by… that giant earthquake slash tsunami in Japan! Let's hope the apocalypse isn't real!


	7. Chapter 7

This segment of Ask Jayfeather was brought to you by… FACEBOOK! Where multiple people like to spam Owlie's wall!

"Dear StarClan!" OwlCookies exclaims almost fainting. "Three reviews in under an hour! I'm amazed…"

"Well don't faint on us now," Neiyo snorts.

"FAINT! FAINT! FAINT! FAINT!" Jayfeather chants.

Owlie scoffs. "Dream on my emo kitty."

"…Doesn't your friend at school say, 'my little chicken nugget'?" Neiyo asks.

OwlCookies nods. "… I'M NOT LITTLE OR SHORT!" she protests.

"I never said that."

"GGAAAOOOWW!"

"Enough with the arguments children," our famous exasperated cat says.

Neiyo and Owlie glare at each other and then spin around huffing.

"Oh StarClan, it's my turn to sane today," Jayfeather says rolling his eyes. "Well anyway, the first question of this hour is from Amberheart of windclan."

**Hi Jayfeather! You are awesome!**

Jayfeather: Did you like being Jay's wing?

What's it like being blind?

Did you ever want to be a warrior?

Hollyleaf: Did you ever like anyone? (other than your brothers)

How did it feel breaking the code before knowing your parents?

Cinderpelt: you are awesome! You are my favorite character!

Did you love Firestar or Fireheart or Littlecloud?(Choose one)

Mistystar: Do you remember mosskit?

THANK YOU

"Yes," Jayfeather snorts. "I know how awesome you people think I am. Did I like being Jay's Wing? Yes I did, no I did not. I couldn't really say. I mean like, I'm I wasn't Jay's Wing for a very long time so I can't really give you an answer. It's dark. When you're blind, it's dark. Of course I've wanted to be a warrior! I wanted to be one so bad! Despite my blindness, I trained with Brightheart, but in the end… I failed…"

"NO! THE WARRIOR CODE ALWAYS GOES FIRST!" Hollyleaf screeches. "IT WAS HORRIBLE! I THOUGHT I WAS GOING TO DIEEE!"

"Hah, serves you right for that tunnel accident," Owlie scoffs. (A/N sorry again to all you hollyleaf lovers)

"Uhm well, Firestar and Fireheart are the same cats. I can't say I loved any of them because Firestar was my mentor, but if I had to chose, I would probably pick Firestar," Cinderpelt says in Cinderhearts body.

"Mosskit…?" Mistystar asks blanky.

OwlCookies whispers into her ear. "Your littermate that died!"

"Oh! Mosskit! No, I'm sorry, I only have a faint memory…"

"Now for the next question!" Jayfeather announces. "It is from XxCandiSprinklzxX."

**YAAY! JAYFEATHER MIGHT LIKE ME!**

Jayfeather: Heehee. You LOVE your stick. Proof is right tere in Fading Echoes. DON'T DENY IT! But the actual question is... What would you do if you met me in person? Do you think sheep are fluffy?

OwlCookies: Have you ever gone on a fangirl rampage?

Neiyo: Are you ever not serious?

Everyone: Are you praying for the people in Japan? I am!

"I WILL deny it!" Jayfeather growls. "If I met you in person, I would walk away. Sheeps are not fluffy. Don't touch them, you don't want to touch them." He shudders remembering the time Lionblaze had dared him to touch a sheep.

"_Hey! Jayfeather!" Lionblaze exclaimed._

_The gray tabby looks up from sorting his herbs. "Mhhat Moo Mu Mant?" he asks with a mouthful of herbs._

"_What…?" _

_Jayfeather drops his pile of herbs. "What do you want?" he repeats._

"_Oh… Hey, I dare you to go over to WindClan and touch the sheep! I-If you don't, I'm telling Hollyleaf you had a mate from ShadowClan!"_

"_WHAT? NOT HOLLYLEAF! Fine, I'll do it."_

_-AT WINDCLAN-_

_Jayfeather cautiously walks up to a sheep that is grazing quietly. Quickly, he pokes it a bit too hard. Immediately, the sheep raises it's back legs and kicks Jayfeather into the lake…_

"Wow. It's amazing what sheeps can do O.o" Owlie says. "Oh! My question! Fangirl rampage? Not for Jayfeather, no. I've gone on a fangirl rampage for these two anime guys from FullMetal Alchemist. They're hawt…" she says dreamily looking up.

"Er… wow. Let's pretend she NEVER said that," Neiyo says backing away slowly. "And am I ever not serious? I dunno, maybe. Maybe not."

"Oh! I like that last question!" OwlCookies says.

"WE ALL HOPE THE PEOPLE IN JAPAN ARE OK!" everyone in the audience calls.

"I especially hope that guy who was watching cars and boats flow around in the flood waters on the bridge, did not fall in. Seriously! Have you seen that video? There was this guy leaning over the bridge just to look at all the boats and cars floating around! It's hilarious!" Owlie laughs.

"Ya. Er.. Next question is from NerdPrincess101," Jayfeather says.

**eh... i'm actually Jayfeatherlover62... I was just being lazy...**

Owlcookies- did you know that you are awesome and i love all your stories? I'm in the middle of catching up on the Soul Eater one. Kuromi's awesome!

Neiyo- Thanks! I've been trying to figure that out.

Jayfeather- Do you still like me? I'll cry if you say no. Who is your favorite cat? Best friend? Favorite food? Would you be willing to call me your friend? What if my present was a week of being able to see?

Chuck Norris- HI! Can I have your autograph? Get a picture?

Cloudtail- YOU. ARE. AWESOME. Right below Jayfeather! Do you miss your mother? Do you remember her? I dare you to take Brightheart to meet her. Also, do YOU like me?

Firestar- Does Chuck Norris feed you cookies? Is that why you are suddenly so hyper? Do YOU like my cat? She's white with a raccoon-like tail and she's a year old and she is awesome and loving! Her name is Duchess!

Sandstorm- Will you be jealous if Firestar likes my cat? Even though she's WAY younger?

Hollyleaf- you scare me. I hope you stay dead.

Wow, that's a lot huh? Sorry about that! Update soon!

"OMG I FEEL LOVED! PEOPLE ACTUALLY READ MY SOUL EATER FANFICTION BESIDES APPLEBLX AND RED WEASEL CHAN! xD" OwlCookies exclaims happily.

"Right…" Neiyo says. "And uh… you're welcome."

"Maybe," Jayfeather says. "My favorite cat, I seriously swear I already answered that. Please people! Ask new questions! I don't want to keep repeating answers over and over again! Best friend… pass. Favorite food… pass. No, I would not consider you my friend. I don't even know you! If your present was a week of being able to see, maybe I could…" he pauses looking up and grinning evilly like Owlie's Chesire Cat Grin.

"HEY!" OwlCookies growls.

Chuck Norris remains silent but he gets a picture of himself and signs it, then he gives it to Firestar who cautiously gives it to NerdPrincess101.

"My… mother…?" Cloudtail asks trying to remember who his real mother was. "Nope sorry, can't remember. No, like Jayfeather said, we don't know you."

"CHUCK NORRIS GIVES ME WHITE CHOCOLATE MACADAMIA!" Firestar exclaims with shiny eyes. His man sparkles then cease when Sandstorm angrily glares at him about the next question. "P…Psht no! S… Sandstorms the only she-cat for me!" he says lyingly and not very convinicing.

"If he loves your cat," Sandstorm says unsheathing her claw, "some cat will die." She begins glaring daggers at Firestar who is using Chuck Norris to hide him.

"I DESERVE TO DIE! MY BIRTH BROKE THE WARRIOR CODE!" Hollyleaf screams.

"StarClan save me from Hookyleaf!" Owlie screams terrified.

"WELL THEN!" Jayfeather cries trying to change the subject. "THE NEXT QUESTION IS FROM…" Drumroll. "Fanfictionfan0106!"

**TO Jayfeather: Um...Would you give your life protecting your own brother and sister?**

"My brother of course! But… I may hesitate with my sister… In case you haven't noticed, she's kind of-"

"HOW DARE YOU! THE WARRIOR CODE STATES THAT YOU MUST PROTECT ME!" Hollyleaf growls.

"DUDE! I mean.. dude…ette..? I'm a medicine cat! The Warrior Code doesn't apply to me!" Jayfeather retorts.

"And the next question is from k… Wait no… That's just a comment," Neiyo says. "The next question is from the anonymous reviewer, Red Rose of Love!"

**Yay Yay Yay! HipHip Hooray!**

I have been dying to know:

Brightheart- Do you secretly want to kill Firestar? We all know you do. Admit it! You want revenge!

Lionblaze- When Hollyleaf was still alive and assumed the third cat in the prophecy, what did the three of you think her power was.

Jayfeather- Do you know how lame you are sometimes? Yes, I said it! Jayfeather is L-A-M-E!

Feathertail- Why do you still hang around with the tribe cats instead of the other Starclan cats?

Hollyleaf- Are you dead?

Graystripe- Why haven't you killed Brambleclaw yet? We all know you want to.

Firestar- You used to be SOOOO COOL! WHAT HAPPENED?

Breezepelt- Are you really so stuck up and snobby all the time? Why don't you take a chill pill?

Cody- Why didn't you stay with Thunderclan? You fit in so perfectly!

Snowkit- Did you die? Can you even hear my question? Hello? You there?

STonefur/Brook- WHY? WHYWHYWHY? You should have stayed with the clans! I was so sad you went back to the tribe!

Thank you for your time! NOW ANSWER MY QUESTIONS!

"W…WHAT!" Brightheart exclaims. "Why would I want to kill me leader? He's…. he's my leader!"

"Er…" Lionblaze ponders for a moment. LOL who says ponder these days? "….You know… that never crossed my mind." O_O

"Cough cough stupid cough cough," Jayfeather smirks.

"Shut up!" Lionblaze growls.

"Of course I'm lame, If I wasn't , I would be a Gary Stu," Jayfeather simply remarks.

"…Because…" Feathertail says quietly.

"[CENSORED] DEAD!" Hollyleaf screams her usual annoying scream.

"I DON'T WANNA KILL BRAMBLECLAW!" Graystripe screams annoyed. "Look people, none of us wants to kill our leader of deputy," he huffs.

"I turned into a Gary Stu," Firestar admits.

"Because I felt like it," Cody snorts. (A/N DUDE O_O WHO'S CODY?)

(A/N AND WHO'S SNOWKIT?)

Snowkit is there but an awkward breeze blows across the stage dragging a ragweed with it…

"Because I'm a tribe cat, not a clan cat," Brook sighs softly.

Stormfur nods. "And I have to stay with her."

"And for the next question!" Owlie chirps. "Is from Hazelstar of Sunclan!"

For Jayfeather: I heard that Lionblaze is protcetive of you and Hollyleaf. Is that True?

**-**

For Jayfeather: Does being blind give you any speical treatment?

-

For Owlie: Who is your BIGGEST crush in the whole wide world?

-

For Owlie: Do you hate kittypets?

-

For Neiyo: Do you like Jayfeather as a friend or a brother?

-

For Neiyo: Do you like Owlie as a friend or as a sister?

"Being blind gives me annoying treatment," Jayfeather huffs.

Owlie blinks. "Hm… At the moment, no human boy is nice and cute enough for me to have a crush on. Cat… anime? I dunno. I DO NOT HATE KITTYPETS! I WANTED TO HAVE A KITTEH FOR MY BIRTHDAY BUT NOOOO! I GOT A DOG! But that's harsh, my dog is actually really smart ^.^"

"Jayfeather's an emo, annoying, and depressing cat," Neiyo says. "And Owlie is an annoying spazz."

"It's true!" OwlCookies chirps. "Oh! There's a question here from Hazelstar of Sunclan Offline."

**Oh yeah and in my question "how does it feel being blind" you didn't have to get mad! I just don't know what it's like! Oh yeah and I really just wanted to know what it's like!**

"Wait.. nevermind… that wasn't a question O_O" Owlie mutters.

"Genius," Neiyo scoffs.

"Well THIS ONE," Jayfeather sighs dramatically. "Is from our normal, Patchkit."

**I AM NOT PieInYaFace!**

Jay-Jay's math homework:

Two times two times two times two times two.

Moonflower at 5 cookies. Firestar ate 3 doughnuts. Lionblaze at 6 cookies. Bluestar ate 7 French fries. How many cookies were eaten altogether?

Ferncloud had 7 kits. Then she had 99999. How many did she have in all?

Question to Jayfeather:

How do you feel about the Japan Earthquake?

What would you do if the lake turned to blood?

Are you green?

Are you a small gray tabby with blind blue eyes?

Did you know we had the same eye color?

What is your favorite type of pie? (None is not an option)

What she-cat (or stick) do you like? (Must chose one)

Jayfeather sighs. "More math work, great. It's 32. 11 cookies were eaten all together. Daisy has 100006 kits. Now for the questions. Japan? Who's Japan?"

"Japan is a country in Asia! They just recently had this 8.9 earthquake and it shook them so much there was a huge Tsunami that killed multiple people and then the Tsunami rushed to Hawaii and California bay! Then… when I heard about it… I started freaking out and Appleblx had to calm me down saying that we aren't that close to the shore!"

"Ok. I feel… nothing. You may think that's mean, but it's not me there so I wouldn't know. I mean like, I feel bad for them n' all and I hope they don't all die out but, seriously, I don't feel much." Jayfeather then groans. "Now for the stupid questions. If the lake turned to blood, I wouldn't go near it. I am not green. Yes I am a small gray tabby with blind blue eyes. No I did not. None WILL be an option because I have never tried pie. The she-cat I like… hm… Hollyleaf is the best she-cat because even though she freaks me out she's my sister. NEXT QUESTION."

"…Is from… the anonymous reviewer Goldenstar!" Owlie finishes.

**A double update with all my questions answered in both! Yay yay yay! Questions are below:**

Owlcookies: Why did you do a double update? How old do you think I am? (make it practical, and I won't tell you the real answer!)

Neiyo: Is it creepy that I had almost the exact same picture (of the room) in my head? How old do you think I am? Make it practical!

Firestar: Aren't warriors supposed to depend on themselves and not twolegs like Chuck Norris? Does this mean you're going to turn into a kittypet again?

Cloudtail and Brightheart: Okay, I can see that you have mixed reactions on the vid, but what do you think about the song?

Hollyleaf: Are you really dead?

Tigerstar: If I guaranteed success in the battle against the clan, would you become a kittypet on a twoleg farm?

Blackstar: Is there any she-cat (in any clan, Starclan, or the Dark Forest) that you could fall in love, mate, and have kits with?

Jayfeather: Tell me the area of a triangle with a base of 12 inches and a height of 5 inches. Also, do you think that Briarlight will live to be as old as Mousefur as older?

"I did a double update because… I can…?" Owlie answers not really sure. "I can't remember. Sorry, I don't have a good memory. I think you're… 12…? I dunno."

"Maybe because Theiving Alchemist(Owlie) did a good job of describing?" Neiyo says. "I have to agree with Owlie, you're probably around 12."

"BUT CHUCK NORRIS ISN'T A TWOLEG! HE'S LIKE… EVERYTHING STARCLAN WANTS TO BE!" Firestar exclaims.

"…_its true_….!" StarClan exclaims.

"I think the song is old," Neiyo scoffs.

"Uh…." Cloudtail and Brightheart both say in unison. "Dot…dot…dot… no comment…"

"PLEASE PEOPLE! STOP ASKING HOLLYLEAF!" Owlie exclaims. "This question has been asked like 5 times! Ew… make that 4. I hate the number 5."

"No," Tigerstar immediately says.

"Probably not," Blackstar shrugs.

"HEARTLESS!" OwlCookies laughs evilly. "UGH! WHAT'S THE POINT IN ALGEBRA? IT'S NOT LIKE WE'RE GOING TO NEED IT FOR EVERY DAY LIFE! JUST GET A FRIGGIN TAPE MEASURE! Whatever. Answer it for us Jayfeather."

"The area of the triangle is 30," Jayfeather says.

Owlie scoffs. "You're lucky I'm in algebra. Without me, you'd never know the answer."

"I hope Briarlight does. She has to keep fighting."

"The next question is from Baddreams," Neiyo says.

**-Well Firestar his name is Jake. ^.^; -Jayfeather whats your favorite peace of freash kill? (Wow i need to come up with a better question.-is thinking- )**

"Yes. You really need to. Fine if you people are so desperate to know what my favorite food is, I'll tell you! I like voles ok? I like voles!" Jayfeather confesses.

"lol I don't even know what a vole is ^.^" Owlie chirps. "No people. Shut up. Don't call me stupid just because I don't know what the heck a vole is."

"The next question is from fallenshadow962," Jayfeather says.

**Hey everybody, QUESTION TIME! :D**

To spidey:

How do you feel about a SpiderXSquirrel fic? (Be honest with me...)

Do you miss Shrewpaw?

Do you care about Icecloud, Foxleap and Birchfall?

Do you know that I'm probably your only fan?

DO YOU LIKE ME?

To Chuck norris.

Did you know that if you so much a touch a hair on spideys pelt I'll mangle you?

To Jayfeather:

Have you ever been stalked?

Who is your favourite out of Owlcookies and Neiyo?

to Cinderpelt

Can you touch Cinderheart? Because this whole two of ya thing is getting me REALLY confused. And I don't confuse easy.

Bramblesnore: (not much of a fan...)

How would you feel If Squirrelflight fell in love and had another toms kits?

And Heatherfail: (Once again. Not a fan.)

How does it feel to be REGECTED by Lionblaze?

do you even remotly like Breezepelt?

That is all. KEEP ON TRUCKING EVERYBODY!

"No! I don't like it!" Spiderleg says. "Noooo! Don't remind me of Shrewpaw! AHH! OMG IT'S HIS GHOST!"

Owlie whacks him. "CALM DOWN MAN!"

Spiderleg whimpers but continues. "Uh… no comment. Ya, considering no one else besides you is asking me a question, you're probably my only fan. Since you're my only known fan, sure, I like you!"

Chuck Norris stays silent.

"Yes I've been stalked by many cats. Alive and dead. Cough cough Yellowfang and Spottedleaf cough cough Breezepelt cough cough," Jayfeather coughs. LOL COUGH.

"NO MY SQUIRRELY!" Brambleclaw screams in agony.

"Wow…" the audience whispers in awe.

"SHUT UP! I WASN'T REJECTED!" Heatherfail growls. "AND I'M NOT HEATHERFAIL!"

"Ya you are," multiple people from the crowd say.

"Breezepelts a stalker. Ew," HeatherFAIL XD spits and walks away. Well… more like storms away.

"The next question is from Mothstar," Jayfeather announces. The crowd begins clapping.

**Yaaaay I love this! LOL it is sooo very funny!**

To OwlCookies: You probably like Chuck Norris, right?

To Hollyleaf: Oh my whiskers why the heck are you so obsessed with the warrior code? Even when you're OOC you're still obsessed!

To Heathertail: Do you actually love Breezepelt? WHO ON EARTH COULD LOVE HIM SAVE HIS MOTHER?

To Breezepelt: Why are you possesive of Heathertail?

To Nightcloud: Why are you so possesive of Breezepelt?

To everybody: Why are there always lots of insane cats in all the Clans? Hollyleaf, Crowfeather, Breezepelt, Hawkfrost, Tigerstar...the list goes on and on.

Oh, and I am a GIRL! A thirteen year old girl whose name is none of your beeswax.

"To be honest, I didn't know who Chuck Norris was until I saw a picture of him. To this day, I don't even know the full extent of his 'awesomeness'," Owlie confesses.

(A/N hollyleaf is funny wens shes ooc xD) "BECAUSE THE WARRIOR CODE IS EVERYTHING AND KEEPS THE CLANS TOGETHER!"

"No," HeatherFAIL simply says. "And stop calling me Heatherfail!"

"But it's funny!"

"Because Heathertail is… awesome?" Breezepelt replies.

"BREEZEPELT IS MY KIT!" Nightcloud exclaims.

"Because Erin Hunter says so," everyone replies.

OwlCookies shrugs. "I honestly didn't care about your age and name. But ok."

"The last and final question of the segment is from 9peggy," Jayfeather announces happily.

**This thing is so genius! I love it! I'll try to keep my Q's to a minimum…**

To Jayfeather: The whole JayXStick thing is just plain creepy….and no, I'm not just saying that so you don't find me annoying. And I don't think your emo; just frustrated. (?)

To Firestar, Ashfur, and Spiderleg: What's with the Chuck Morris thing with you guy's? He's not THAT awesome…..

To Hollyleaf: How would you feel if some one literally broke the Warrior Code in two? And, did it hurt when you died? Because that would be great if it did. (Sorry Hollyleaf lovers)

To Sandstorm: What made you change your personality through the first series? At first you were a brat, but now you're one of my favorite characters.

And finally, To OwlCookies: Just thought I should say, I think your user name is cool! It's so random!

"Is this even a question…?" Jayfeather asks confused.

Firestar, Ashfur, and Spiderleg growls. "He's totally cool."

"I WOULD HAUNT THEM FROM STARCLAN!"

"I doubt you'd be sent to StarClan," Owlie scoffs. (A/N sorry u hollyleaf lovers)

Sandstorm shrugs. "Age…? Erin Hunter…?"

"YAY! I'M COOL! SEE PEOPLE? I'M SO TOTALLY AWESOME AND I'M SO GONNA BE THE NEXT BILL GATES! YOU WATCH ME JENNA! I'M GONNA BE THE NEXT BILL GATES!" Owlie exclaims.

The crew has to drag her away while she rants about how awesome she is.

"Well then," Neiyo says. "This chapter of Ask Jayfeather was brought to you by… Hi Chews. The bestest candy Owlie has ever tasted."


	8. Chapter 8

OwlCookies angrily storms onto the stage, grabs the microphone and hisses into it grabbing everyones attentions and utterly scarring them. "STOP COPYING MY STORY! GEEZ PEOPLE! WHAT IS IT WITH YOU AND COPYING ME? Okay really, Swanstream copied me but she had a contest with hers, but this new person, Blackpoppy 101, that person copied my idea and even had the SAME. FRIGGIN. TITLE. Come on people! Be original! Don't make ANOTHER ask Jayfeather! Make an ask Leafpool or something! GREAT STARCLAN IT'S SO ANNOYIN!"

Neiyo sighs. "Blackpoppy, if you are reading this, Owlie is very mad at you and even more madder than Swanstream because out of the blue, your Ask Jayfeather came. She means no offense to what she says because she doesn't like it when people steal her ideas without giving her credit. Right. Now let's continue after that note…."

"Alright…" Jayfeather sighs. "The first question is from Elise the Amazing."

**I'm not a chicken nugget... My bestie calls me I call her bloodsucker. Fun, right?**

Holleyfeather: -hits with lamp to give temporary amnesia- now how do you feel? Still obsessive? And do you have OCD or something? Sometimes I think you might... sometimes I think I might... And what would happen I locked you in a closet with a warrior from another clan then told every other cat and showed them evidence? Also, did you go crazy because YOU were somehow in love with the stick (which you met in that dream with the rabid rainbow llama-corn riding penguins) but then the stick left you for Jayfeather, who rejected it? I'm tired. I also have absolutely no idea where I got the llama-corns from. But now I want one. :D :D :D :D

"Great fun!" Owlie grins cheesily.

Hollyleaf cannot answer. She has a concussion…

"MWAHAHAH! IT'S WHAT YOU DESERVE!" OwlCookies exclaims evilly. (A/N sorry to you Hollyleaf lovers)

Jayfeather blinks queasily. But obviously we all know inside his head, he's cheering. "Short question," he says. "The next question is from Baddreams. Why did this person post their comment twice? I dunno…"

**Okay this one is for Smokefoot How are you alive? o.O you died in the 3rd book in the 2nd series page 278.**

"Er… another Smokefoot?" Smokefoot nervously suggests.

"WOW! SHORT QUESTIONS! IT MAKES ME FEEL HAPPY!" Jayfeather smirks. "Well the next question is from the anonymous reviewer Shimmertail."

**Hey, Jayfeather!**

To Jayfeather: Do you think Hollyleaf could have survived the tunnels?

To Tigerstar: Is there anything you regret doing in your life (besides fathering Brambleclaw, ha) in your quest for power. I was personally rooting for you over Fairystar, but is there anything you look back on and wish you hadn't done? You're my favorite character!

To Jayfeather: What is blackcough? I've heard it mentioned twice in the series.

To OwlCookies: Who in the Warriors series do you fangirl besides Jayfeather?

To Breezepelt: If you could have your pick of any cat to kill without having to suffer any consequences, who would you pick?

"Do I think Hollyleaf survived the tunnels? I doubt it but I wish she had. Then… WAIT NO! I WISH SHE DIDN'T! SHE WAS FREAKY!" Jayfeather exclaims drastically.

"I do not regret fathering Brambleclaw," Tigerstar snorts. "He was my favorite kit besides Hawkfrost." He pauses for a moment. "I wish that I didn't completely trust Scourge."

"Black cough?" Jayfeather asks confused. "I've never heard of it," he confesses. "I'll tell you more when I go through a bout of one."

"Hm…" OwlCookies mutters sticking her tongue out slightly and thinking. "I cried when Flametail died. I wanted to buy the book which had Scourge in it. And I just LOVE Whitestorm! Those are my other favorite characters!" she happily chirps.

"Oh that's a lovely question!" Breezepelt says happily. "There are so many choices out there I can't choose! I'll just give you my list. There's my horrid and overprotective mother, Nightcloud, my father Crowfeather, there's my Warrior Code broken half-brothers Lionblaze and Jayfeather! Ugh I HATE Jayfeather! There are so many more I want to kill, but let's just leave it at that…" The evil kitty licks his lips evilly.

"Vicious," Neiyo snorts.

"I'm scared," Jayfeather shudders. "Uh.. on a much _ lighter_ topic, the next question is from the anonymous reviewer Shingingstar622."

**Yay! Hi Chews are awesome! now for my questions:**

Jayfeather: No offense, but you are kinda boring and crabby. Like an elder. (sorry, Jay fans!) Why are you so crabby?

Deadfoot: Hi! I am a big fan, but idk why! Did you know there are only 2 fanfictions about you? Are you Crowfeather's dad? Were you born Deadfoot?

Crowfeather: Why are you so angry? Who is your dad? Do you REALLY love Nightcloud and Breezepelt? Did you know you had a dead bro named Eaglekit?

Ashfoot: Who is your mate? What happened to Eaglekit?

Eaglekit: WTF happened to you?

Rowanclaw: WHY THE HECK DID YOU TURN INTO A TOM?

Tawnypelt: Did you know your mate used to be a shecat? Did you know Tigerheart trains in the Dark Forest?

Sorry that was so long!

"I AM NOT CRABBY!" Jayfeather snaps angrily.

Owlie scoffs. "Crabby. That's a genius way to describe him."

"I'M NOT CRABBY!" the crabby and emo cat repeats.

"F-F-F-FAIL!" OwlCookies once again scoffs.

"No, I'm not Crowfeathers dad. And sure, I was born Deadfoot," he rasps.

"I'm angry because I'm WindClan durr hurr hurrr! All WindClan cats are like this! You're making me angry just talk to you! Go away!" Crowfeather growls.

"NO! DON'T GO YET PUNK!" Owlie exclaims waving her arms around trying to get the emo cat to stay.

"WHAT?" he snaps.

"Answer the rest of your questions!"

"FINE!" Growling, he continues. "I don't know who my dad was. And NO I don't really love Nightcloud. Every cat I loved somehow died or got hurt so I wanted to do the same to annoying Nightcloud. BUT. IT'S. NOT. WORKING. AND. SHE. WON'T. GET. OFF. MY. FUR!" He screams glaring at the black fluff attached right next to him.

"MY CROWY!" Nightcloud screeches.

O_o "I didn't think you meant it literally…" both Neiyo and Owlie say in unison.

"No I didn't know I had a dead brother named Eaglekit. But I'm glad he's dead. He probably deserved it," Breezepelt laughs evilly with a smug smile. (A/N I finally learned what smug meant!)

"My mate…" Ashfoot begins. "Honestly… I somehow can't remember…"

"That was useful," Owlie and Crowfeather scoff.

"I EXPLODED!" Eaglekit exclaims sarcastically.

"…" Roawnclaw turns to a shade of red. "I have the power to change genders…."

There is an awkward silence that rippled through the crowd. So quiet, a slight breeze blows across the stage carrying ragweed with it…

"ANYWHOO!" Owlie interrupts.

"Yes. As of now I learned my mate was a she-cat and now I'm scarred… And WHAT? TIGERHEART?" Tawnypelt answers.

"NEXT QUESTION!" Jayfeather exclaims changing the mood. "Is from fallenshadow962."

**OMG! YAY YAY YAY!**

Spiderleg:

Do you think Erin hunter will make you fight for the dark forest?

and WHAT was with the idiodic slip up in sunrise when you tell the deputy all about you sneaky plan to invade windclan? Talk about stupid mistake...

Heatherfail:(Thx for usin that! :D)

did you know that its... LIONXCINDER ALL THE WAY!

Are you a lionblaze stalker?

Are you going to go to the darkforest? I think you should. BE WITH THE LOSERS WHERE YOU BELONG!

Ivypaw:

W.T.H? Ok your visited in your dreams by an unknown dead cat and you find out his name. Don't you think that you might ASK who he was. Geeze!

That is all resume your awsome fanfiction.

"Psssht! I doubt it!" Spiderleg scoffs. "Uhm… haha… about that…" quietly and quickly, he sneaks away back to Chuck Norris.

"I'M NOT HEATHERFAIL! I do NOT stalk Lionblaze! I… I just check up on him! NO! I'M NOT GOING TO THE DARK FOREST! AND I'M NOT A LOSER!" Heatherfail screams.

"ADMIT IT! ADMIT IT! ADMIT IT! ADMIT IT!" OwlCookies chants.

"IT'S NOT TRUE!" Heatherfail growls. "AND STOP CALLING ME HEATHERFAIL!"

"Because I have no common sense," Ivypaw says blowing bubbles with those old cigar thingies.

"Wow… MAJOR fail…" Neiyo mutters.

"And the NEXT question is from the anonymous reviewer…. Goldenstar!" Owlie chirps.

**...Okay, I'll admit it, Neiyo and Owlie. You two are right about my age. Creepy. You two get homemade chocolate chip and peanut butter cookies for guessing right. Since the Chuck Norris bunch apparently get cookies, I made extra for them.**

Owlie (aka Thieving Alchemist): I love your profile! It's so funny!

Neiyo: What do mean by 'the song is old'?

Firestar: ...He's still a twoleg. And again, are you going to be Chuck Norris's kittypet?

Cloudtail and Brightheart: Okay, you two are going to be my guinea pigs. Check out this song and tell me what you think: The Motions by Matthew West. (Note: This one isn't about you two.)

Tigerstar: Okay...If I guaranteed success in the battle against the clans, what would you do for me?

Blackstar: Ah. If you had to choose one of Rowanclaw's kits (Tigereart or Dawnpelt) to be deputy, which would it be and why?

Jayfeather: Yeah, we just learned that area of a triangle thing, and it's so freaking easy, but three-fourths of my class doesn't get it/can't do it! Anyway, question. Whose dreams do you walk in the most? Are there any dreams that you wish you hadn't seen?

O_O "WOW REALLY?" Owlie and Neiyo both exclaims shocked and in unison. "And yayz! Cookies!" OwlCookies grins.

"Thank kyu…? My profiles funny? Really? I feel LUFFED!"

"The song is old like… it sounds like country music I guess," Neiyo shrugs.

"HE'S COOLER THAN A TWOLEG! And uh…uh.. uh…." Firestar stammers after seeing Sandstorms glare. "Pshhht no! Never!"

"No," Cloudtail immediately snaps. "Uh…" Brighthears begins but is silenced by Cloudtail.

"Hmm… I would probably kill you," Tigerstar replies licking his lips evilly.

"I would have chosen Tigerheart, but since he is training with the dark forest, I chose Dawnpelt," Blackstar explains.

"Uh…. I lost count. Probably a medicine cat though, they have more useful dreams," Jayfeather shrugs.

Neiyo grabs the mic. "And the next question is from NerdPrincess101."

**Yay! You updated!**

Jayfeather- I can take a maybe. PASS ISN'T AN ANSWER YOU KNOW! Well then. OK! -magic fairy appears and grant Jayfeather a week of sight- THANKS FAIRY! Do you like me NOW?

Cloudtail- Your mother was Princess if I am not mistaken. LOOK THERE SHE IS! -points randomly off towards Princess-

Chuck Norris- Thanks. -draws devil horns on the picture and runs away-

Firestar- Hey, what's with the stuttering? Sounds like you aren't too sure about that. Well, good for you. I suppose white chocolate macadamia is very good. If I kidnap Chuck Norris will you have a spazz attack?

Spiderleg and Ashfur- Ssame question for you two.

Sandstorm- How do you feel about Chuck Norris stealing Firestar from you? Would you join him? Also, didn't you and Dustpelt have a thing in the first part of the series? What happened with that?

Hollyleaf- Yes. Yes, you do. Now go and crawl back in the tunnel where you died.

Owlcookies- OF COURSE I READ IT! I LOVE IT! YOU ARE AN AWESOME WRITER! -glomps Owlcookies-

Neiyo- What do you find amusing? Anything?

"To me it is," Jayfeather snorts. "Yes. Fine. I like you. NOW I CAN SEEEE!" His heart springs and for a week he is extremely happy and not emo, depressing, AND CRABBY!

Cloudtail blinks. "…Uhm…"

"NOOOOO! YOU CAN NEVA KIDNAP CHUCK NORRIS! NOOOOOOOOO!" Firestar screams drastically waving his paws around.

Spiderleg and Ashfur scream the exact same thing adding, "CHUCK NORRIS IS TO COOL FOR YOU!"

"I'm glaring at Firestar! What else would my reacting be?" Sandstorm snaps. "No I would never join him with a twoleg! And Firestar… he… er… LONG STORY!"

Hollyleaf crawls back to the tunnel and is taken down further than the Dark Forest…

xD OwlCookies is in pure joy.

"I find explosions very amusing," she muses.

"JAPAN GO BOOOOOOOOOM!" Owlie hollers.

"Now for the next question!" Jayfeather smiles. "Is from the anonymous reviewer,Mistyfoot98!"

**Haha, I love this! I'm watching for updates! Also I don't really know how this works, like if you only pick certain peoples questions, but here goes!**

Jayfeather: I do not support JayxStick. Although I was a bit sad when you broke it. So, does Rock creep you out? If you could go back in time would you still have broken the stick? Also, if you could have saved Fallen Leaves when you were rescuing the kits from the tunnels, but in order to do so you had to sacrifice one cat you were with, would you do it and if so which one?

Thunderstar/Riverstar/Windstar/Shadowstar: Were you sad when the clans had to move?

Hollyleaf: When did you become so obsessed with the warrior code and why?

Last but not least: Mistystar: Do you like me? You are my favorite character! (spoiler?)I was so happy when you became leader!

Oh wait! Scourge: Where did you go when you died? Dark forest?

Cool fanfic, really nice! Although repetitive questions about Jayfeather being a unicorn and liking cookies annoy me. But that's ok. Oh and Owlie, just remember: Weird is good, strange is bad and odd is what people say when they don't know what else to.

"Well Mistyfoot!" Owlie begins explaining. "Every time I get on the computer, I try my best to update! I don't pick certain questions… I use EVERY question! So… yes!"

"Rock's body creeps me out…" Jayfeather shudders. "No, I wouldn't have broken my stick…" he frowns. "YES! I WOULD DO IT! I WOULD SACRAFICE BREEZEPELT!"

"Very…" they mutter but their voices are very faint and far away.

"WHEN I WANTED TO BE THE GREATEST APPRENTICE EVER!" Hollyleaf screams her usual scream

"Yes! Thank you for liking me!" Mistystar smiles.

"Well OwlCookies wishes I went to StarClan but since I don't believe in StarClan or the Dark Forest, I just disappeared," Scourge explains.

"The next question is from… Red Rose of Love!" Jayfeather chirps.

In the background, you can hear Owlie whispering to Neyio. "I'm scared of the new Jayfeather…"

**first off, EEEP! how do you not know who Cody and Snowkit are?**

Cody- a kittypet who helped out the clan cats in NP's Moonrise before the great journey. She was also caught in the same traps as the clan cats; Leafpaw, Cloudtail, Brightheart, etc.

Snowkit- Speckletail's last kit. He was deaf. He was carried away by a hawk never to be seen again.

NEW QUESTIONS!

Brightheart- Why do you still deny that you hate Firestar's guts? We all know what he did to you.

Graystripe- Why are you still hiding the fact that you want to destroy Brambleclaw? We no you want to.

Jayfeather- Once again I must say, you are lame. How do you respond to that?

Lionblaze- What the frick is your problem? You always stink!

"Well I'M SORRY for thinking The New Prophecy was booring…" Owlie rolls her eyes. "But I'm rereading it." A pause. "I still don't really know Cody, but OHHH! I see! Yea, I remember Snowkit!"

"He didn't do anything! He's my leader and he's cool!" Brightheart screeches.

"I don't want to destroy him! He didn't do anything!" Graystripe roars. LOL… RAWR MEANS I LOVE YOU IN DINOSAUR!

"Awww! You really think I'm lame?" Jayfeather sniffles.

Lionblaze growls. "I don't HAVE a problem and I don't stink!"

"Next question!" Neiyo exclaims. "Is from XxCandiSprinklzxX!"

**HOLA!**

I just ate a full bag of candy

Firestar-What is so epic about Chuck Norris?

Jayfeather-Do you like me or hate me? If you could see, would you still wanna be a medicine cat?

Brightheart- Did you know that I cried when you lost your eye? Did you know that you're one of my favorite characters?

Ashfur- Did you know that I think that you deserve Squirrelflight?

Bye!~

"He's so epic you don't need words…" Firestar slyly says.

"OH MY STARCLAN THIS CAKE IS SO AMAZING IT HAS ALMONDS!" you hear Owlie scream.

Deep silence…

"ANYWHOOO!" Jayfeather cries. "No, I don't hate me. If I could see and right now I can, I don't want to be a medicine cat! Warrior forever!"

"Aww! Thanks!" Brightheart smiles innocently.

"Yes! I know right!" Ashfur agrees.

"Ew no! BrambleXSquirrel forever!" Jayfeather snorts.

"The next question is from our normal reviewer… Patchkit!" Owlie exclaims happily.

**Do you like lemons?**

What's 2x2?

Will you do my math homework for me?

If you could rename Lionblaze, what would you call him?

Fo you think Dovepaw's awesome?

What do you think of Firestar?

Are these questions more sane?

"No. I don't like lemons. They're very sour!" Jayfeather replies. "2 times 2 is 4! Sure, I'll do it! I'd be glad to help! Hmm… I wouldn't want to. Lionblaze' name is really cool! Ya, I think Dovepaws great! Firestar needs to stop hanging out with Chuck Norris… and no, these questions aren't very sane!"

"WOW," OwlCookies whispers astonished.

"And the next question is from the anonymous reviewer with no name. Wait… at the bottom is says Tanglepaw!" Jayfeather announces.

**Hi!I was the 6th commentor in the second chapter and I was wondering this:**

Sandstorm-I'd really like to see you and Spottedleaf have a chick-fightXD!

Firestar-I just read Bluestar's prophcey,and origially Spottedleaf was supposed to be a warrior,if she was an warrior would you ask her to be your mate if she wasn't dead?

Lionblaze-I want you to be wit Cinderheart!She luvs you!

Squrrielflight-I feel sorry for messed up, first, you broke up wit Ashfur,then you lied to Brambleclaw...sad.

Bluestar-Why did you go wit Oakheart?I understand he was cute and all but,what about Thrushpelt?

Mousefur-You never die!You are an everlasting cat! you like Longtail at some point in your life?

OwlCookies-Your funny...and awesome!(thats not a question.)

Lionblaze-If you don't like Cinderheart,would you like me?(I am in Thunderclan.)

Hope to see you update soon!

~Tanglepaw

"You're on Spottedleaf!" Sandstorm screeches. Immediately, the two she-cats fight to the death. At the same time, Neiyo begins to pry to two cats apart.

"Sheesh," she groans.

"Uh…uh…uh…." Noticing Sandstorm isn't watching, he answers. "YES!" he whispers then runs away to Chuck Norris.

"WHAT/?" Sandstorm screams causing the earth to shake. An 8.9 earthquake rumbles and everyone begins panicking.

"EARTHQUAKE!" Neiyo screams. Owlie begins crying and everyone is in chaos.

…This my friends, is how the Japan earthquake happened…

CUT! TAKE 2!

"I want to be with her to!" Lionblaze exclaims.

Squirrelflight frowns sadly.

"Cuz Oakhearts cooler!" Bluestar laughs evilly. Uh… right…

"No I did NOT!" Mousefur snaps.

"IT'S NOT A QUESTION BUT YAY! I FEEL SO LOVED!" Q her happy ecstasy mode…

"NOOOOO I LOVE CINDERHEART!" Lionblaze screeches.

"NOW FOR THE NEXT QUESTION!" Jayfeather chirps. "Is from Fanfictionfan0106!"

**First let me say: I LOVE WARRIORS!**

1) Graystripe: a)If something happened to Millie, would you marry me?

b)Who do you prefer: Millie, Silverstream, or me?

c)I LOVE YOU!

2) Jayfeather: a)Are you a Warriors only cat, or are you open to new  
oppurtunities? Because I have a job open for your voice because of your bad  
attutude.

b)Is there any cat or stick(sorry) that you love, even if you are a med. cat?

3) Lionblaze: a)Will you and Cinderheart have kits or do you love another cat?  
(I love LionblazeXCinderheart)

b)Why do people think you're stuck up?

4) Tigerstar: Do you regret the birth of Brambleclaw and Tawnypelt? What about  
Mothwing and Hawkfrost?

5)Brambleclaw: Will you please forgive Squirrelflight already? (I love  
BrambleclawXSquirrelflight)

6)Berrynose: Will you admit that you love only two cats: Honeyfern and  
yourself?

7)Leafpool: a)Do you regret your time with Crowfeather?

b)Do you regret your kits?

c)Do you think you are worthy of StarClan?

8)Every cat: Do you all want voicing roles? It's very rewarding.

Sorry about all the questions. I'm trying to help with the show. Please answer  
my questions.

"No," Graystripe replies. "I don't even know you. Why would I marry you? And uh… uh… well I know for sure I don't prefer you… YOU KNOW. I THINK I KINDA GOT THE IDEA O_O"

Jayfeather blinks. "Er… what? Nope sorry! Don't have a love in mind."

"I wanted to be mates with Cinderheart… but she kinda dumped me," Lionblaze frowns. "But I don't love another she-cat! Uh… People think I'm stuck up? How dare they!" he growls.

"I regret the births of Tawnypelt and Mothwing. But Brambleclaw and Hawkfrost were joy! They looked so much like meee!" Tigerstar goes happy-prancy-mode…

"Fine," Brambleclaw states simply.

Owlie snorts. "Then go to her Brambley, GO TO HER!"

There is an awkward silence…

"Just answer the questions already!" Neiyo groans.

Berrynose is too busy being conceited and looking at himself in the mirror…

"Yes. I do regret my time with Crowfeather b-but I don't regret my kits! They're awesome! Well… besides Hollyleaf. I don't know if anyones every told you… but she's freaky.. No I don't like think I'm worthy of StarClan," Leafpool answers.

"Huh?" was all the cats' replies.

"NEXT QUESTION!" Jayfeather chirps. "Is from… Iceshadow of ShadowClan!"

**Questions:**

aw... hollyleaf rocks so here is a question for her: Why don't you kill Owliecookies? (Sorry owlie, I'm obsessed with Hollyleaf)

Jayfeather: Did you know I just thought that you could be the medicine equivalent of Gandalf?

Lionblaze: If you could pick one tom who would transformed into a shecat and be your mate who would it be? You have to pick one! Berrynose, Breezepelt, Sol, Jayfeather, Firestar, Brambleclaw, or Crowfeather.

Another one for Jayfeather: Would you WANT to be Gandalf or Buzz Light year?

Another one for Jayfeather: which shecat would you most want to be your mate? cinderheart/pelt, Hollyleaf (even though it's creepy), Sandstorm, Squirrelflight, Leafpool, or Nightcloud? YOU MUST PICK ONE!

One for Firestar: If you had to live with one of these annoying or in-experienced cats for your deputy forever, who would it be? Berrynose, , Crowfeather, Sol (sooooooooo lame), Icepaw, foxpaw, or a pile of pie?

Cinderheart: If you had to mate with at least one of these toms, who would it be? Berrynose, Crowfeather, Brackenfur(your dad), Brambleclaw, or Cloudtail? MUST PICK ONE!

Owlie, Snowkit is a deaf kit that was carried away by a hawk in one of the books of the first series like the 1st, 2nd, or 3rd book. cody is a kittypet that came back with Leafpool when she was caught in the twoleg trap where graystripe was carried away.

please answer all my questions!

"BECAUSE IF I KILL HER IT GOES AGAINST OUR CONTRACT WHICH IS WORSE THAN BREAKING THE WARRIOR CODE!" Hollyleaf replies.

Owlie grins. "Nahh it's fine!"

"Uhm… who's Gandalf?" Jayfeather asks.

"I'D PICK JAYFEATHER!" Lionblaze drools.

Slowly, Jayfeather backs away. Then he turns around and sprints away screaming like a girl. "AHHHHH!"

"Hm…I don't know who Gandalf is so… Buzz Light Year! Probably Cinderheart because she's the best out of all of them," Jayfeather says.

"A PILE OF PIEEEEEEEEEEEE!" Firestar exclaims drooling.

"Berrynose," Cinderheart smiles sweetly.

"Next question!" Jayfeather says. "Is from the person who I personally like, Jayfeather is Awesome!"

**Heres some questions:**

1. Do you love your stick?

2. Can you see?

3. Do you wish you could have rescued Flametail?

4. Who is your favorite clanmate? (Other than you littermates, your parents, and Firestar I hate Firestar!)

For Hawkfrost:

1. Did you ever love anyone?

2. Do you sometimes wish you didn`t listen to Tigerstar and were still a Riverclan cat?

(I love Tigerstar and Hawkfrost...)

Thanks! Update soon!

"No I do not love my stick. At the moment, I CAN see! Yes I do wish I could have rescued Flametail. UH…. UH…. HM… I dunno," Jayfeather answers in one big breath.

"No," Hawkfrost answers for both questions.

"And the next question is from Red Rose of Love," Jayfeather announces.

**I know I already reviewed this chapter, but there was some thing I forgot to say. Why didn't you answer the following question?:**

Breezepelt- Are you really so stuck up and snobby all the time? Why don't you take a chill pill?

"I didn't answer this really?" Breezepelt asks. "I am NOT stuck up and snobby! I am a WindClan cat and I case you haven't noticed, ALL WindClan cats are like this so suck it up and deal with it. And NO I will NOT take a chill pill!" the stuck-up-and-snobby-cat-who-won't-take-a-chill-pill cat snaps. "I'M NOT STUCK UP AND SNOBBY!"

"Moving on…" Owlie interrupts. "The next and final question is from Oakshine."

**Thanks for the last questions answered OMG =D**

Scourge: I luffle you, you meh fav evil little kitteh *runs over to Scourge to hug him* I think you rulleeee, do you luffle me too?

Sol: Where do you get all of that knowledge? From Rocks cave library or sumthing? Plus, do you like Hollyleaf or Oakshine (me) better? *hugs Sol holding a no.1 fan flag*

Firestar: I dare you to give Tigerstar a hug!

Tigerstar: Admit Scourge is cute! Then give him a hug and apologize for ordering Bloodclan.

Jayfeather: If you weren't a medicine cat would you try to be mates with Cinderheart or Halfmoon?

Toms I wanna hug:

Sol

Scourge

Jayfeather

Mousewhisker

Ravenpaw

and...

CLOUDTAIL *pokes tail with paw* x3 fluffyyyy

What do you toms think?

Hollyleaf: YOU ARE AWESOMEEE...anyway what power would you like if you really were one of the three?

Firestar: Hehehe fat kittypet (yes I dont like you since you became a goody goody leader.) Is Sandstorm grumpy?

Jayfeather: would you hug me if I chased all of the pesky cats away that keep telling you to admit that you are in love with the stick or some other cat?

Sandstorm: Is Firestar a fet kittypet?

Ravenpaw: ROAR IM TIGERSTAR HAHAHAHA I HAVE COME BACK FROM THE DEAD TO KILL YOUUUU.

Firestar: go gag up Sandstorm and then mate in front of her with Spottedleaf. evvilllll =D

Hollyleaf: why are you so obsessed with the warrior code, even the greatest cats break it sometimes.

To Swiftpaw: go have a nice night with brightheart, =) you deserve it, wanna have that nice night?

OMG TOO MANY QUESTIONS SORRYYYYY

"No I do NOT luffle you!" Scourge hisses. But we all know that on the inside, he is squealing on about how cute the word 'luffle' is.

Sol magically waves his paws around. "I got the knowledge in meee! Everytime I touch-"

"NOOOOO! THIS ISN'T A MUSICAL!" Owlie squeaked. "And plus, it's 'I've got the magic in me.' Genius," she scoffs.

"I guess I like you better," Sol shrugs.

"YAYYY!" you hear Oakshine cheer.

"Well," Firestar pouts. "I don't wanna give him a hug! I want to give Chuck Norris a hug!"

"SCOURGE IS NOT CUTE!" Tigerstar exclaims! But unfortunately for him, we have a video… *evil face*

"_Scourge…" Tigerstar softly says looking down._

"_Mhmm what?" Scourge asks while playing with a ball of yarn._

"_You know, you really are cute…"_

_Scourge stops playing with his yarn and looks up and the big tabby. Their eyes shining as they have a connection._

_In the background, music plays. __**What is love? Baby don't hurt me! Don't hurt me! No more…**_

Before any cat can laugh at that, Tigerstar and Scourge had run to Chuck Norris for protection.

"ANYWHOO!" Jayfeather interrupts trying not to laugh. "Most likely Halfmoon since Lionblaze already has Cinderheart."

The toms mentioned do not answer…

Hollyleaf thinks for a moment. "PERFECTION!"

"Cough cough OCD Problems! Cough cough," Owlie… coughs.

Immediately Sandstorm glares at Firestar. "Pshht! N-n-no! S-Sandstorm i-isn't g-gr-grumpy!" On the inside, he's screaming yes.

"THE WARRIOR CODE IS PERFECT!" Hollyleaf screeches.

"Yes please!" Swiftpaw exclaims.

"And that's all we have for today! Bye!" Neiyo grins evilly.

This segment of Ask Jayfeather was brought to you by… RAMEN! The food of the gods! According to Owlie…


	9. Chapter 9

OwlCookies walks up to the stage holding a very long sheet of paper and looking extremely scared. "I don't know if it's because this fanfiction is very author-audience orientated, or it's because I'm cool like that, but seriously, minutes after I posted the previous chapter, I got multiple new reviews. WOW DESPERATE! And awww! I feel loved!"

"Kicking off with the first question," Jayfeather says. "Is from Superleigh50! And in case you people are wondering, yes I am still happy."

**To Nightcloud: You annoy me. A lot. *throws you off a cliff* Heh heh.**

To Barkface: ...How are you still... alive? Seriously... -_-

To Kestrelflight: Were you dropped on your head when you were a kit? Are you the only cat in WindClan that ISN'T grumpy?

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! I HAVE TO MUCH TO LIVE FOORRRR!" Nightcloud screams while falling down the cliff.

"AS IF YOU DO!" the crowd screams back.

There is a boom and everyone begins laughing instead of mourning.

"Actually, didn't I die?" Barkface counters.

"I was not dropped on my head when I was a kit!" Krestelflight protests. "I… Just…. Honestly. I don't know. But that means I'm awesome and unique!" he cheers.

"And the next question is from… Elise the Amazing!" Jayfeather announces.

**Hollyleaf: -gives magical concussion curing pills- do you have OCD or something? Sometimes I think you might... sometimes I think I might... And what would happen I locked you in a closet with a warrior from another clan then told every other cat and showed them evidence? Also, did you go crazy because YOU were somehow in love with the stick (which you met in that dream with the rabid rainbow llama-corn riding penguins) but then the stick left you for Jayfeather, who rejected it? I'm tired. I also have absolutely no idea where I got the llama-corns from. But now I want one. :D :D :D :D -knocks out with lamp AGAIN-**

Tawnypelt: If your mate is female, does how do you have kits?

Rowanclaw: How did you have kits if you were a girl until recently?

Breezepelt needs a chill pill? -takes out funnel-

[elevator music comes on and curtain comes down]

he's not only chilled, but he may need a paramedic! I'm so proud of myself... :')

Jayfeather: You can now SEE? I apologize for this. -ties to chair and forces to read all of My Immortal- can you still see? I had trouble seeing after reading it...

an, for the sake of all things evil, Owlie, please show Dark Forest your video. At least Scourge and Tigerstar can go public now! And amuse me...

"THE WARRIOR CODE IS GOD!" is Hollyleafs only reply.

Everyone sighs in exasperation. "That's getting old, man. That's getting old," some mutter.

"My mate is a male!" Tawnypelt protests.

"Uh… I somehow turned into a guy so I don't have any more girl parts?" Rowanclaw suggests.

"Yes! I can see! A fan gave me sight!" Jayfeather cheers in complete happiness.

"…My video…? What video? O.O" Owlie asks confused.

"And the next question…" Jayfeather announces. "Is from… Goldenstar!"

**An update, all my questions answered, and two new Chuck Norris cats: yay yay yay yay!**

Neiyo and Owlie: Did you like the cookies? I LOVE PEANUT BUTTER COOKIES!

Cloudtail: Are you saying no-to-check-out-the-song or no-you-didn't-like-it? And let Brightheart answer!

Brightheart: Did you like the song? Are you mad that Cloudtail wouldn't let you talk? (Favorite cat in the series!)

Tigerstar: If I let you kill me. Seriously, try me. (Goldenstar appears and fights with Tigerstar for the remainder of the chapter-you choose the outcome, Owlie)

Blackstar: Thank you. Did you know that besides Dawnpelt, Tigerheart, and Tawnypelt, you are my favorite ShadowClan cat?

Cinderheart: Will you go back to Lionblaze? (I love CinderXLion)

Neiyo: What music genre do you like? I can give you some good songs once I know.

That's all! Oh, and I saw the other Ask Jayfeather, and I thought it was this one and I was like WHAT? It's annoying and confusing and this one is better.

"I LOVE COOKIES TO THE EXTREME! Owlie screams. "CHOCOLATE CHIP FOR THE WIN!" she accidentally spits on Neiyo who is right next to her absorbing most of the spit.

"No. I. Do. Not. Like. Cookies," the anger management problem person growls.

"Uh… Wait. What?" Cloudtail asks after receiving a few shoves from Chuck Norris.

Brightheart nods in response. "We kinda forgot the question… And no, it's fine if Cloudtail won't let me speak."

"Due to all the questions we have received, we will save the Goldenstar VS Tigerstar fight for the very end! If you would like to see it, please stay after the show to enjoy it," Owlie and Neiyo grin thinking who will explode.

"No. I did not," Blackstar shrugs.

Cinderheart shrugs. "Sure."

"Hard. Core. Rap," Neiyo grins evilly.

"EWWWWWWWWWW! RAP!" Owlie squeaks horrified. "ROCK AND HIP HOP FOR THE WIN! And aww! Thanks for loving!"

Jayfeather frowns. "No questions for me? Oh well, next question! Is from L.K.Y.R."

**OK! Here are my questions:**

Barley, Ravenpaw, are you gay together? I know you are, even though there's only one fic of you and it doesn't even have any romance yet.

Ravenpaw, have you ever wanted to receive a proper warrior name?

Tigerheart: Do you ever feel ashamed that you might have been named after Tigerstar?

Tigerstar: Will you kill me? If you don't, I'll give you a muffin!

Jayfeather: Do you like muffins?

Firestar: You're too overrated. *Removes all remaining lives* How do you feel now?

Owly/Neiyo: Am I not awesomeness incarnate?

Barley and Ravenpaw looked at each other shocked. "W-What? NO!" they both exclaim in unison.

"Nope. Never have, never will. I don't chose the way of the warrior, I'm fine right now thank you very much," Ravenpaw nods.

"No way! Tigerstars cool!" Tigerheart exclaims his eyes shining OVERLY bright.

"Fine. I'll kill you just for the muffin!" Tigerstar pouts. So he kills L.K.Y.R. Out of that persons pocket falls a muffin which Tigerstar happily cradles and begins nibbling. Then he turns red. "W-What? Can't a cat enjoy his muffin in peace?"

"Yea I like muffins!" Jayfeather chirps. "Especially those blueberry ones because they remind me of me!"

Firestar cannot answer because he is floating in nothingness…

"Hmm… maybe," Owlie grins.

"No," Neiyo quickly says.

"And the next question! Is from sky651," Jayfeather smiles.

**Hey Jayfeather, I agree that some of the questions are crazy and that Owlcookie is a bit of a lunatic.**

1. I am learning Spanish in school. Can you translate this?: Tu eres muy comico

2. Do you watch TV?

3. Do any of the cast watch House of Anubis?

4. If the answer for the last question was yes, then what do you think about the couples?

5. Did you know that someone wrote a crossover where the characters from Twilight turned everyone in Thunderclan into vampires?

6. Have you ever caught a piece of prey?

7. What do you suggest for a cold?

8. Who would you want as a mate if you weren't a medicine cat?

9. Have you ever broken the Warrior Code?

10. How many moons are you?

11. What did you think when your half-brother tried to kill you?

12. Did you know about all the truth-or-dare shows for warriors?

13. Can you ignore all the questions about you and the stick?

14. Have I submitted the most questions in one review?

15. Did you know that you're British?

16. Did you know that the setting for the books is in England?

17. Do you believe in Greek gods?

18. What would you look like if you were a twoleg?

19. Do you want to kill everyone who asks about your relationship with 'sticky' as some people call it?

20. How do you know that it's night?

21. How many queens have you helped while they were giving birth?

"HAH! I TOLD YOU PEOPLE THOUGHT I WAS INSANE!" Owlie exclaims pointing triumphantly at Neiyo. "YOU OWE ME A PENNY!"

T.T Annoyed, Neiyo reaches onto the floor and gives OwlCookies the random penny she found.

"It says, you are very comical. Thank you!" Jayfeather grins. "No I don't watch TV and neither does the rest of the cast so they can't answer the next question. Someone did? Oohh I want to read that! No, sadly I've never caught a piece of prey. I suggest rest and a good meal for a cold. Hm… I don't know. My birth broke the warrior code. I lost count of how many moons I was after I became an apprentice… I thought that Breezepelt was a stupid idiot when he tried killing me. No, I do not. On this fanfiction no, it would go against the contract. I don't think so. I think Patchkit did. Speaking of him/her, I haven't seen him/her in a while. Oh well, we'll wait until we his his/her questions. I'm… British…? It's in England? No I don't believe in Greek gods. Just StarClan. Uh… Ask Owlie, she likes to draw pictures of me as a twoleg."

Owlie interrupts Jayfeathers answering, "JUST PM ME AND ILL SCAN A PICTURE ON HERE, PUT IT ON DEVIANTART, AND GIVE YOU THE LINK!"

"As I was saying," Jayfeather continues. "Not really. I know it's night because cats are retiring into their nests."

"Hahaha… retire… haha… Black Butler…" OwlCookies grins dreamily.

"Honestly, I don't think there have been much," Jayfeather shrugs.

"And the next question," Neiyo sighs. "Is from Owlie's number one fan, NerdPrincess101."

**Finally~ Fanfiction sucks for not letting you update!**

Jatfeather- *faints* OMG! Yay! *glomps Jayfeather* You are now forbidden to take back those words. MWUAHAHAHAHA!

Cloudtail- HAHAHA! I made you feel awkward! Sorry, I'm hyper today.

Owlie- I'm going to tell you something that you probably don't care about. My dad and I were at karate and he fell on my leg like five times and now my ankle is all swollen. Anyways, YAY NEW STORIES!

Neiyo- Explosions, huh? Would you like some bombs?

Firestar- *pulls Chuck Norris away* Mine. Haha. How do you feel about that?

The large group of cats who have been with him- HAHA!

Sandstorm- Would you like me to force Spottedleaf into the Dark Forest? I'd do it gladly.

Scourge and Tigerstar- Heh, I took Chuck Norris. Are you going to try to kill me now?

Haha, I luffles you all! Except Hollyleaf. *shoots grenade launcher at the OCD cat* MUWAHAHAHAHAHA!

"O-oh U-uh! Ok!" Jayfeather gasps under NerdPrincess' weight.

"Er… right," Cloudtail says running away to Chuck Norris.

"HAHAHAHAHA NICE ONE!" Owlie laughs.

Licking her lips evilly, Neiyo nods. "Give me those bombs."

"NOOO! DON'T! SHE'S GOING TA KILL US ALLLLL!" Owlie screams horrified.

"NOOO! CHUCK NORRIS!" Firestar bawls in a corner making him unable to answer more questions…

Owlie giggles. "LOL large group of cats."

"Sure," Sandstorm grins evilly.

"No," both Scourge and Tigerstar say in unison.

"NEXT QUESTION!" Neiyo interrupts covering up the scene of NerdPrincess obliterating Hollyleaf. "Is from Jayfeather is Awesome."

**Jayfeather: Which do you want to lead your clan if you had to choose?**

Tigerstar

Scourge

A random kittypet

Hawkfrost

You

Tigerstar: You are so cool! (thats not really a question though...)

You do know all cats were kittypet and loners at one point, right? Before the clans?

Hollyleaf: Dieeeee!

Jayfeather: If you had to be in a different clan, which would it be?

If you had to choose either Leafpool or Squirrelflight as a mate, whom would you choose?

Thanks! Update soon! (hands Owlie, Neiyo, and Jayfeather a sugar cookie with rainbow sprinkles) 

"Me of course!" Jayfeather gasps. Haha… happy go lucky kitty.

"WHAT? I WAS LIED TOO!" Tigerstar gasps in disbelief.

OwlCookies snorts. "Ya, and your father ditched his position of being a leader and became a kittypet instead."

Tigerstar has fainted in disbelief causing him to no longer answer questions…

Jayfeather shrugs. "Probably WindClan or RiverClan. NEITHER! I can't mate with my mother and/or fake mother!"

While Neiyo throws her cookie away and Jayfeather eats his, you can hear Owlie. "NOOO! *nom* IT *nom* MUST *nom* BE A *nom* CHOCOLATE CHIP *nom* COOKIE!"

Neiyo angrily whacks OwlCookies' head. "DON'T EAT IT IF YOU'RE GOING TO COMPLAIN ABOUT IT!"

"ANYWHOO!" Jayfeather panicks. "The next question is from Badgerfang. Hey… Owlie, isn't that your youtube furry?"

Owlie nods.

**To start off: you are being mean to the people in japan. Over 1,000 lost their lives and countless others are unaccounted for**

On to the questions!

Actuly, I just have one request and would be really happy of you did it. Hear it is: bring brokentail back to life and have eather takadox or vezon kill him. They are from bionicles. Kill him slowly and painfully...

"Geez! Sorry!" OwlCookies rolls her eyes. "I'm not there so I wouldn't know! Very sorry!"

Brokentail is brought back to life and is killed slowly and painfully by BOTH Takadox and Vezon. There are outburst of cheers from the audience.

"Next question is from aw…. It's from Ilubjayfeather!" Jayfeather grins happily.

**jayfeather: Would you like it if I torched all those who say you love your stick with my flamethrower?**

would you rather forgive leafpool or squirrelflight?

would you rather live in thunderclan blind or shadowclan seeing?

do you like dealing with sick cats?

firestar: do you know that over half of all warrior fans want you to die already?

do you still love your kids after what they did?

do you dress up as scourge for halloween?

to anyone who can answer:Why was skystar never metioned if skyclan was there in the begining?

yay jayfeather!

"Sure! Go ahead! Probably Squirrelflight. ThunderClan blind. I kinda got used to it," Jayfeather shrugs.

Firestar is still bawling… Answer: "Yes, I can tell. Yes I still do love them. No I do not!"

After no cat answered, a slight wind blows carrying some tumbleweed with it….

"The next question is from Red Rose of Love," Neiyo blandly says.

**!**

Questions:

Brightheart: Are you still denying it? Really? We all know you are lying. ADMIT IT! YOU TOTALLY WANT TO KILL FIRESTAR FOR WHAT HE DID! I know you know what I'm talking/typing about.

Graystripe: I see that you are also still in denial. That's okay. WE know that you will kill Brambleclaw sometime soon in the future. Just out of curiosity, how will you do it?

Jayfeather: Yes. Anyways, what is your favorite color? Because that is my new least favorite color.

Lionblaze: *singing* LIONBLAZE HAS PROBLEMS! LIONBLAZE HAS PROBLEMS! LIONBLAZE HAS PROBLEMS! *end singing* You do have problems. Why do you feel so sorry for yourself? You're the most powerful cat in the WORLD! and you're upset because Cinderheart doesn't like you anymore. GET OVER IT!

Firestar: Do you want a cookie? It's your favoite! Want the cookie? Do you want the cookie? Huh? Huh? Huh? Well too bad! WHAHAHAHAHA! *throws cookie into adudience and runs away*

Breezepelt: Can I kill you? If not, can Crowfeather kill you? If not to that too, can Leafpool kill you? If not to that one also, can Jayfeather kill you? That would be funny, you being killed by the idiot annoying blind cat. HA!

Anyways, I think that's it. Thanks for you time! NOW ANSWER MY QUESTIONS! ...please?

"No I don't! Brightheart whimpers.

"I'm not going to kill Brambleclaw in any way!" Graystripe growls.

"Navy blue!" Jayfeather chirps.

"I do not! Uh… Right…." Lionblaze says.

Firestars bolts awake and his eyes light up. "Ohh! Yes! I _do_ want a white chocolate macadamia cookie!" he wags his tail like a dog. But when he cookie flies away, he begins bawling again.

"No. No. No. No," Breezepelt growls.

"Next question is from Heartless demon wolf," Jayfeather announces.

**What up, great story here, funny as heck**

ok question time:FireStar:how many eniemes do you have?

Jayfeather:is being blind what helps start your powers?

Scorge:will you ever join with TigerStar and the other villains when the Dark forest goes to the living world (if it ever did)

yo next up is Heathertail and Lionblaze

Heathertail:would you ever mate with Lionblaze and have his kits if you could?

Lionblaze:if you had the chance would you have mated with Heathertail in the cave when you were younger and stayed with her if she got pregannt? (if younger female cats can get pregant)

Ivypaw:would you ever join the dark side if you could (I love evil and Ivypaw and the other villains, best is Scorge though)

BlueStar:does Yellowfang get on your nerves? (sorry random)

Lionblaze:would you join and let darkness (the Dark forest) into your heart and betry your friends and family if you had the chance?

Firestar:why won't you and Sandstorm have any more kits?

Jayfeather:if you can go into the past, can you go into the furture as well?

Brightheart:is it hard living life with one eye? (sorry random again)

Hollyleaf:would you concerder what happen to you in the tunel sucide?

Bambleclaw: (I hate you, sorry Bambleclaw fans), why did you not kill Firestar when you could, would you have join darkness and your brother to take over the lake if you could do it again along with Mudclaw (one of the best friggen villians ever)

Leafpool:are you upset you can't heal the clan anymore?, do you regreat falling in love with Crowfeather?

Crowfeather: (I hate you to, your friggin mean to one of the best cats in the book you *&&^%&&*&*&&&*##!## &&**^&%^$$%%...moving on) WHY did you lie to the cats about loving Leafpool (love you Leaf) and why are you so angry all the time

Thanks and please answer, may the gods be with you, peace.

Firestar is too busy bawling… But let me say that he has multiple enemies…

"Yes, it is," Jayfeather nods.

"You wish," Scourge snorts. "I have better things to do!" Haha… like playing with his teddy bear!

"YES! YES I WOULD!" Heathertail exclaims dreamily and drooling.

"Desperate people," Owlie scoffs.

"Ew no!" Lionblaze screeches.

"No…" Ivypaw frowns.

"No, she never actually has…" Bluestar answers.

"NOO! WHY THE HECK WOULD I DO THAT?" Lionblaze exclaims.

You hear Darkstripe and Hawkfrost sigh. "So much for that idea…."

Firestar is still bawling….

"Yes! Yellowfang said so! But she won't let me!" Jayfeather whines.

Before Hollyleaf can scream anything about the Warrior Code, they shoot her with a giant tranquil gun…

"Because Erin Hunter… said… so…?" Brambleclaw was too shocked to answer really…

"No and uh… kinda…" Leafpool shrugs.

"Because I said so and because ALL WindClan cats are grumy," Crowfeather explains.

"The Gods?" Owlie asks.

"The next question is from Ilubjayfeather… again… "

**oh I forgot!this has nothing to do with warriors but im curious:**

owlcookies: you said you liked guardians of ga'hoole(AWESOME SERIES!) who was your favorite character?

where you dissapointed with the movie?

did you know kathrine lasky wrote/is writing about the wolfs of the beyond?

thanks!

"I LOVEEEE GUARDIANS OF GA'HOOLE!" Owlie grins. "My favorite character is Gylfie! She's totally cool! Next to her is probably Siv, but maybe I like her because she has a coolio name. But ya, GYLFIE ROCKS! The movie wasn't that bad considering the ending credits song and animation. That was my favorite part ahaha… but I think I like the books better than the movie. JUST BECAUSE Soren doesn't have his parents anymore! Yes, I did know. Sadly, I could never get my hands on it…"

"The next question is from Mothstar!" Jayfeather announces.

**Yaaaay!**

I have something to say. Smokepaw and Smokefoot are two different things. Wikipedia says that the Erins said so. Random question cuz I didn't prepare any.

To everyone: DID YOU KNOW ANNABEC'S BIRTHDAY IS ON APRIL 1ST? Happy birthday Annabec! I don't know if she reads this one but yeah!

"Oh, I see how it is," Owlie slyly says. B)

Everyone: "HAPPY BIRTHDAY ANNABEC WHOEVER YOU ARE!

"Er… that wasn't much of a question. But this one is from Fanfictionfan0106," Jayfeather says.

**Hello, again!**

Hollyleaf: If you were still in ThunderClan, do you think that you would be in a competition against Dovepaw to still be apart of the three?

Jayfeather, Lionblaze, Hollyleaf: Have you forgiven Leafpool, Crowfeather, and Squirrelflight?

Jayfeather: Do you think the clans will survive against the Dark Forest?

Crowfeather: If you could have any wish, what would it be?

Graystripe: If you got to know me, would you marry me?

Mille and Silverstream: If you two were to fight for Graystripe, who would win?

Lionblaze: Will you ever have kits?

Cinderheart: Will you please get back with Lionblaze?

P.S. Please call me Willowsong-my pelt is the perfect blend of silver, white tabby, and pale gray fur.

Hollyleaf is still knocked out by the tranquil gun…

"Ehh… not really…" Jayfeather and Lionblaze say.

"I hope they do! I'm rooting for it!" Jayfeather exclaims.

"To start over…" he says looking down.

"No!" Graystripe screeches.

Millie and Silverstream look at each other then look back to the audience shrugging.

"Who knows," Lionblaze shrugs.

"Sure," Cinderheart shrugs.

"Ok Willowsong!" Owlie grins.

"And the next question is from Kool-Aid-Dude," Neiyo announces boringly.

**Jayfeather I hate you for one reason and that is because you brutally killed stick. IT did nothing but sit there. YOU snapped it in half and threw it in the lake! How do you think it felt! Jerk!**

Jayfeather-Do you have a problem with sticks?

-Have you killed any sticks after that point?

-Do you want to have a social life(You only have one friend and its your brother)?

To firestar-How much longer are you going to live?

"I'm sowwy…." Jayfeather whimpers. "No, I don't. No I haven't. Yes, I do."

Firestar is still bawling…

"Next question is from Maplestar of NightClan," OwlCookies says getting kinda bored.

**Hi! OMG! I can NOT believe that I'm asking these questions, but, Jayfeather, I must know...**

If you had to choose a different name for yourself what would would it be and why?

Do you have a secret crush?

Do you ever wish you could be a twoleg? For how long?

(random question) What's your favourite food?

Thanks! I love you Jayfeather(like a brother)

~Maplestar

"Uh… I don't know. I think Jayfeathers fine," Jayfeather shrugs. "No I do not have a secret crush. No I do not wish I could be a twoleg. I already answered that! I like voles! And aww… thank!"

"AND THE NEXT QUESTION IS FROM TANGLEDSTALKER WITH A DIFFERENT NAME!" Owlie exclaims. "It says Tangles909PSP…."

**Is it still okay if I do the 'Ask Jayfeather' idea, or would you prefer I use a different cat instead?**

PS-good funny chapter as always!

PPS-Question(s):

Jayfeather: If you could bring ONE cat up from the dead, who would you choose?

Tigerstar: How would you feel if you went through everything Firestar experienced, for a moon?

Firestar: How exactly DID Sandstorm fall in love with you?

"Yea, it's fine," Owlie nods. "You don't have to. Just give me credit 'kay? Cuz it makes me mad when other people copy my idea without giving me credit… I also lose reviews because the people I get mad at…"

"UH…. YELLOWFANG!" Jayfeather picks randomly.

"I'd probably die midway," Tigerstar rolls his eyes shuddering.

Firestar STILL cannot answer….

"Sorry Patchkit, I would wait for you, but I can't update soon after this! I have a concert tomorrow, and it's April Fools, swimming, exetera… " Owlie apologizes. "But here's the fight between Goldenstar and Tigerstar!"

Goldenstar glares at Tigerstar. The fierce tabby is frozen in fright and wets his pants… (if he would wear any) Goldenstar growls. Tigerstar yelps in fear.

A moment of awkward silence…

"NOOO! DON'T KILL MEEEEE!" Tigerstar squeak horrified. Then he runs away and huddles behind Scourge.

"WOOWWW," everyone exclaims laughing.

"WINNNERRR!" Owlie exclaims tossing Goldenstar in the air.


	10. Chapter 10

OwlCookies walks up to the stage looking extremely apologetic. "Er…. Sorry for not updating in a LONG LONG LOONNGGG time! But I guess karma got me back pretty quickly cuz…." She sweat drops. "Well, I got two pages of reviews T.T I feel loved. Yes, indeed I feel loved. And uhhh, since there a multiple questions and a lot of them are long… COUGH COUGH PATCHKIT COUGH COUGH…. I will have to type these up pretty quick so I can update 'Her Light Will Never Die Out,' and 'Somewhere Down in a Hole.'"

"The first question," Jayfeather says. "Is from Elise the Amazing." You can tell he's irritated because you can no longer see the sparkle he had in his eyes when he could see. Because since it's been waaayy past a week, Jayfeather can no longer see anything.

To all the cast: Am I the only one that's scared when Jayfeather chirps? It really doesn't help that his name is 'Jay' and 'feather'...

"Wow…. We never really thought about that," some of the audience members gasped in awe.

"NEXT QUESTIOn!" Neiyo rushes. "Is from Goldenstar!"

**Yay! I win! And I scared Tigerstar so bad he wet his…whatever! On to the questions:**

Owlie and Neiyo: Why were you guys so amazed when you learned I was twelve?

Jayfeather: If Dovepaw wasn't one of the three, who do you think would be?

Firestar: (steals Chuck Norris back from whoever stole him-I have bad memory-and gives him back) Are you happy now?

Neiyo: Rap, huh? I actually don't know any rap songs. Sorry. Anyway, where are you from?

Owlie: I'm going to read Guardians of Gahoole soon, too. How does the Wolves of Beyond series tie in?

Jayfeather: Warning, when I read the Twilight and Warriors crossover that got talked about, I had to save my regard for the series because it made all of you idiots.

Tigerstar: (growls) I'm actually a very pretty and very powerful she-cat. What do you think about me?

"Because…. i…. was…. Right…?" the two girls said in unison.

Jayfeather thinks for a moment. "UH…. Can I say Hollyleaf? Ivypaw?"

"YAY!" Firestar cheers glomping Chuck Norris instead of Goldenstar….

"Darn…" Neiyo mutters. "I am from…. AFGHANISTAN! No… not really. NEXT QUESTION!"

"YAY! GUARDIANS OF GA'HOOLE FTW! :D The wolves of the beyond ties in when they first meet Coryn. Cuz… ya!" Owlie answers.

"…Ok…." Jayfeather answers kinda annoyed.

"I think nothing about you," Tigerstar smirks.

"NEXT QUESTION!" Owlie exclaims. "Is from sky651."

**Hi... again. Owlcookie is still a lunatic! The Warrior and Twilight crossover i told you about is called Twilight Meets Warriors.**

1. Have you ever heard of Ravenpaw

2. Can you see when you dream?

3. What would the show be like if you got to create the rules?

4. Have you ever wanted to kill any of your cast members?

5. Have you ever wished you could visit the forest?

6. Do you ever want to visit moonstone?

7. I'm teaching my friends about the clans and how everything in your life is like. Do you have any tips?

8. How do you deal with annoying brothers?

9. Would you die if it saved all of Windclan?

10. Have you ever hurt anyone?

11. How are you?

12. Has anyone ever made fun of you because you're blind.

13. What cat do you hate the most?

14. Thanks for your tips on a cold!

15. What would the Warrior Code be like if you could rewrite it?

16. How annoying is Owlcookie?

17. Is it annoying having to be answering questions by force?

18. Would you rather answer questions or be a kitty-pet?

19. Why did you come here?

"Yes. Indeed. I realized I was a lunatic MANY year ago," Owlie grins.

"In nursery yes I have heard of Ravenpaw. Yes I can see when I can dream. It would be boring according to Owlie. Yes I have wanted to kill MANY of the cast members," Jayfeather answers glaring at Owlie. "No, I haven't really thought about I anyway. No, not really. Yes but I don't feel like answering them."

OwlCookies giggles. "Cuz your laaazzzy!"

Jayfeather growls. "SHUT UP! "

Owlie then begins the bawl….

"You deal with them by just dealing with them. No. Yes. I'm fine thank you very much. Yes. LIKE BERRYNOSE. Too many to name. You're welcome. It would be boring according to Owlie. VERY ANNOYING. Yes. Answer question. Because I was dragged here."

"NEXT QUESTION IS FROM… Heartless demon wolf," Neiyo announces quickly.

**Sorry I meant the Greek gods. Moving on, to be honest I never really got my questions answered by Hollyleaf or FireStar or Brightheart at all, so if I may please get those answered I'll give you a sword (pulls out long sliver blade with black handle and waves it at Owlie), moving on...**

Jayfeather:you have the abilty to move into other's dreams, anything else you can do?

FireStar:what is your saddest moment in life?, do you miss Ravenpaw and your old kittypet friend (can't remeember his name)

TigerStar:are you the only villian of FireStar besides Scorge as well?

Ashfur:would you be a villian or a hreo in the eyes of your clan, part of Starclan or the Dark forest, now that your dead?

Brightheart:well you ever have any more kits?, have you ever attack another cat for talking about you behind your back?, did you win?

Cloudtail:Why did you leave your clan in the first place?, what made you fall in love with Brightheart?, would you ever cheat on her (please answer in more then one word thanks)

Sol:are you evil or good?, whats your motive for the clans?

Spottedleaf:did you fight your best when fighting Clawface, or did he attack you by surprise?

Brook:what made you fall in love with Stormfur?, do you hate the clans home land? (which would be the lake), would you ever have any kits?, what is your place in your tribe?, how do you feel about the way your tribe acted towards the clan cats when they were being attack by rogures and asked for help?, can you fight as well as all clan cats now?, why did you leave the tribe in the first place?, do you get angry or annoyed when others make fun of you or talk behind your back about your heavy moutain accent? (can't spell)

Stormfur:are you angry with Starclan or the tribe's ancestors for the loss of your sister's life?

Graystripe:do you still grive for Sliverstream's lost?, would you take your own life if Mille (sorry I forgot how to spell her name) were to die with green cough along with your other kit?, how long have you and FireStar been best friends?, are you angry (even a little) that Bambleclaw has your spot as dupty despise the fact that Whitestorm made FireStar promise to make you dupty?, will you be with Mille or Sliverstream when you join Starclan?

Scorge:if you came back from the dead would you reform Bloodclan and get revenge on FireStar?

Squrrielflight:why did you lie to hide Leafpool's screat from the clan and your former mate?

Bambleclaw: (still hate you but have to ask this sorry Bambleclaw fans) will you find a new mate now that you and Squrrielflight are over?

LeafStar:what will happen to Skyclan now?, will you join in the battle to fight against the Dark forest, or for it and fight aganist the clans alongside evil?

Jayfeather:would you rather have sight and lose your abilty's, or stay blind and keep them?

Lionblaze:do you regreat the harsh words you said to Heathertail during the battle against Thunderclan and Windclan?

Thats all for now, I have more but I'll leave room for other reviews. Please try to answer them and may the GREEK gods be with you, peace.

"Pshhht, I answer ALL question no matter how time consuming it may be," Owlie scoffs.

"I can… do… stuff…." Jayfeather answers very cheesily.

Firestar is too busy glomping Chuck Norris to answer… ANSWER: he has to many…. Yes he misses Ravenpaw….

"There are other villans," Tigerstar snorts. "Obviously more than me and my husband Scourge!" He blushes realizing what he says and then runs away.

"I'd be a hero and part of StarClan!" Ashfur proclaims.

"You'd never be a hero in my eyes," Owlie hisses. "Trying to kill off Jayfeather…"

"No and no," Brightheart shrugs.

"PLEASE LET CLOUDTAIL ANSWER IN ONE WORDDD! I'M TRYING TO HURRY! DX" OwlCookies begs and whines like a 5 year old.

(CLOUDTAIL LEFT?) "I fell in love with Brightheart because she has a beautiful personality that others don't see. No! I would NEVER cheat on her!"

"I am both. My motives. You don't need to know them," Sol slyly answers.

"He attacked me by surprise," Spottedleaf says.

"Cuz Stormfurs cool like that. No, not really. Maybe. My place is a hunter. (A/N I really dunno…) I dunno. Actually, I think I might. No, they don't talk about it," Brook answers. (sorry if I missed any. I'm kinda short sighed right now…)

"No, actually, I was just sad," Stormfur shrugs.

"Yes, I still grieve for her loss. Yes, I would! We've been best friends for so long I've lost count on the moons. NO I'M NOT! Uh…uh… I dunno…." Graystripe answers.

"No," Scourge sighs. "I don't really care anymore."

"Cuz…." Squirrelflight whimpers. "She's my sister…"

"Who knows?" Brambleclaw shrugs.

"I really don't know. But right now I have to deal with my kits!" Leafstar exclaims.

"Have sight and lose my abilities once the prophecy is fulfilled, until then, I'll keep my abilities and stay blind," Jayfeather answers.

"Yes…" Lionblaze frowns.

"But I'm Catholic…" Owlie mutters.

"THE NEXT QUESTION IS FROM… Shimmertail!" Neyio exclaims.

**To Tigerstar: Hi! You and Hawkfrost are my favorite characters, just gonna go ahead and say that. I was wondering: do you consider yourself a ThunderClan cat or a ShadowClan cat, seeing as you lived in both?**

To Hawkfrost: Hey! As I mentioned above, you're one of my favorite characters. Did you fake the sign from StarClan only to gain power in the Clan, or did you want to help out your sister too? Love ya like a brother!

To Sol: Does anything make you angry? I mean, you got annoyed one time in the entire series, and it lasted for like a second.

To OwlCookies and Neiyo (well, it's more of an announcement than a question, but whatever): My cat Lizzie had her kittens! Six of them! Their names are (draws in deep breath) Stripes/Tigerkit, Joker/Patchkit, Bella/Ravenkit, Legolas/Blackkit, Rosa/Rosekit, and Sonya/Emberkit! Gosh, that's a lot of kittens!

To Firestar: You're going to make the kittens honorary Clan members, or else I'll tell Sandstorm that Spottedleaf still stalks you in your dreams.

To Poppyfrost: BERRYNOSE? REALLY? WHY?

And finally, to the magnificent, amazing, all-knowing prince of awesome, the big tom himself, JAYFEATHER: Do you like chocolate? Have some! *throws a box of chocolate to him* Have you ever considered telling Cinderheart about being reincarnated?

"I consider myself ShadowClan," Tigerstar says.

"I consider myself RiverClan," Hawkfrost answers.

"To gain power!" Hawkfrost exclaims evilly.

"No." That was Sol's very lame answer.

"KITTY!" Owlie exclaims in cute mode.

"O-Ok!" Firestar eeps.

"CUZ HE'S FRICKIN HOT!" Poppyfrost screams back all Barbie-girl like.

"No! I DON'T WANT YOUR CHOCOLATE! And no," Jayfeather answers.

"AND THE NEXT QUESTION IS FROM…. Goldenstar! ….Again…" Owlie announces.

**Sorry, but I wish to apologize real quick and add a question. The story that sky-something mentioned is not the one I ranted about. The one he/she mentioned is better.**

**Question for Owlie and Neiyo: Do you think I'm a guy or a girl?**

"I think AND KNOW, you're a girl," Owlie and Neiyo say.

"This next question is from…. Tacos are the BEST!" Jayfeather says slowly trying to annoying Owlie.

**I was to lazy to log in... Here's questions:**

Oakheart and Redtail-how did u feel when Tigerstar lied about your death?

Firestar-Stop cryin! U cry more than my cousin does! Otherwise here is a cookie!

Jayfeather-Since I almost have no idea who u r here's a cookie!

Sandstorm-In Firestar's Quest did you hear what Spottedleaf said to Firestar when she told u how to cure rat bites?

Yellowfang-Do u ever wished that u never fell in love with Raggedstar?

Squirrelflight-Pushes off a cliff* LIVE UP TO UR NAME AND FLY!

Bluestar-Let's say I locked Oakheart in a cage with 100 badgers would u save him?

Spottedleaf-Why is almost any cat that is worthless become a medicine cat? Think-Cinderpelt, Jayfeather, Yellowfang and now probably Brairlight)

Lionheart-Do u like cheese? Cause I do!

Ravenpaw-We all know u r gay! U never fell in love with a she-cat and never tried to look for one. Now go make out with Barley ;)

Barley-U OLD! O.o

One-eye-How did u die?

Brightheart-Did u ever love Swiftpaw before the "accident"? (I think Erin Hunter kills all the apprentices because she can't think of warrior names for them)

Hooray for many questions!

"I wanted to strangle him!" Oakheart and Redtail screeches.

"WHITE CHOCOLATE MACADAMIA?" Firestar exclaims. "GEE THANKS!" He eats the cookie right out of Tacos are the BEST's hand.

"… NO! I DON'T EAT TWOLEG FOOD!" Jayfeather growls.

"No…" Sandstorm then glares at Firestar.

"Yes…" Yellowfang sighs.

"AHHHHHHHHHHHH!" Squirrelflight falls down the cliff and explodes.

Owlie sighes. "I got it…." She murmurs going down to the cliff and resurrecting the flightless cat-squirrel.

"YES!" Bluestar exclaims.

"I dunno," Spottedleaf shrugs.

"Er… no. I've never actually HAD cheese," Lionheart answers O.O

"EXCUSE MEEE? How did you know my secret?" Ravepaw gasps.

"Thank…you…?" Barley…says…

"By dying," One-eye scoffs.

"Uh… PERSONAL QUESTIOn!" Brightheart exclaims while running away.

"The next question is from Sparkheart of Thunderclan," Owlie announces.

**Yes! Im finally reviewing. After endless hours of reasing the first 9 chapters! Woo. Ok Sorry xD Im like..I dunno xD**

OK QUESTIONS!

Jayfeather- Its called Ask Jayfeather, are you upset that everybody is asking every other cat questions! I mean- hello. Your suppose to be the star along with Owlie and Neiyo!

Owlie- (Not a question) your exactly like me in real life. EEK! I LUFF YOU:DD

Brambleclaw- NOBDOY ASKS YOU ANY QUESTIONS. Poor you ): I luff you though! But be with Squirrelflight before I die of old age!

Lionblaze- LIONBLAZE. YOUR AWESOME:D AND I LOVE CINDERXLION:) Okay..Question- Do you like, love Dovepaw ?

Dovepaw- Why do you like Justine Beaver! Next thing we know, shes gonna be obsessed with Rebecca Black!

Ivypaw- I want your name to be Ivysong..What do you think about that?

Sandstorm- FAVORITE:D NOW, Will you beat up Spottedleaf for me. And Neiyo- DONT BREAK IT UP:D

Brightheart- Why did you choose Cloudtail? I mean I know hes epic but why..?

Firestar- -.- Im upset with you now,

Hollyleaf- *glares at her and ties her up and throws her into dark closet which she falls down into a dark hole at the bottom that never ends and locks the door* ..That was for you Owlie:)

Leafpool - Would you be a popstar one day..I can imagine you singing Kelly Clarkson O_O

Squirrelflight- Yes! Your awesome:) Hehe:) Not a question

OH JAYFEATHER- ...Can I take away your eye site so you be like, less hyper and stuff? Its funnier when your crabby. hehe Crabby

o:

Tigerstar: BAD KITTy! *Hits Tigerstar after he just failed after the fight*

Oakheart: THANK YOU FOR BEING IN LOVE WITH BLUEFUR/STAR:D

Jayfeather- Am I asking a lot of questions..and..CinderxLion or HeatherxLion?

Ravenpaw: Come on...Admit your love to Barley, or are you secretly in love with Sandstorm? Eww, shes not your type o_o

Nightcloud: Hey, Can you go die..like forever? Even if Superleigh50 pretty much already killed you.

Tawnypelt: ..Do you hate your daddy even after you left your brother in the big fight in 'The Darkest Hour' EVEN AFTER BRAMBLECLAW/PAW had said

'Tawnypaw! What are you doing? You're a ThunderClan cat-come b back to us!'

On page 223 of 'The Darkest Hour', which is the final first series book of the very original warrior cats book before Midnight, paragraph 52 of the Chapter 21. So much pain was brought to your brother and you just LEAVE? Yup- I see how you are..

Byez~ I luff you, you awesome Owlie...and Neiyo..AND JAYFEATHER!

"… I don't know… Owlie and Neiyo said it was ok to ask other cats questions, but I have to agree with what you're saying," Jayfeather shrugs. Secretly, blood lust in radiating in Owlie and Neiyos direction.

"AWWW :D I FEEL LUFFED!" Owlie exclaims happily.

"Er… uh… ok," Brambleclaw says.

"As a clan mate yes. As a family member, yes. As a mate, NO," Lionblaze answers.

"OMG I MUST CHECK OUT REBECCA BLACK!" Dovepaw exclaims.

"Pretty!" Ivypaw smiles. "But sadly it's going to be Ivypool…."

"Gladly!" Sandstorm grins evilly while EVILLY licking her lips. After her battle cry, she pummels into Spottedleaf and they begin beat the [insert bad word here] out of eat other.

Neiyo shrugs. "This is a good one."

"Because.. he's… AWESOME!" Brightheart exclaims trying to make her point.

Firestar is to0 busy noming on a cookie to notice the hate….

"YAYZ!" Owlie exclaims happily.  
"LET ME GO!" Hollyleaf screeches.

"Uhm….?" Leafpool questions. O_O

"Cool! :D" Squirrelflight cheers.

"MY EYE SIGHT HAS ALREADY BEEN TAKEN BACK ANYWAY!" Jayfeather growls angrily.

Tigerstar begins bawling. "IT HURTS! OWWY!" he screams.

"Oh…uh… ok!" Oakheart says.

"CinderXLion," Jayfeather says. "It's better that way…" Secretly, we all know Jayfeather just wants Heathertail(that's her name right?) for himself…

"I ADMIT IT! I LOVE BARELY!" Ravenpaw eeks.

Nightcloud is already dead…

"No…" Tawnypelt says.

"NEXT QUESTION! Is from jayfeathertail," Neiyo announces.

**Hello! On with the questions!**

: Wow...just...wow. Still? I have evidence that you have a burning pasion to kill Firestar so stop trying to avoid it.

: I give up. Do whatever you want now. You are no longer on my favorites list. *shuns Graystripe*

: *sees a random person in the audience wearing a navy blue shirt* Hey Jayfeather! Look! Navy Blue! *points*

: Yes. I am right. Thanks for admitting it. So when are you going to jump of a cliff and land in the middle of the camp screaming about dolphins?

: U iz a beeg fot loozer. Whiy iz u shuch a beeg fot loozer?

: Could you read what I wrote above? If so, what did it say?

: What about you? If so, what did it say?

: What fun are you if you wont let anyone kill you? Will you please go and kill yourself if you wont let anyone else do it?

, Leafpool, Jayfeather: Would any of you actually want to kill Breezepelt? Be honest.

: Come out here and answer a question for me, will ya? How are you standing here onstage as Cinderpelt if you have been reincarnated into Cinderheart?

: Are you coconut? I think you are.

: How did you NOT know that Sguirrelflight was lying to you about Hollyleaf, Lionblaze, and Hollyleaf being your kits? Are you that stupid?

: I have a random question to ask you: Veistu hvaða tungumál þetta er?

: Do you know that Sorreltail hates your guts?

: Did you know that you hate Brackenfurs guts? Well, you do now because I said so.

: Do you miss Cherry and Boris?

: How many more kits will you have? If the answer is none, then why are you still hiding out in the nursery all the time? If I remember, you were trained as a warrior.

: Did you ever like Bluestar? Like, ya know, like like?

: How do you feel about the fact that your younger brother became leader and you didn't?

: Why you so stoo-pid? And dumb? And annoying? And just all around lame and uncool?

: Why did you turn so uncool. Firestar was one of your best friends for the longest time ever. How dare you diss him. Only I get to do that.

: Are you planning to kill off Leafpool, Jayfeather, and Lionblaze?

: You left Thunderclan to join your father, your father died and you stayed with Shadowclan, you went on the journey to the sun-drown-place and still stayed with Shadowclan when the clans split into their new territories, when Shadowclan became corrupt you brought you and your kits to Thunderclan and begged to be let in, Shadowclan gets rid of Sol and you run right back to them without a second look towards your brother. Why is your loyalty so split? Just pick one! Are you Thunder or Shadow!

: Are you real? Will you ever be real, or are you a figment of my imagination?

: Because of your power, are you immortal?

: Why did you fall off the mountain? Were you really that stupid to walk so close to the edge?

: Why wont you believe Flamepelt? He is right you know.

: Why did you not let Jayfeather save you-know-who in Night Whispers?

Moon: If you really loved Jays Wing and he didn't disappear at the beginning of the journey to the mountains, would you have had kits together?

/Neiyo: What is the most amount of questions you have gotten in one review? Did I beat that high score?

"I DON'T WANT TO KILL FIRESTAR! HE'S MY LEADER! DEAL WITH IT!" Brightheart screams extremely angry and annoyed.

"THANK YOU!" Graystripe rolls his eyes.

"OMSC WHERE!" Jayfeather exclaims. Then he flushes. "Er.. uh… I didn't do that! T-That was… uh…" he faints momentarily…

"You wish," Lionblaze hisses.

"I'M NOT A BIG FAT LOSER! DX" Firestar whines.

"It says… 'You is a big fat loser. Why is you such a big fat loser?' But with better grammar it's… 'You are a big fat loser. Why are you such a big fat loser?'" Owlie grins.

"Exactly what Owlie said," Neiyo shrugs.

"Dream on you dumb twoleg," Breezepelt growls. (NO OFFENCE INTENDED! BLAME BREEZEPELT!)

"Yes!" the three cats exclaim.

"By just being awesome like that!" Cinderpelt exclaims.

"No. I am a warrior," Hollyleaf says WITHOUT SCREAMING.

"I JUST DIDN'T!" Brambleclaw hisses. "AND NO I'M NOT STUPID!" It seems Hollyleafs screaming got passed on Brambleclaw… :P

"It is Icelandic. I never knew that was a language, but it is," Jayfeather answers with a smug smirk.

"WAAHHH? REALLY? DX" Good job. You have just ruined Brackenfur's hopes and dreams…

"Uh… WHY?" Sorreltail rolls her eyes exasperated.

"In a sense I guess," Sandstorm answers. Well, that's what she would have answer despite being in a huge she-cat fight with Spottedleaf who was at the moment, beating the [insert swear word here] out of her.

"I'll do what I like!" Ferncloud huffs.

"No," Crookenstar answers.

"It was UNFAIR because _I_ wanted to be leader but NOOOO the guy with the deformity had to be chosen! It was like… NOT. COOL!" Oakheart complains.

"I'm not. You're just lesser than I am," Hawkfrost answers sarcastically while smirking.

"Because WindClan cats are like that!" Onestar exclaims.

"YES! I MUST! CROW-CROW IS MINE FOREVER!" Nightcloud screams from a place further away from the Dark Forest and StarClan.

"I HAVE A QUESTION!" Owlie exclaims. "When you die, are you going to StarClan or the Dark Forest?" she asks Nightcloud.

"STARCLAN!"

"You wish," some of the audience snickers.

"Uh… UH…." Tawnypelt cannot answer. She's just like that…

"No. I am not real. I am only a figment of your imagination…." The fantasized Dreampelt answers.

"I doubt I'm immortal," Lionblaze scoffs.

"Sure, let's go with that," Smokepaw rolls his eyes.

"Who's Flamepelt? I only know a Flametail…" Littlecloud says confused.

"Because Jayfeather would have died and if he did, the prophecy would never be completed," Rock simply states.

"Who knows…" Half Moon frowns.

"For now you probably did. I don't count," Owlie says. "But there is a question from Patchkit and THAT one is long. I haven't answered it yet but s/he asked about the alphabet so…"

"AND THE NEXT QUESTION IS FROM… NerdPrincess101!" Jayfeather announces.

**New chapter! *dances and sings happily***  
**Jayfeather- I just realized I spelled your name wrong in my last review. Oops... And suck it up. I don't weigh THAT much.**

Cloudtail- *giggles and glomps the fluffy cat* I luffles you! And brightheart! SHARE THE LUFFLENESS!

Owlie- yeah, I was limping for about three days. Now I can finally walk, though. So, I'm kind of copying another reviewer here, though I can't remember who. How old do you and Neiyo think I am?

Neiyo- *hands bombs* Just don't kill anybody, okay?

Firestar- Aww, don't cry! You remind me of my mom's cat! Here, Chuck's okay! *gives Chuck Norris back to Firestar and all them*

Sandstorm- OKAY! *the magic fairy that granted Jayfeather sight drags Spottedleaf to the Dark Forest by her tail*

Spottedleaf- Yeah, I'm not a big fan.

Okay, see you later!

"You don't know how much MUCH is…" Jayfeather shudders.

"….." Cloudtail has been knocked out.

"Hm…. Maybe about… 14? ABOUT?" Owlie shrugs.

"Can't assure you on that." Neiyo then proceeds to lick her lips evilly. (Like Pride from FMA O_O)

"YAYZAFOO!" Firestar exclaims happily.

After the long battle, Sandstorm is relieved that she can finally stop getting her [insert swear word] kicked…

"THE NEXT QUESTION IS FROM… Fanfictionfan0106," Jayfeather announces yet again…

**Hello! It's Willowsong!**

Owlcookies, Neiyo: Will you be my friends?

Brightheart: What's it like to be scarred after what the dogs did to you? Do you miss your brother, Swiftpaw?

Jayfether: Has there ever been any compettion between you and your littermates?

Lionblaze: Will you kill Berrynose? Please...*gets big, cute puppy pout eyes* I don't like Berrynose!

Berrynose: DIE! And is it true that you are cheating on Poppyfrost with the spirit of Honeyfern?

Spiderleg: Do you even love your kits or Daisy?

Flametail: Why did you have to die?

Firestar: Do you love Sandstorm, Spottedleaf, or both more?

Spottedleaf, Hawkfrost: I was wondering...if you two fight who will win?(I bet it would be Spottedleaf).

Everybody: If you think Chuck Norris Rocks...say yay!

I'll be back next chapter! See ya!

"YES! I OPENLY ENJOY KNEW FRIENDS SEEING AS HOW I'M SUCH A LONER AT SCHOOL AT TIMES! XD" Owlie exclaims happily.

"No." Of course, you would expect Neiyo to say that.

"It's painful… And yes, I miss Swiftpaw a lot," Brightheart answers looking down sadly.

"Yes," Jayfeather rolls his eyes.

"Sure," Lionblaze shrugs. Instantly, he goes to Berrynose who is STILL looking at himself in the mirror and kills him.

Berrynose is being sent to the Dark Forest…

"….. Who knows…" Spiderleg slyly says obviously trying to avoid the questin.

"Because Erin Hunter said so," Flametail frowns.

"I LOVE CHUCK NORRIS MORE!" Firestar exclaims.

Of course we all know it's Spottedleaf….

75% of the audience says, "YAY!"

Firestar says, "ZOMG YES!"

"The next question is from Maplestar NightClan-Dapplespot," Neiyo yawns.

**I still love ya like a brother Jayfeather! So here are some questions!**

All for Jayfeather:

What is your favourite movie?

What is your favourite book?

What is the best part of being a medicine cat?

(random question)Do you like pie?

Still love ya like a brother!

~Maplestar

"None at the moment. Warriors of course! Nothing. No," Jayfeather answers getting more and more annoyed as time passes by.

"Next question. The infamous Patchkit… LOL Patchkit came back," Owlie laughs.

**Forgive me for forgetting, but I'm now addicted to a website called mweor. It's GREAT. But more for little kids. Today is... DOUBLE QUESTIONS!**

For Jayfeather:

Would you like to go to school?

Who is your mother?

How did you feel when you realized Leafpool was your mother?

Do you like eggs?

What's your favorite letter?

Do you like your brother?

If you had to mate, who would you mate with?

Who is Goldenstar?

Who is Tigerstar?

Do you have Facebook?

Do you have WarriorsBook?

Are you green?

What's your favorite fresh-kill?

Did you miss me?

Do you know many spices?

Do you like the letter A?

Do you like the letter B?

Do you like the letter C?

Do you like the letter D?

Do you like the letter E?

Do you like the letter F?

Do you like the letter G?

Do you like the letter H?

Do you like the letter I?

Go you like the letter J?

Do you like the letter K?

Do you like the letter L?

Do you like the letter M?

Do you like the letter N?

Do you like the letter O?

Do you like the letter P?

Do you like the letter Q?

Do you like the letter R?

Do you like the letter S?

Do you like the letter T?

Do you like the letter U?

Do you like the letter V?

Do you like the letter W?

Do you like the letter X?

Do you like the letter Y?

Do you like the letter Z?

How did you fall in love with the stick?

You love the stick.

Am I annoying you?

What was the most embarrassing thing that ever happened to you?

"I forgot who asked me the question of if they beat the record, but THIS review my friend, is about 45 questions… better luck next time," Owlie says.

"No. My biological is Leafpool. I felt like wanted to strangle her. No. None. Yes. No one. Goldenstar is someone. Tigerstar is someone. No. No. OBVIOUSLY NOT. Something. Actually, kinda. Wait… what? NO. NO. NO. NO. NO. NO. NO. NO. NO. NO. NO. NO. NO. N-O. STOP ASKING ME. I DON'T LIKE Q. OR R. OR S. I DON'T CARE! WHAT WRONG WITH YOU! NO. NO. NO. AND FOR THE LAST TIME NOOOOOO!" Obviously, Jayfeather is going through some sort of girl puberty and is PMSing. "I HAVE NEVER FALLEN IN LOVE WITH THE STICK! I DO NOT! YES THE THE EXTREME!" So much in fact, steam is shooting out from Jayfeathers ears. Poor kitty… "NFIAEBFOWNF YOU!"

"Ookk…. While Neiyo tries calming him d- Er… well slapping him, let's continue with the next question from… Mothstar!" Owlie announces with multiple sweat drops as she sees what is going on between Neiyo and Jayfeather…

**The last one was longer but still funny! Now I STILL don't have any questions prepared but I'll make them less boring than the last one!**

To Briarlight: Admit it-YOU HAVE A CRUSH ON JAYFEATHER, DON'T YOU?

To Honeyfern: *throws her off a cliff* THAT'S FOR LOVING BERRYNOSE!

To Honeyfern:: *picks her up off the smashed ground and mends her* Better? I liked you but then you fell in love with Berrynose but you helped him not be so arrogant so...I'm confusing myself. *jumps onto random mattress*

To Owlie: *silently gives her a lifetime supply of huge chocolate chip cookies*

"NOOOOOOOOO! I DO NOT! I DO NOT HAVE A CRUSH ON JAYFEATHER [swear word here] IT!" Briarlight screams.

"AHHHHHHHHHH!" Honeyfern joins Squirrelflights pool of blood in which Owlie had just gotten to cleaning tools…

Honeyfern is dead now…

"YES!" Owlie exclaims noming all the cookies in a second.

"The next question is from… uh…. nobody…" Owlie says O.o "If you're going to anonymous, just at least make a better name…"

**Firestar: who did you love more, sandstorm, cinderpelt, or spottedleaf?**

Tigerstar: are you mad at scourge for killing you?

Jayfeather:Can you still see?

Brambleclaw:aRe you still mad at Squirrelflight

"CHUCK NORRIS!" Firestar exclaims using Chuck Norris as a shield from Sandstorms death glare.

"Yes! How could he! I thought we had something special! DX" Tigerstar whines.

"WHAT DO YOU THINK?" Jayfeather snaps.

"No," Brambleclaw shrugs.

"NEXT QUESTION! Is from Oakshine its really meeee," Jayfeather growls.

**My questions:**

Thanks for answering a pawful of questions!

Rowanclaw: HEHEHE HE-SHE! *pokes out tongue and runs away*

Sol: *pokes shoulder with magic claw* IVE GOT SOME MAGIC IN MEEEEE...

and also: Do you like freckles because if you dooooooo... RAWR

Hollyleaf: I think you are so awesome (for the third time.) lets hang and follow the warrior code and stuff x3

Jayfeather: Hey Jay...how do you feel about Hollyleaf "Dying"?

Sol: was it you who left out the fresh kill and the Herbs?

Swiftpaw: I made a whole animation about you...whatcha say?

Cloudtail: Your tail is Fluffy

Barkface: How did you get your name? Was your mentor on Catnip or something?

yellowfang: You look excactly like me...cool eh?  
  
**Too many questions...*flops to the ground* THANKS**

"Erm…. Riiggghhht…" Rowanclaw says awkwardly.

"….." Sol rolls his eyes and pads away murmuring that he doesn't have any time for this.

"YES! LET'S!" Hollyleaf exclaims getting her usual scream back.

"…. No comment…" Jayfeather says. But we all know he's mentally having a party.

Sol is long gone by now to answer….

"Can I see?" Swiftpaw exclaims grinning.

"Thank…you…?" Cloudtail says.

"Because my… fur… looks like… bark…?" Barkface says.

"Not really," Yellowfang shrugs.

"The next questions… is from…" Owlie huffs. "The Grand King of Awesome…" Owlie collapses due to the stress of too many questions… (still love ya guys tho :3)

**Me again!**

Jay (yes, I shall call you that from now on): I have decided that your surname shall be Ryuzaki! And you have silver hair! And you go to high school in Chicago and hit people who make fun of you! What do you think?

Tigerstar: Stop raping other cats; they didn't do a thing to you!

Firestar: You are far too overrated.

Hollyleaf: I hate you so much. *Gives happy pills* Now, act nice or Chuck Norris shall kill you.

Chuck Norris: Kill Firestar for me. And Hollyleaf too if she gets annoying.

Ravenpaw, Barley: How do you cope with your deep romantic feelings toward each other when the Erin Hunters won't let you be in love?

Breezepelt: Lighten up for a change.

Flametail: I was thinking of an idea for a fic in which you and Jayfeather realized your love for each other, but then you went and got killed in Night Whispers. Are you still angry at the Erins?

Midnight: Have the llamas visited your dreams lately? No? Good.

"Are you another one of those anime freaks? Because Owlie here already draws me as a human in anime form… " Jayfeather sighs.

"OH! OMG! Whoever asked me to see a picture of the human Jayfeather… sorry… maybe I'll get it tomorrow… I kinda forgot…" Owlie apologizes.

"I don't RAPE them. I KILL them," Tigerstar whines. "BIG DIFFERENCE!"

Firestar begins crying like a baby. "CHUCKY! S/HE'S BEING MEAN TO MEEE!"

Chuck Norris remains vigilant….

"I-I don't know…" Ravenpaw flattens his ears.

"Dumb twolegs!" Breezepelt rolls his eyes.

And just for the heck of it, Owlie throws Breezepelt down a cliff making him explode and joining Squirrelflight and Honeyfern.

"Join the club…" Honeyferns spirit mutters to Breezepelts'.

"No thank you!" Flametail exclaims. "No, I'm not."

"Er…" Midnight makes a deep silence.

"Next… question… from…. Noooooooooooooooooooooooooooo," Owlie manages to announce.

**Hola from Cookie Land.**

Cloudtail, Mothwing: How do you feel about being atheists?

Rowanclaw: I respect you, even if you did have a shoddily covered-up sex-change operation.

Briarlight: Do you enjoy being scarred for life? I do! Nyahahahahahahahhahaa!111111111111111!

Scourge: Why are you so evil?

Midnight: The llamas should have shown up by now. I want to talk to Mr. Asher. He's the one in the magenta hat.

Jayfeather: Have you ever fallen in love?

Spottedleaf: Have you ever fallen in love with Jayfeather:

Flametail, Kestrelflight: Go make out at the next Gathering so I can be the first to write a slash fic about you two.

Adieu from Waffle Land!

"Nothing," the two athesists say in unison.

Rowanclaw sweat drops.

"No…" Briarlight whimpers.

"Because I'm awesome like that," Scourge rolls his eyes.

"…." Midnight sighs annoyed. "Twolegs…"

"NOOOO! WHY CAN'T YOU PEOPLE UNDERSTAND?" Jayfeather hollers.

"NO WTSC?" Spottedleaf exclaims.

"I'll pass," they both say.

"WAIT. I THOUGHT IT WAS COOKIE LAND! DX" Owlie whines. "Well anyway, the next question is from Kool-Aid-Dude."

**Here are the questions!**

Ferncloud/Dustpelt-If you couldn't have kits for 12 moons, would you go insane?

Hollyleaf-If the warrior code didn't exist anymore, would you go insane?

Lionblaze-If prey could speak cat, what would you do?

Leafpool-Did you ever think about killing yourself?

Firestar-Have you ever had a tree climbing incident?

Rowanclaw-If everyone was like you, what sort of messed up world would we be living in?

"Yes!" Ferncloud exclaims horrified.

"NOOOOOOO! NOT THE WARRIOR CODE!" Hollyleaf exclaims terrified.

"Nothing?" Lionblaze shrugs.

"No…" Geez people! Leafpool isn't as suicidal as you think!

"Noooo because Chuck Norris is here to protect me!" Firestar says looking up at him with a great deal of admiration.

"VERY messed up," Rowanclaw says O_O

"The next question is from…. Iceshadow of ShadowClan," OwlCookies announces.

**Hi! Here are my questions:**

Okay, to owlie: can I make an ask a cat show if I call it "Ask any warrior"? Pleeeasase?

To graystripe: Are you aware that you have only fallen in love outside the warrior code?

To Neiyo: LOL. Why are you on here again?

To Jayfeather: I like your sister... but not your brother... what about you?P.S. Don't say anything about Hollyleaf because then I'll have ta kill ya, Owlie. (jk)

To Lionblaze: LOL I don't like you.

"Knock yourself out," Owlie shrugs. "But you know… that's pretty much what I'm doing…"

"Yes…" Graystripe looks down in shame. SHUNNN….

"Because I was dragged her by Owlies plot bunnies," Neiyo sighs.

"NO WORRIES!" Owlie exclaims.

"I'm just awesome," Jayfeather smirks.

"YES YOU ARE MY LUFFABLE KITTY!" Owlie then proceeds to glomp the emo and depressing cat.

"…." Lionblaze rolls his eyes.

"Next question is from Ninja shadow cat sees you," the crew has to announce.

**for cloudtail i have two**

who does he like best daisy or brightheart

and why doesin't belive in starclan

to mothwing

why do you no belive in starclan

to bluestar

do you like thrushpelt

"…. I like them both…." Cloudtail says. "StarClan isn't real!"

"Because I said so," Mothwing answers.

"No," Bluestar says.

BORING!

"Next question is from Im-a-book-addict," Neiyo says.

**i would 2 say... I LOVE JAYFEATHER!**

jayfeather- I just reaf sign og the moon who do u think is the fourth cat cough hollyleaf will be it cough

"I dunno…." Jayfeather says. (A/N I haven't read it yet so I wouldn't kno…)

"AND THE SECOND TO LAST QUESTION IS FROM… Jayfeather Luva," Owlie cheers.

**Blackstar- If Onestar mated wis a goat would you be jealous?**

Jayfeather- First of all, I LOVE YOU(like a bestest fwend kinda luv).

-Second, would you be mad if Kestrelflight got Willowshine pregnat?

*SPOILER ALERT*

-Third, did you know that there is a chance that Hollyleaf is alive.

Lionblaze- Make Cinder FEEL special.

Firestar- How do you feel knowing that your granddaughter commited suicide?

Leafpool- How did you feel about your daughter commiting suicide and trying to kill you?

ILJ ILJ ILJ ILJ ILJ ILJ ILJ(pm me if you would like to know what ILJ means.)

"No," Blackstar says.

"No. I wouldn't care. UGHH! GRRR! WHY'D SHE HAVE TO BE ALIVE!" Jayfeather… well…. Answers.

"Ok…" Lionblaze says.

"Uh… Sad?" Firestar says.

"…." Leafpool just shrugs.

"It means I love Jayfeather :) thanks for the heads up BTW," Owlie grins.

"And for the VERY LAST QUESTION! Is from Elouise Victoria," Jayfeather says.

**YAAAY! Jay-kun's AWESOME! I LOVE YOU! Okay, fangirl moment over. I have a few questions for you, Jay-kun!**

What do YOU think you'd look like if you were a twoleg?

If you were a twoleg, would you become a doctor?

How are you in twoleg years?

Why is it that, even the show is called 'Ask Jayfeather', many of the clan cats are answering questions?

One final question, and this is directed to the hosts: Do you have a theme song for the show? And if not, what would you want it to be?

~~Elouise Victoria, aka Jynxdance

"….Owlie has a picture… Wanna see?" Jayfeather shudders. "No. I dunno. That question was already answered."

Owlie shrugs. "Don't know. And right now, don't really care."

A moment of silence. "AND FINALLY I'M DONE WITH ALL THOSE QUESTIONS! 22 FRICKIN LONG PAGES! Aryssa must be happy! LOL whatever, BYE! SEE YOU LIKE… NEXT TIME!" Owlie exclaims.


	11. Chapter 11

"Hello! And welcome to another chapter of Ask Jayfeather where (almost) all your questions are answered!" OwlCookies greets as she walked up on stage.

All the background lights dimmed and a slightly bright spotlight made its way to the spazzy girl. Paper in hand, she begins reading with a menacing face.

"One day…" she begins.

The lights turn back on causing the audience to screech and hiss in annoyance of the bright light. "THIS IS ASK JAYFEATHER. NOT A HORROR STORY!" a voice screams.

Everyone turns their heads to the left wall and see's the emo-as-ever Neiyo exasperatedly walk onto the stage with a stack of papers in hand. As she nears Owlie, Neiyo realizes that she was holding the wrong paper. Quickly, she snatches the dark gray piece of paper and tears it into shreads.

"You're reading a page from Light's death note. Here's the real thing," Neiyo nods as she hands OwlCookies the fairly large stack of papers.

Owlie's mouth drops open extremely wide causing her new pair of glasses to fall and shatter. "GEEZ! SO MANY QUESTIONS! Oh well, it's a good day to update!"

As if on cue, the once-happy-when-he-had-sight Jayfeather slowly trudges on stage. It was as if he had chains attached onto him and if he didn't go, he would severely suffer…. DEARLY.

"First question is from a person with no name. Wait… no… at the bottom is says Tanglepaw…." Owlie announces slightly confused.

**Yay!A new chapter!It's me Tanglepaw..again**

Brambleclaw:Why won't you get back with Squrrielflight c'mon!I know you want to!

Breezepelt:I know your all emo and stuff but please be happy!

Leafpool:Thank you for giving birth to Lionblaze and Jayfeather. :)

Firestar:Why were you so obsessed with Spottedleaf?

Tigerstar:You do know that at one point Leopardstar loved you right?

Ivypaw:Do you luv Hawkfrost?

Dovepaw:Is your father Bumblestripe?Im confused on that..

Brook:Did you ever love a cat from your tribe?

Cloudtail:If Brightheart and Swiftpaw loved each other would you be sad?Angry?

Owlie&Neiyo:You to are awesome!*Thats not a question*

Yellowfang:I bet you hate Raggedstar's guts because in the field guide'Secrets of the clans'as soon as Raggedstar saw the kit he didn't care about you.

Mothwing:You don't need to be medicane cat,you don't beleive in StarClan because:

didn't send you a sign that you were an accepted medicane cat...sad.

~Tanglepaw

Brambleclaw sighs. "Fine. If it makes you all happy, Squirrelflight and I will be mates again."

Most of the crowd cheers.

Breezepelt glares at everyone. "No. I will never be happy until everyone dies."

"…You're welcome…?" Leafpool bluntly says.

"Cuz I felt like it!" Firestar squeaks.

"Leopardstar?" Tigerstar snorts. "That loser? No way. I'm waaayy to sexy for her!"

"No," Ivypaw answers rolling her eyes.

"WAAHHH?" Dovepaw gasps. "My father is Birchfall!"

"No…" Brook admits.

"Nope. Not at all," Cloudtail shrugs.

"GEE THANKS!" Owlie grins.

"No, I don't…" Yellowfang says.

"Oh. Ok then," Mothwing shrugs.

"The next question is from Shadowwolf315," Owlie chirps.

**Jayfeather**

whats it like being the only blind sibling? ((even though you're the only important one))

"….. First off, Lionblaze and Hollyleaf are just as important. Even though Hollyleaf scares the guts out of me… It's been too long for me to answer that…" Jayfeather answers.

"The next question is from…. Beckz2000!"

**Jayfeather - Why are you so awesome?**

Jayfeather - Do you regret breaking your stick? (Not because you love it, but because it was important to Rock)

Rock - Are you angry that Jayawesomness broke your stick?

Firestar - Do you use hair dye?

Firestar - If Sandstorm, Spottedleaf and Cinderpelt were hanging from a branch above a pit of poisonous snake and you could only save one, who would you choose?

Jayfeather snorts. "Because I just am. Not really. I sorta regret it, but not really."

Rock has no comment. He is too busy meditating… "AHM…! AHM….!"

"Er… no, I don't use hair dye. I WOULD SAVE CHUCK NORRIS!" Firestar gasps.

"This next question is from The Dark Queen of Insanity," Neiyo announces blandly.

**Gaurdians of Ga'hoole? I LOVE that series! I liked Twilight best… no, the owl, not the books. He amused me. Anyway, have either of you guys seen the movie? I was disappointed.**

To Jayfeather: how would you feel about getting married to a llama-corn?

To Firestar: if you do nothing but eat cookies, scream, and get petted by Norris, aren't you fat?

And that is all! Creator of Gothic Twinkies OUT!

"GYLFIE FTW! The movie was pretty good. Only because of the credits though :] But I really didn't like how Kludd didn't push Soren out of the nest! BUT THE CREDITS WERE SO COOL! YOU HAVE TO ADMIT!" Owlie squeals.

"Why would I- WHAT THE HECK IS A LLAMA-CORN?" Jayfeather growls completely irritated.

"No way!" Firestar snorts while nomming on a cookie. But you can see he has gained over 30 pounds… FATSO SUMO KITTY! Just like Sushi Cat the game! :D

"And this lovely question is from XxPieInYaFacexX

**Heyo! I'm !**

Ok questions for the ever-awesome Jayfeather!

Do you like me now?

Is Cinderheart hot?

If you could have a mate, who would you pick?

Aww not me... JUST KIDDING!

I'm ShadowClan. Now what do you think of me?

If you could kill any one cat from Warriors, who would you pick?

Neiyo: BOOOOOOOOM! Oh look an explosion in the back room! (muahahaha)

Back 2 Jayfeatha

Will you do my homework?

Can you spell ? No I did not copy and paste that, it was from memory.

Do you think I'm a freak?

"Not really. No she is not. No one. Of course not you. I think nothing of you. A lot of people," Jayfeather answers rapidly.

Grinning evilly, Neiyo takes a step out of the room. Silence…. "BWAHAHAHAH!" is heard…

"No. I will not. Cats even write for StarClans sake! Yes. Indeed I think you're a freak," says the awesomeful Jayfeather :]

"The next question is from Nobody," Owlie announces cheerfully.

**It is nobody again with better questions.**

Jayfeather: then do you wish you can see?

Rock: do you wish you can see?

Lionblaze: do yo miss cinder heart

Tallstar: you lost your last life in a stupid way. Birchfall did it when he was a kit.

Owlcookies: I'm trying to think of a better name but I haven't yet

Firestar:(takes chuck Norris away) how do you feel now? (gives him back and gives firestar a white macadamia cookie)what about now

Heavystep: Are you annoyed you died 3 times?

Bramble claw: Do you hate hawkfrost

Jayfeather: Are you always grumpy because you are blind

Blackstar:(throws of cliff) take that!

Next time I review I will have a new name!

"OF COURSE I WISH I COULD SEE," Jayfeather rolls his eyes.

"It matters not to me… AHMM… AHM…." Rock halfly answers as he meditates.

"Yes… I also might Heathertail…" Lionblaze sighs sadly.

"Uhm. Ok," Tallstar murmurs. O.O

"NOOOOOOOOOOOO! CHUCK NORRIS!" a pause… "YAY! CHUCK NORRIS!" That was Firestar in case you people were wondering…

"I didn't die. You just lived to long…" Heavystep slyly says.

"I'm positive…" Owlie giggles.

"Yes DURR WHO WOULDN'T!" Brambleclaw exclaims.

"No I'm grumpy cuz I'm gray- OF COURSE I'M GRUMPY BECAUSE I'M BLIND!" Jayfeather screams.

Blackstar lands near the bodies of every other cat thrown down the cliff.

Owlie rolls her eyes and grabs the nearby shovel. "I got it. The next question is from Red Rose of Love. Go… answer it or sumthin."

Ell0! I am here and ready to roll! I've got many questions today...

**Acorntail:Do you like the color Almond?**

Adderfang:Do you like the color Amaranth?

Adderkit:Do you like the color Amber?

Adderpaw:Do you like the color Amethyst?

Amberclaw:Do you like the color Ao?

Antpelt:Do you like the color Apricot?

Applefur:Do you like the color Aqua?

Archeye:Do you like the color Aquamarine?

Ashfoot:Do you like the color Arsenic?

Ashfur(SC):Do you like the color Asparagus?

Ashfur(TC):Do you like the color Auburn?

Aspentail:Do you like the color Aureolin?

Badgerpaw:Do you like the color Baby blue?

Barkface:Do you like the color Baby blue eyes?

Barley:Do you like the color Baby pink?

Beechfur(RC):Do you like the color Ball blue?

Beechfur(TC):Do you like the color Banana Mania?

Beechpaw(SC):Do you like the color Battleship gray?

Beechstar:Do you like the color Bazaar?

Beetlewhisker:Do you like the color Beau blue?

Bella:Do you like the color Beaver?

Berrynose:Do you like the color Beige?

Billystorm:Do you like the color Bisque?

Birchfall:Do you like the color Bistre?

Birchstar(RC):Do you like the color Bittersweet?

Birchstar(SC):Do you like the color Black?

Birchstar(WC):Do you like the color Blanched Almond?

Bird That Rides the Wind:Do you like the color Bleu de France?

Birdflight:Do you like the color Blizzard Blue?

Birdy:Do you like the color Blond?

Blackbee:Do you like the color Blue?

Blackclaw:Do you like the color Blue(Munsell)?

Blackstar:Do you like the color Blue(NCS)?

Blizzardstar:Do you like the color Blue(pigmint)?

Blossomfall:Do you like the color Blue(RYB)?

Blossomkit(SC):Do you like the color Blue Bell?

Bluestar:Do you like the color Blue Gray?

Bone:Do you like the color Blue-green?

Boulder:Do you like the color Blue-violet?

Boulderpaw:Do you like the color Blush?

Bouncefire:Do you like the color Bole?

Brackenfoot:Do you like the color Bondi blue?

Brackenfur:Do you like the color Boston University Red?

Brackenheart:Do you like the color Brandeis blue?

Brambleberry:Do you like the color Brass?

Brambleclaw:Do you like the color Brick red?

Braveheart:Do you like the color Bright cerulean?

Breezepelt:Do you like the color Bright green?

Briarlight:Do you like the color Bright lavander?

Brick:Do you like the color Bright maroon?

Brightflower:Do you like the color Bright pink?

Brightheart:Do you like the color Bright turquoise?

Brightspirit:Do you like the color Bright ube?

Brightwhisker:Do you like the color Brilliant lavander?

Brindleclaw:Do you like the color Brilliant rose?

Brindleface:Do you like the color Brink pink?

Brindlestar:Do you like the color British racing green?

Broken Shadow:Do you like the color Bronze?

Brokenstar:Do you like the color Brown(traditional)?

Brrok Where Small Fish Swim:Do you like the color Brown(web)?

Brownpaw:Do you like the color Bubble gum?

Bumblestripe:Do you like the color Bubbles?

Buzzardkit:Do you like the color Buff?

Buzzardstar:Do you like the color Bulgarian rose?

These are all the warriors cats from letters a-b and yes these are all real colors. I got them off of 'list of colors- wikipedia'. Have fun answering these questions! This is a total of 65 questions by the way.

"OMG! BADGERPAW! I LUFFLES YOU!" Owlie squeals happily. "Stupid Dorkenstar(Brokenstar)."

Because OwlCookies(Theiving Alchemist) is too lazy to make them all answer in dialogue form, she is just going type something short like this:

There were some yes's and no's and other multiple answers….

"Whoever wants to join the race of asking the most questions, go ahead. But please tell me how many questions there are. The winner so far is Red Rose of Love with 65 questions," Owlie announces. "And the next question is from Fanfictionfan0106(Willowsong)!"

**Hola! It's Willowsong, back for more. I think you're getting to think I'm annoying. Funny thing is, my bes friend annoys me...**

PLEASE THOUROLY READ ALL THE QUESTIONS!:)

I was wondering, who here loves Micheal Jackson? If you do shout your love to him!

Will all the Warrior cats sing Beat It? If you don't lyrics, you can look it up.

Owlie: Will you read and review my fanfics; Warriors Awesome Contests and Spottedkit's Adventurous Destiny? I haven't gotton much on the second one, but I'm working hard and wondered if you'ed read them?

Firestar:*Steals Chuck Norris* If I don't get Micheal Jackson,you can't have your Chuck Norris.

Tigerstar: Don't you know Warriors were once kittypets, rogues and loners?

Goldenflower: Do you regret being with Tigerstar or having his kits?

Scourge: Would you rather sing What A Girl Wants or be a fat, lazy kittypet?

Graystripe: I love you!*wink*

Sandstorm: Do you ever think Firestar loves Spottedleaf more?

Jayfeather: Can you read minds?

How mean can Neiyo get or that just an act?

Lionblaze: If you don't get with Cinderheart, want me? Like I said before, I was born with perfect blend of silver, pale gray, and white tabby fur.

Brightheart, Cloudtail: Will you two ever have anymore kits besides Whitewing?

Whitewing: Are you proud of your daughters?

Dovepaw: Do you love Ivypaw?

Ivypaw: Do you love Dovepaw?

Hollyleaf: Are you ever returning?

Berrynose: I hope you stay dead!*pulls out bomb and blows his remains up* Bwa ha ha ha!

Cherrykit, Molekit: Who do you think you're mentors will be?

I think I've tortured enough cats today. See ya next time! 

Some cats shout out their love to Michael Jackson. Such as…

"YAY! MICHAEL JACKSON!"

Yes, you guessed it! BREEZEPELT!

And just for Willowsong, everyone will sing Beat It.  
**[DISCLAIMER: I DO NOT OWN BEAT IT BY MICHAEL JACKSON! This is a nonprofitable fanfiction and it is not intended to be….]**  
_They told him don't you ever come around here  
Don't wanna see your face, you better disappear  
The fire's in their eyes and their words are really clear  
So beat it, just beat it_

You better run, you better do what you can  
Don't wanna see no blood, don't be a macho man  
You wanna be tough, better do what you can  
So beat it, but you wanna be bad

Just beat it, beat it, beat it, beat it  
No one wants to be defeated  
Showin' how funky and strong is your fight  
It doesn't matter who's wrong or right  
Just beat it, beat it  
Just beat it, beat it  
Just beat it, beat it  
Just beat it, beat it

They're out to get you, better leave while you can  
Don't wanna be a boy, you wanna be a man  
You wanna stay alive, better do what you can  
So beat it, just beat it

You have to show them that you're really not scared  
You're playin' with your life, this ain't no truth or dare  
They'll kick you, then they beat you,  
Then they'll tell you it's fair  
So beat it, but you wanna be bad

Just beat it, beat it, beat it, beat it  
No one wants to be defeated  
Showin' how funky and strong is your fight  
It doesn't matter who's wrong or right

Just beat it, beat it, beat it, beat it  
No one wants to be defeated  
Showin' how funky and strong is your fight  
It doesn't matter who's wrong or right

Just beat it, beat it, beat it, beat it  
No one wants to be defeated  
Showin' how funky and strong is your fight  
It doesn't matter who's wrong or right  
Just beat it, beat it  
Beat it, beat it, beat it

Beat it, beat it, beat it, beat it  
No one wants to be defeated  
Showin' how funky and strong is your fight  
It doesn't matter who's wrong or who's right

Just beat it, beat it, beat it, beat it  
No one wants to be defeated  
Showin' how funky and strong is your fight  
It doesn't matter who's wrong or right

Just beat it, beat it, beat it, beat it  
No one wants to be defeated  
Showin' how funky and strong is your fight  
It doesn't matter who's wrong or right  
Just beat it, beat it  
Beat it, beat it, beat it

Beat it, beat it, beat it, beat it  
No one wants to be defeated  
Showin' how funky and strong is your fight  
It doesn't matter who's wrong or who's right

Just beat it, beat it, beat it, beat it  
No one wants to be defeated  
Showin' how funky and strong is your fight  
It doesn't matter who's wrong or right

Just beat it, beat it, beat it, beat it  
No one wants to be defeated  
Showin' how funky and strong is your fight  
It doesn't matter who's wrong or right

Just beat it, beat it, beat it, beat it  
No one wants to be defeated  
Just beat it, beat it  
Beat it, beat it, beat it

Yep. JUST for Willowsong.

"Already did," Owlie grins.

"NOOOOOOOO!" Firestar bawls.

"Wh-What?" Tears form at the corners of Tigerstars eyes. "WWWAHHH!" he begins crying his eyes out feeling very ashamed.

"YA! And plus, Pinestar, you're dad, he ditched ThunderClan to be a kittypet!"

"No," Golderflower simply answers. "He's mah sexy man."

"I LIKE TO SING SING SING!" Scourge sings.

"Thanks," Graystripe smiles.

Sandstorm hisses. "I used too. But now I KNOW he loves Chuck Norris more."

"No," Jayfeather sighs. "I can only walk in dreams."

….Crickets chirp and you can hear Neiyo in the background beating the snot out of Breezepelt….

Answered?

"No thanks. I'm fine," Lionblaze backs away slowly.

"Who knows," they both shrug.

Whitewing beams. "Yes!"

"As a sister yes," Ivypaw and Dovepaw answer together.

"WARRIOR CODE HERE I COME!" Hollyleaf screams in delight.

Berrynose is no longer in existence… SO DON'T TRY ASKING HIM A QUESTION.

"LIONBLAZE!" the kits squeal.

"Next question is from Kool-Aid-Dude," Owlie announces.

**Well. I have noticed i've been near the bottom for the past 2 chapters. Hurts too :(**

Anyyyyyywayyyyy

Owlcookies-If you choose 5 cats to explode,implode, and explode AGAIN who would they be?

-How do you feel about the letters Q and Z?

Firestar-Do ya know any cuss words? You know? The bad ones? The ones that make kits cry more than Tigerstar's face? AND how many?

-Chuck Norris is to epic for .

Cloudtail-What kind of twoleg food do you like most?

Bluestar-If there was you and Redtail is there a green/something,Orange/something?

Tigerstar-Can you sing The Campfire Song song with Firestar and Scourge?

EVERYONE- If your names was your destiny Lionblaze would be burnt,Cinderheart's heart would be burnt to cinders, and I would eat Owlcookies. How would you all feel? Owlcookies-Since I will eat you what Flavor do ya wanna be?

"BREEZEPELT! BERRYNOSE! CROWFEATHER! Uh…uh…uh… The other two slots are open…" Owlie grins evilly.

In the audience, all the warrior cats back away slowly.

"EWWWW I HATE THOSE LETTERS! LETTER SUCK! I LIKE COLORS! WHO LIKES THE COLOR PURPLE? CUZ I DON'T! I LOVE IT!"

To answer this, Firestar begins swearing like… a donkey. "!#$ %&* $(!" Yep…

"PSHHHT CAT NIP FOR SURE!" Cloudtail snorts.

"Uhm… I don't… know…" Bluestar says.

_Tigerstar: Let's gather round the campfire and sing our campfire song! Our C-A-M-P-F-I-R-E S-O-N-G SONG! And if you don't think we can sing it faster than you're wrong but it'll help if you just sing along!_

_Firestar: Bum..bumm..bum!_

_Scourge: ….. T.T I don't have time for this_

_Tigerstar: C-A-M-P-F-I-R-E-S-O-N-G SONG! C-A-M-P-F-I-R-E-S-O-N-G SONG! FIRESTAR!_

_Firestar: C-A-MP- SONG- SONG!_

_Tigerstar: Scourge!_

_Scourge: ….-.-_

_Tigerstar: IT'LL HELP! IT'LL HELLP IF YOU JUST SING A LONG! OH YEAH!_

_Broken instruments…._

"I WANNA BE CHOCOLATE CHIP FLAVORED!" OwlCookies exclaims.

"ANYWHOO! The next question is from sky651!"

**I think I should ask hmm... SMUDGE questions**

1. Where are you?

2. Are you fat?

3. Do you miss Rusty?

are you lazy?

"I am somewhere. Yes I am fat. Yes I do. Because I said so…"

Wind blows tumbleweed across the stage.

"BOO-RING! Next question is from Rockstar of Thunderclan! Like the new name!" Owlie announces.

**Its nobody again with a new name!I forgot to ask this**

Tigerstar: If Scourge is your husband are you the wife?

I won't review until a new chapter.

"No!" Tigerstar exclaims. "We're husband and husband!"

"Next question is from Mothstar!"

**XD I'll be your friend too! And hehehehe i like pie.**

To Hawkfrost: I made you sing "U Can't Touch This" on mah show. How do you feel about that?

Brokenstar: *turns him into a spider* HA NOW YOU'RE A SPIDER AND I CAN SMUSH YOU! *smoosh*

Yellowfang: Why are you the only Persian in Warriors?

To Chuck Norris: How do you feel about being luffled by a quite insane cat?

To Cinderheart: LOVE LIONBLAZE AGAIN YOU MEANIE!

To Owlie & Neiyo: Did you read Sign of the Moon yet? I know their warrior names! Wanna know? Okay, i'll make tons of dots so when you see the dots you can scroll until you get to big sentences again.

...

...

...

...

...

...

...

Ivypool and Dovewing

...

...

...

...

...

...

Okay, I just had to do that. I just read the book and sorry if I spoiled it for you guys. *hides under bed from fans of this story*

"W…T….SC?" Hawkfrost says. O.o

"I'm… Persian…?" Yellowfang asks.

WHERE THE HECK DO YOU GET THIS STUFF? I mean seriously! Someone even said that Jayfeather was like… British or something!

Chuck Norris cannot answer….

"Oh! Ok!" Cinderheart gasps.

"Nope. Didn't read it yet but I really wanna! You didn't have to censor it.. I already knew their names would be that. Like, EVERYONE did!" Owlie exclaims. "So… The next question is from Maplestar NightClan-Dapplespot."

**So here are some more questions! All for you Jayfeather ma brotha!**

1:What do you like most about Lionblaze?

2:What do you like most about Hollyleaf?

3:Do you like me, you know like a sibling?

4:Do I annoy you?

5:Do you think I'm nice? I mean it would probly be a yes since I'm always using a friendly tone!

6:Why did you change your mind about being a warrior? Did Spottedleaf make you or did you believe Leafpool in the first place?

7:Why are you so awesome?

8:What is your favourite warriors book?

9:Would you like there to be a warriors movie?

10:(random question) What is your favouruite TWOLEG food?

-

There u go! Still luv ya like a brother Jayfeather!

"He's my brother and he's cool like that. Nothing. No I do not. Not at the moment. Couldn't really say. Not really. Sure. Blah blahhh… I'm awesome cuz I'm awesome like that. All the ones that I'm in. Sure, but I better be cool. I have none," Jayfeather answers all boringly.

"Next question is from Sparkleheart of ThunderClan," Owlie yawns all sleepily.

**Yay! more:)**

*Sigh*

Ivypool: I know its Ivypool now D: I read spoilers because MY MOM WONT GET ME THE NEWEST BOOK. So im re-reading Midnight... :)

Tawnypelt: Are you SERIOUS! Really TawnypelT? Pfft- Forgot you. AFTER EVERYTHING HE'S DONE TO YOU? REALLY? Really ? -.-

Jayfeather: Sorry about your eyesight? o.o..

Jayfeather(..again?): o: HeatherxJay..Well its better than HeatherxBreeze for shure..So..I might go with it... o.o

Dovewing (GOD I LOVE THAT NAME): Crappercakes ! LIONBLAZE YOUR FRIEND HERE IS GONNA BE SINGING FRIDAY ALL NIGHT LONG IN THE WARRIORS' DEN...!

Leafpool: ...Your awkward a lot, arent you?

Brightheart: You hesitated o.o

~Meh. I lazy so I like gonna stop asking questions.. o.o

…. THOSE WEREN'T ACTUAL QUESTIONS O.O So… none of the warriors could actually answers. Thanks for the review though!

"Here's some more questions from Kool-Aid-Dude," Owlie says.

**A few days later I realize Owl Cookies would taste disgusting! Like Owls and Cookies... Just saying**

The recipe is-5 Owl eggs,Vegetable oil, and cookie dough! Cook for 45 minutes at 450 degress and ,Shoop Da Whoop, YOU GOTS COOKIES! I'm not eating it. Share it among yourselves if any of you do.

Lionblaze-If you had a gun and you knew how to use it, do you think you would dominate?

Firestar- Chuck Norris punches Mexican babies. Nice little fact you think?

-Everyone is special in their own way. For you its living this long,Graystripe not having a heart attack yet, and Jayfeather being emo too much. What do you think is tigerstar's?

"Yes. I really think I would," Lionblaze nods.

(I would answer something to that, but it would be racist. Sorry, can't answer!)

Firestar thinks for a moment. "Holding the record for stupidness!"

"And this next question is from…SilverWing Of Black Swan!"

**Okay,I just read this but its good!**

Feathertail-If you are still alive and Leafpool or Nightcloud(no offense to both!)dont exist,will you break the warrior code to mate with Crowfeather,will ya?

Jayfeather-Yes I'm a fan but not those squealish types and I do not support JayXStick,but when you where still an warrior apprentice,who did you USE to like?

Firestar-Do you miss your life as a kittypet?

Erin Hunter-WHEN WILL THE 4TH BOOK OF OMEN OF THE STARS COME OUT?IM DYING HERE!

-XOXO,

SilverWing Of Black Swan

"Uhm… Sure," Feathertail shrugs.

"…..No one," Jayfeather answers.

"Not at all because Chuck Norris is here to make me feel better!" Firestar sighs in contempt.

"It did a few weeks ago…" Erin Hunter answers.

"Next question is from FlamingFlyingFoxOfDoom."

**Hi! I'm FoxWing,a random she-cat!**

Questions! Jsyfeather, are you emo? Tigerclaw (I refuse to call him Tigerstar!) are you and Darkstripe gay for eachother? Firestar, I seriously think you're the only cat that DOESN'T have issues, but do you miss your housefolk?

Finally, Lionblaze...WHEN WILL YOU ADMIT YOU LOVE HEATHERTAIL? Those are my questions. ^.^ And a Starclan cat, AburnStripe, enjoys tormenting people. BYE!

"No, I am not emo," Jayfeather hisses while secretly cutting at his paws.

Obviously, he is.

"NOOO! SCOURGEY IS MINE FOREVER AND EVER!" Tigerstar squeaks.

"NOOO! I ONLY MISS CHUCK NORRIS!" Firestar gasps.

"I. ALREADY. DID." SOMEONE is going through girl puberty and PMSing! COUGH COUGH Lionblaze! COUGH COUGH.

"Next question is fron NerdPrincess101!" Owlie chirps.

**O.O! Long chapter XD!**

Jayfeather- sombody is grumpy. Here, let's fix it with a big hug! *hugs Jayfeather*

Owlie- Why does everybody think I'm older than I am? You were close though. 13. Have you every heard the song Wonderwall by Oasis? Or Dance With Cinderella by Steven Curtis Chapman? You should check them out if you haven't. I love those songs!

Neiyo- Alright then. *hides*

Firestar- XD! HAVE YOUR COOKIES! *hands giant plate of cookies*

Sandstorm- *hugs*

Cloudtail- -.- I'm not that heavy. Wimp.

Yeah, I'm checking out Her Light Will Never Die Out now. BYE FOR NOW!

Jayfeather screams like a girl and runs away to hide behind Chuck Norris.

Chuck Norris nods to Firestar. "Looks like we finally got him to crack," he winks.

Firestar grins evilly. "Indeed."

"I dunno. Awww by one year! Oh well. I have no and ok, I'll check them out :]" Owlie answers.

Like ninja, Firestar ninja chops the cookies. Wait! Guys can't be ninja! They only be samurai! Cuz only girls can be ninja!

"I am NOT a wimp!" Cloudtail exclaims baffled.

Owlie snorts. "Prove it."

Cloudtail begins weight lifting but extremely fails.

"AND THE LAST QUESTION IS FROM….Swiftbreeze-Warriors!"

**I really like your story! XD Here are some questions:**

Jayfeather: Do you like Chuck Norris?

Ashfur: Are you in the Dark Forest or Starclan?

Brambleclaw: Do you love Squirrelflight now?

Crowfeather: If Feathertail never died, would you still like Leafpool?

Chuck Norris: Do you ever speak?

Firestar: Who do you like better, Sandstorm, Spottedleaf or Cinderpelt? (Chuck Norris went to get a drink of coffee so Firestar can't use him as a defense *evil laugh*)

Goldenflower: Do you like Tigerstar?

Goosefeather: Do you know your clanmates think you are mad?

Berrynose: Do you like Poppyfrost better or Honeyfern? *Berrynose's mirror was shattered when Tigerstar rushed to Chuck Norris*

"No," Jayfeather squeaks still hiding behind Chuck Norris. Immediately, he is sent back on stage by all those whose religion is Chuckuxciasm or however you spell it…

"I am… STILL ALIVE!" Ashfur screeches trying sound all scary.

"Like-wise," all the Ashfur haters say.

"Yes. I do," Brambleclaw rolls his eyes.

"Who knows?" Crowfeather shrugs.

….Chuck Norris becomes vigilant again….

"CHUCK NORRIS!" Firestar exclaims.

"Yes." As usual, Goldenflower is boring.

Goosefeather crazily snorts. "I'm as sane as 'em all!"

"I LOVE MYSELF!" Berrynose exclaims.

"OK! THE END!" Owlie exclaims. "Join us next chapter for a plot that is slowly unravelin!"


	12. Chapter 12

Owlie walks up on stage and quickly grabs the mic. "I AM OOBER SORRY FOR NOT UPDATING IN LIKE… 2 MONTHS! I've just been so overwhelmed with all the questions! I'm sowwy! And still, there are a lot of questions so I ask… please limit it to no more than 5 :( it'll help me A LOT! And because of my still limited time, for now on, we're only going to answer the first 5 question. Thanks for understand…(if you do)"

Neiyo walks up and reads off a piece of paper. "This question is from SonAmy-SandFire-4Ever."

**From SonAmy-Sandfire**

Jayfeather-Do you love The Stick more than Leafpool or Hollyleaf?

Sandstorm-Do you like waffles?

Firestar-Do you like pancakes?

Graystripe-Do you like french toast? I know you do.

"TWO WHOLE MONTHS AND YOU PEOPLE STILL THINK I LOVE A STICK? WHAT'S WRONG WITH YOU ALL? GET OUT OF YOUR HOUSE, TAKE A LEFT TURN, AND HEAD STRAIGHT TO THE NEAREST MENTAL INSTUTION," Jayfeather growls completely annoyed.

"I don't eat twoleg food," Sandstorm says.

"HECK YEAH I LOVE WAFFLES!" Firestar exclaims holding a paw up. But then he backs down and hides behind Chuck Norris to avoid Sandstorms ever so scary glare.

"N-no.. OK FINE YES! I LIKE FRENCH TOAST! But white chocolate macadamia cookies are HEAVEN!" Graystripe admits.

"YES!" Firestar and Graystripe high five each other.

"Uhm… well since most of these questions aren't really questions… Here's NerdPrincess101's er… questions…" Jayfeather shrugs.

**But...Jayfeather... oh well!**

Jayfeather- haha! They got you!

Chuck Norris- High five! *holds up hand and waits*

Firestar- XDDDDDDDDDDD!

Owlie- Kay! So, I'm at my friends house as I read this and I'm giggling and she's looking at me asking "WTF are you laughing at?"

Neiyo- HI! You didn't say anything last time, so I say HI!

Cloudtail- PFFFFT!

Kay... that's it. My reviews aren't long anymore O.O!

"These are from Rockstar of Thundaclan. Still now questions, but ok…"

**Thanks.**

Breezepelt: throws into the mouths of 60000000000 rabid dogs) hahahaah

Everybody: did you like what I did?

(if anyone says no feed them to the dogs.)

Tallstar: Really, I mean you died from the journey and 4 kittens made the journey. Whhhhhhhyyyyyyyy?

Sorry, I have no ideas for questions. I might review again.

"AHHHHHH!" Breezepelt screams like a girl. But it is soon drowned out by the rabid dogs.

Neiyo groans. "I got it…" She shoos away the dogs and sweeps up Breezepelt's blood.

Scared, everyone nods.

"Because Erin Hunter said so," Tallstar replies.

"Here's Bubblepup's first 5 questions…"

**hey this is my Q's.**

to Hawkfrost and Brambleclaw: WHY THE HECK DID YOU LISTEN TO BLOODY TIGERSTAR,YOU USED TO BE MY FAVOIRITE CHARACTORS NOW I'M HAVING SECOND THOUGHTS *Glares at them angrily*

to Leafpool: Love yah you are so cool, if I were a warrior cat would you make me your aprentise, my warrior name is Willowshadow,Silkytail, and Silentpaw(Hasn't earned proper Warrior name yet but it ends up being Silentwing), please read my stories to understand more,*again glares angerily at Hawkfrost and Brambleclaw again,*

to Squirlflight:why do you like Ashfur he is such a asshole,

to Firestar:you are beawsome(Beyond awsome) and why do you like chuck noris so much and sorry if in my fanfictoins I make you sound like a snob,*Gives Firestar puppydog eyes*

to Hawkfrost: YOU SUCK BIG TIME!

"Because he's BLOODY AWESOME!" Hawkfrost and Brambleclaw mock.

Owlie comes up to them and slaps them both silly. "That's not nice!"

"Wait… What?" Leafpool asks confused.

"I never liked him. What are you talking about?" Squirrelflight gasps.

"MY CHUCK NORRIS!" Firestar hisses.

Hawkfrost snorts. "Thanks."

"Ouch. Bubblepup has more questions… sorry buddy. Can't answer them. Sorry everyone for the short notice!" Owlie apologizes.

"These questions are from someone with no name…."

**Jay: Big fan. For the record, I take you seriously. EVERYONE STOP INSISTING ON STICK LOVE! OR LOVING SOMEONE! Oh, here's some sight. (gives sight)**

Firestar: Why you so stupid and a goody goody?

Crow; dont worry, im not a hater. Do you still love LeafPool?

Leaf: YOU BROKE CROWYS HEART! (if crowy said yes, dont harm her. If crowy said no, toss her off the cliff)

Breezy: emo. XDDDD

Jayfeather sighs in relief. "THANK YOU!"

"I'M NOT STUPID! YOU'RE STUPID! GO GET HIM/HER CHUCK NORRIS!" Firestar squeaks.

Crowfeather looks away blushing. "Maaaybee…"

"….." Leafpool shakes her head in annoyance.

Breezepelt it still being mopped up by Neiyo…

"Now these exact five questions are from Goldenstar13!"

**I'm back! And with my first review here as Goldenstar13!**

Owlie: Have you ever seen/heard of Farscape?

Jayfeather: In episode three of my story, were you mad when I made you walk in high heels?

Scourge: You're the next in my story! Mwahahahaha! (Lightning strike from nowhere scorches Scourge)

Firestar: Have you heard if Farscape? You are old enough! And did you know that you are sort of getting boring in the new books?

Dovewing: Do you still like Tigerheart? Or have you moved on to one of the cats in your own clan? (Spoiler alert! In Sign of the Moon, both Foxleap and Bumblestripe start taking an interest in Dovewing! End spoiler alert.)

"Nope. But I've heard of Runescape," Owlie answers.

"YES! WHY WOULD I EVER BE HAPPY TO WALK IN HIGH HEELS?" he growls remembering the horror…

"…Oh dear… MR. MUFFINS SAVE MEEE!" Scourge yelps running away to his stuffed bear.

"Uhm…. No comment…" Dovewing blushes.

"Now here's Ravenblood360!"

**Um...my friend Silverwing told me to read this soo...**

Jayfeather:Does the thought of forgiving Leafpool come across your mind?

Firestar:*I grab a gun and shoots Chuck Norris*NOW STOP EATING!YOU'RE A LEADER!and if you gain weight again,ill kill your cookies,brownies,and every thing you Day!

"Yes," Jayfeather answers plainly.

Owlie scoffs. "You're boring."

Jayfeather death glares her and secretly laughs evilly as she shrinks back.

"NOOOOO! CHUCK NORRIS!" Firestar screams.

"We're sorry. Killing Chuck Norris is not possible," a monotone voice says.

"Next is from Mothstar."

**OMW sooo funny!**

Well i have like 3 minutes so just two reeeeealy weird Q's.

Jayfeather: WHAT ARE THE WORDS TO LITTLE BUNNY FOO FOO?

Jayfeather: *creeps up to him in the middle of the night* Drip...drip...drip...

U IS SCARED OF WATER!

K byez!

~Mothy

"I don't wann-" Jayfeather begins.

Angrily, Owlie grabs a pencil and begins writing. Instantly, Jayfeather begins to sing part of the song.

"Little bunny foo foo running through the forest, scooping up some field mice and bumpin' them on the head! And down came the good fairy and she said… Little bunny foo foo I don't wanna see you, scooping up the field mice and bumpin' on the head~" The music stops and Jayfeather begins growling. "Stupid twolegs.

Drip…Drip…Drip…

"AHH! HOLY STARCLAN SAVE MEEE!" Jayfeather gasps.

Owlie then begins laughing evilly. "BWAHAHAH!

"These questions are from Maplestar NightClan-Dapplespot."

**so um...**

This is very awkward but...

Were you Jellous when Lionpaw met Heatherpaw?

-

Now a not so awkward questions!

1:Which of the fallowing Warrior names do you like best?...

a)Heatherflame

b)Thunderrose

c)Hawkstorm

d)Sandflight

"No pssht," Jayfeather snorts. "Thunderrose, because it has thunder in it!"

"ARE YOU KIDDING? HEATHERFLAME AND HAWKSTORM ARE AWESOMEFUL NAMES!" Owlie shouts.

Jayfeather attempts to whack her head but misses.

"Imma boss. You can't beat me little kitty," she grins.

"Stupid twolegs," Jayfeather mumbles.

"Next are questions from Brambleflight."

**Brambleclaw: Would yobe mad if Ashfur got Squirrelflight pregnat?**

Brambleclaw: Saw Santa the other day(4/30/11) and I putted your name on the naughty list.

Brambleclaw: Would yo forgive Squirrelflight and be her mate again if she was expecting your kits?

"Depends," Brambleclaw shrugs. "EXCUSE ME?" he growls. "SANTA IS AWESOME! HOW DARE YOU DO THAT!" Brambleclaw blinks at the last question. "Sure."

"This question is from skyweasley651."

**- Can you die?**

"No."

"OOkk.. then.. the next set of questions is from Fanfictionfan0106."

Hello, Willowsong is back. Not may questions this time; I've been busy, tired and in very bad moods. (I blame my best friend)

**Tigerheart: Who do you love more; Dovepaw or Ivypaw?**

Jayfeather: Have you had any recent doom preminitions for ThunderClan?

Blackstar: Is there anyone who loves you?

Firestar:How long till you lose your ninth life and Brambleclaw becomes leader?

That's all I have time for. If I've been a little crabby, I apologize.

"To be honest, Dovepaw. BUT SHHH!" Tigerheart answers.

"OOOHHh!" the audience giggles.

"NOOO! I THOUGHT WE HAD SOMETHING SPECIAL!" Ivypaw whines.

"We never had anything…" Tigerheart says.

"Besides the Dark Forest coming to haunt us, no," Jayfeather shrugs.

"The world may never know," Blackstar says.

"HE'LL NEVER LOSE ANY LIVES UNTIL HE GETS AWAY FROM CHUCK NORRIS!" the audience roars.

"And besides," Owlie shrugs. "I heard Lionblaze is supposed to be the next leader."

"The next few ones are from Darkpelt09."

**Jayfeather:**

Have you ever had a cupcake?

If no, want to try one? -holds out cupcake-

How would you like all the JayxStick fans to die? -grins evilly-

Can I please have permission to feed Hollyleaf to a badger?

Firestar: Go to the gym. If you get separation anxiety, take Chuck Norris with you. You're getting soft(er). (not a question)

"No. No. PLEASE!" Jayfeather answers. "And no."

"You're so boring," Owlie sighs. "BUT I STILL LUFFLES CHU! DON'T WORRY!"

"NOOOOOO!" Firestar yells.

"These are from wolflover."

**Its not that many, but its still questions.**

Jayfeather: I noticed that your name in the 'tunnel world'[as i call it] is Jay's Wing, and your real name is Jayfeather. Does that mean you have clones since a wing has many feathers?

Hollyleaf: Why didn't you like being a medicine cat?

Breezepelt: WHY DID YOU ATTACK JAYFEATHER! eDo

Tigerstar: Why do you hate Bluestar? ono

Thats it...for now.

"Uhm… I dunno," Jayfeather shrugs.

"Because I don't know the herbs!" Hollyleaf answers.

"BECAUSE I'M EVIL! DUR HUR HUR!" Breezepelts spirit answers.

"Because I wanna be leader," Tigerstar pouts.

"And this is from… uhm… Leafpool."

**Jayfeather,**

WHY ARE YOU BLIND?

"I dunno!" Jayfeather growls. "WHY DON'T YOU ASK STARCLAN!"

"Fine!" Leafpool huffs. "I will!" She falls asleep and begins dreaming. "Starclan, why is Jayfeather blind?"

"Because we said so," Starclan replies.

"Ok wait… Leafpool asked somemore…"

**Hello my son! I never thought you'd be on a show...anyway, I have a few questions for you, and you have to answer *evil grin***

Jayfeather-Are you embarrassed that I'm asking you questions? Do you wish Squirrelflight was your mother? Are you sad that you're the medicine cat now? DO YOU LIKE COOKIES? ...I do...

Yellowfang-Why are you so grumpy? What were your kits names that you had with Raggedstar?

Hawkfrost-I wish I'd mated with you instead of Crowfeather...would you mate with me?

Crowfeather-If Midnight hadn't come and we'd run away together, where would we be?

"Those were just the first four…" Owlie explains.

"No," Jayfeather sighs.

"Because I just am!" Yellowfang snaps. "I dunno! They died! So I didn't name them!"

"NO," Hawkfrost growls.

"You would be dead," Crowfeather rolls his eyes.

"The next few questions are from Bramblefur."

**Jayfeather, in the last vole you ate I put twoleg 'truth' leafs in them now then onto the questions.**

Who are most mad at for lying leafpool or Squirrelflight?

If you can't see how did you know that Flametailwa drowning?

Do you think you'll ever see Half Moon again?

"Leafpool." Jayfeather is in a truthful trance. "I used my sharp senses. No, I don't think I'll see her again."

"Ok, because I'm lazy, I'm just going to copy and paste all of Honeyspots questions here."

**Heey! Hi! Heey! It's me awesome Amberfern!**

-

JayJay (Jayfeather): Hows your stick?

Owlee (Owlcookies): How on earth did you come up with a name like Owlcookies? It's so cool!

Tigerstar: hahahahahahaha! You got powned by Scourge!

Scourge: Goi you go you!

Leafpool: omg! omg! o-m-g-! you and Crowfeather are really Hollyleaf, Lionblaze, and JayJay's parents? !

Crowfeather: You cheated on Nightcloud!

-

Byee!

~Amberfern~

"My stick is broken…" Jayfeather gets the anger mark.

"…I like guardians of ga'hoole… and chocolate chip cookies…" Owlie replies.

"NUU!" Tigerstar bawls.

"UHHH WHAT?" Scourge asks confused.

"….She's weird…" Crowfeather admits.

"NOOO! CROWY! I THOUGHT WE HAD SOMETHING SPECIAL!" Nightcloud bawls.

"SHUT UP YOU FREAKY LADY!" Crowfeather growls.

"These are from Jayfeatherisawesomeness."

**Owlie:Why the heck did you make Firestar and idiot? I hate you for that**

Firestar:DIE OR LEAVE CHUCK NORRIS... unless you're a pokemon

Sandstorm:Can you kill Firestar for me? I luv him, but he's an idiot here in this fanfiction

Jayfeather:Do you ever regret being born?

"Uhm… it makes my story funnier…" Owlie shrugs.

"NOOOO!" Firestar screams in horror.

"No way! He may be Chuck Norris obsessed but he's still my mate!" Sandstorm growls in disgust.

"No," Jayfeather answers.

"These are from Rockstar of Thundaclan."

**Ideas!**

Brindleface: do you know you are Longtail's half Brother, And the sister of Dustpelt and Ravenpaw?

Hawkfrost: Meet my friend. .

, BLLAAAHH!

Firestar: Hehe, you make me laugh.

Owlie: Are you ever gonna update. You haven't updated for like, 2 months!

Tallstar: Also many elders made the journey. You Failed.

P.S. I got an account.

"No… I didn't," Brindleface says.

"Uhm… hhhii…." Hawkfrost blinks. "OH MY STARCLAN IT'S SCARY!"

"Thanks! X3" Firestar grins.

"Yea… sorry… Ask Jayfeather is starting to get really boring… I might have to stop it soon," Owlie apologizes.

"Thanks," Tallstar snorts while rolling his eyes.

"AND THE LAST QUESTIONS ARE FROM Lark's Song."

**Yay! The review button works again! :3 Ok heres my questions:**

Jayfeather: I am a slender, silvery blueish she-cat with sapphire blue eyes. I am Willowshine's apprentice. I also think that Willowshine patronizes you, so I hate her. My anme is Mosspool. Do you like the sound of me?

Tigerclaw: Would you like it if you mated with Sandstorm and had a kit called Twistedsoul who tried to kill you every minute?

Lionblaze: Who would you choose to mate with out of Cinderheart or Heathertail if they were both in ThunderClan?

Hollyleaf: You've been in the tunnels for a long time...Do you like Fallen Leaves or Rock?

Dovewing: Quit being a boring she-cat in the books. If I told you that mostly everyone hated you including Tigerheart, how would you react?

Firestar: Who do you like out of Sandstorm, Cinderpelt or Spottedleaf? *Secretly murders Chuck Norris, so he can't use him as an answer. Evil smile.*

Thanks for your time!

May StarClan light your path,

Mosspool

"No," Jayfeather rolls his eyes. "Stupid fangirls," he murmurs.

"NO!" Tigerclaw growls.

"Uhm…. Uhm… I dunno… this is a hard one…" Lionblaze thinks.

"No," Hollyleaf answers.

"NOOO! IT'S THE END OF THE WORLD! But it's not because I would of heard it," Dovewing laughs evilly.

Firestar has died of cardiac arrest. Please ask later.

BYE


	13. Chapter 13

OwlCookies, the amazingly awesome person who has procrastinated on every single one of her fanfictions, walks up to the stage, microphone in hand, and clears her throat. "Wow!" she exclaims. "When was the last time I updated? Last year? Even more?

The crowd boos at her for leaving them hanging with all their questions for so long. "YOU SUCK!" one of them shouted.

"Well excuse you for not hosting a fanfiction that involves a million people asking you millions of questions in the middle of the school year." She dramatically cries in an emo corner. "School's hard, you know?"

"Oh suck it up and let's move on to the next question." Neiyo rolled her eyes.

"I really don't want to…" Jayfeather sighed.

The fangirls, on the other hand, squealed at the mention/sight of their all-time favorite cat, Jayfeather. "WE LOVE YOU, JAYFEATHER!" one group screamed. "LET ME LOVE YOOOUU!" a rabid-looking cat squealed in delight.

Owlie sniffed and handed Jayfeather a stack of paper and then looked out into the crowd. "Yeah, um, I lost place of where the next question was after Lark's Song's was so I decided to start from the _ninth_ page of questions… so… here you go…"

"The first question of the year is from… HUNy56JAY…" Jayfeather announced.

"What on earth. How are you supposed to pronounce that?" Owlie asked.

**OH OH OH I got a bunch questions first Jayfeather: I know you hate people that say you love a she-cat but i dare you to confesse your love to cinderheart or else you die next Cinderheart: you should be ashame of your self for not telling who you really love and that is Jayfeather and also stop saying you'll be LIONBLAZE'S MATE I [hate LIONXCINDER] and Lionblaze: why don't you tell everybody you love Heathertail p.s I hate BREEZEPELT and Sandstorm i was thinking i make a machine to turn Firestar back to normal he turneed into an IDIOT Thornclaw: do you love any she-cats Ferncloud: how many more kits do you want seriously! thats all the questions i have**

"I don't love Cinderheart," Jayfeather snapped. "That's my brother's job!"

Cinderheart frowned sadly. "But I don't… I just can't… It's not him… Lionblaze…" Sadly, she pawed off stage, tripping as grief overwhelmed her heart.

"HEY, CAN I GET A THERAPIST OVER HERE?" Neiyo shouted backstage.

A therapist picked up Cinderheart by the scruff and carried her away for some therapy.

Lionblaze scowled. "Heathertail and I can't be together. She's with that mangepelt, Breezepelt anyway! I don't want to break the warrior code."

"Um… Okay…" Sandstorm blinked unsure.

"No." Thornclaw glances at Blossomfall but she turns away.

"THAT'S NOT CANON!" a cat shouted from the back of the crowd. "THEY WERE JUST HIDING A SECRET TOGETHER THAT THEY WERE *spoilers* TRAINING IN THE DARK FOREST *end of spoilers*"

Ferncloud hissed. "I love kits!" she exclaimed. "Kits!"

"Mmkayyy, next question," Owlie gently nudged Ferncloud off the stage.

"This one's from Mothstar," Jayfeather announced.

**hehehehe didn't know you knew that song!**

**Okay, exactly 5 questions.**

1. Thornclaw: WHY ARE YOU A BACHELOR?

2. Chuck Norris: WHY DON'T YOU SAY ANYTHING? *goes insane from not knowing what he would say*

3. Jayfeather: ...Do you run an insane asylum?

4. Oakheart: You're so annoying and arrogant. *doesn't wait for answer and goes directly to last question*

5. Firestar: DIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

Bye! :)

"What. What song what?" Owlie asked.

"Because I'm cool," Thornclaw huffed. "I don't need no mate. Ain't nobody got time for that!"

"Excuse _you_," Ferncloud snorted.

"…" said Chuck Norris.

"You see, you have to be as awesome as Chuck Norris to know what he's saying," Owlie said.

Jayfeather rolled his eyes and groaned. "This is an insane asylum the way it is."

Oakheart was taken back. "Wh-What?"

"Oh noez you didn't!" Bluestar snapped. (Quite literally actually)

While rolling around on a random patch of grass, *spoilers* The Last Hope *end of spoilers* is dumped on him. Suddenly, Firestar explodes with cat guts spraying around everywhere.

"Spoilers, sweetie," Owlie winked, hoping that someone understood her reference.

"Look what you did!" Sandstorm snapped. "You killed him!"

Mothstar laughed evilly in the distance. "Mwahaha! The deed is done!"

"And now here's a question from Leopardfire97," Jayfeather said before the chaos got any further.

**Alrighty... Only five? Darn.**

Jayfeather- Do you ever regret letting Flametail drown?

Lionblaze- Do you like your current name or the one Heathertail gave you when you were an apprentice, "Lionclaw"? Cuz Lionclaw makes a lot more sense.

Hollyleaf- You were awesome until you went insane. What do you think your power would have been if you were one of the three?

Dovepaw- You're a Mary Sue and annoying. This isn't a question.

Ivypaw- Was there ever anything romantic between you and Hawkfrost?

And Jayfeather again(this is his story)- Have you ever written a suicide letter?

Bye.

"People don't pay attention or read everything and ask more than five," Owlie said with a frown. "But thanks for reading it all and actually asking only five!" She cried soft elmo tears of stress in a corner while Neiyo splashed a bucket of water over her. "Hey!"

"Of course, I always do. And because Rock told me to, I can't be a medicine cat outside of the clan," Jayfeather sighed remorsefully.

"I think they both suit me fine," Lionblaze said. "But I like Lionblaze _better_ because _my leader_ gave me that name."

"I'd rather not wish and hope to be part of the prophecy…" Hollyleaf sighed sadly.

"Excuse _you_," Ivypaw/pool huffed in Dovepaw/wing's defense. "And no! Ew! Of course not! Hawkfrost is just…" She shuddered.

"Of course not," Jayfeather snapped. "The clan comes first and if I die, who will heal ThunderClan?"

"Bye!" Owlie grinned and waved as Leopardfire97 left.

"This one is from Goldenstar13," Jayfeather read.

**Hello! Wowers, quite a lot…I know, I get overwhelmed with dares for my show. I think I'm going to set up a limit too…**

:( You might be ending? :*( But I understand, you've been getting a LOT of questions.

Anyway...Questions, questions…ahem…

Jayfeather: What did you think when you found out that Half Moon would be the first Stoneteller?

Owlie: Have you ever heard of the May Bird series?

Firestar: Okay, for one day, back off of Chuck Norris and give the guy room to breathe!

Everyone: I've heard (can't remember where) that Firestar is going to die by the end of the Omen of the Stars arc. Your reaction?

Hum, O can't think of anything else. So, till next time...peace!

"HHAAHAH LIMIT," Owlie snorted. "HAHAHA LIMIT. I ENDED UP PROCRASTINATING HAHAHA."

Jayfeather looked down blushing.

"Tell us the truth~!" Owlie squealed with a cheeky grin.

"I was proud of her…" he mumbled inaudibly but at a satisfactory volume for Owlie to type down.

"The what? Is it good?" she asked.

"NEVAR." Firestar resurrected from the dead and jumped onto Chuck Norris' head.

"…" said Chuck Norris.

"I heard that tooooo!" Owlie exclaimed. "It's in *spoilers* The Last Hope *end of spoilers* I myself haven't gotten to that part yet because when I went to the library to read it, I only got halfway before I had to leave… But I read a recent review that said that… Whoever gave us that review, THANKS FOR THE SPOILER ALERT."

All the cats look at Firestar on Chuck Norris' head. "He's died a bunch of times in this story," one said. "Not surprising.

Jayfeather cleared his throat. "This isn't really a question… But here's a review from Nyarp."

**Aww, your going to stop Ask Jayfeather? Oh well, it was fun reading it! I hope you do one more to end it off or something like that. Thanks for making this! :]**

"Oh, was I really planning to end this?" Owlie laughed. "Well, here I am again, haha."

"And now: Bramble and me. Squirrelflight."

**Bramblclaw: Nightcloud or Squirrelflight?**

Brambleclaw: You lied to Squirrely about meeting with Tigerstar and Hawkfrost.

Brambleclaw: Do you know I cry over you. Like sob. You broke my heart too.

Brambleclaw: Do you know I'm realy in love with you, I turn down guys cause I love you.

Owlie suddenly bursts out laughing. "BWHAHA NICE PEN NAME!"

Brambleclaw's eyes light up. "Questions for me? Really? Yay!" But then he heard the questions… "Oh… Okay, that's a dumb question, no offense, but who likes Nightcloud anyway. Those WindClan cats are irritating and she belongs with Crowfeather. Squirrelflight all the way, man."

"I LIKE WINDCLAN," Owlie huffed. "Sometimes…"

"Well then… Okay… I'm sorry I broke your heart… I think… Okay… Um… You might want to get checked for that…" Brambleclaw looked nervously at Neiyo.

"CAN WE GET ANOTHER THERAPIST IN HERE?" Neiyo shouted backstage.

A therapist picked up Bramble and me. Squirrelflight and left the building.

Jayfeather sighed. "This is going to be a long show…" He rolled his eyes. "And now… from Coconuts and Pandas."

**You killed Firestar!**

Im gonna ask ... Graystripe: Why are you gray?

Yep.

"Yes, yes I did," Owlie said cynically.

"Because I'm cool!" Graystripe then preformed a strange… dance.

"MOVING ON." Jayfeather glared at Graystripe until he left.

"Fool, I'm fabulous!" Graystripe called as he left the stage.

"And now a few questions from an anonymously random quest. Who double posted by the way."

**JayFeather: Did you ever regret coming back from the past?**

Half Moon: Did you really love Jay's Wing?

HollyLeaf: Why did yiu kill ashfur

"Sometimes I do and sometimes I don't," he simply replied.

"Of course I do…" Half Moon frowned.

"Because he was stupid."

THE END.

Now here's a message from Chuck Norris.

"…"

AND BACK TO THE SHOW!

"Here are some questions from Newlife of thunderclan."

**hey this is bubblepup again Newlife of thunderclan is my new penname and I have a question for Hollyleaf**

WHY DID YOU HAVE TO DIE?

and for LionBlaze

Why do you think your so awesome?

Jayfeather?

I'm with you about the whole Stick thing,but I believe you like Briarlight,

"But… I didn't…?" Hollyleaf looked at bubblepop/newlife of thunderclan strangely.

"Because I'm fantabulous!" Lionblaze did Graystripes dance and was then dragged off of the stage.

"I like Briarlight in a platonic way, if that's what you mean. But I believe in her. I know she'll get better, not completely, but she'll be strong in her own way," Jayfeather said, beaming with pride.

Briarlight flattened her ears but smiled.

"And now _philosophical_ questions from Skylar of Gryffindor."

**How do you get these questions?**

Why can't people take you seriously?

Are you tired of answering questions?

"I get these questions from people like you asking them. Because Owlie decided to make crack and comedy out of this. Yes. Very," Jayfeather answered. "And moving on… to… The Copycat Ninja."

**Yay! The review button works again! :3 Ok heres my questions:**

Jayfeather: I am a slender, silvery blueish she-cat with sapphire blue eyes. I am Willowshine's apprentice. I also think that Willowshine patronizes you, so I hate her. My anme is Mosspool. Do you like the sound of me?

Tigerclaw: Would you like it if you mated with Sandstorm and had a kit called Twistedsoul who tried to kill you every minute?

Lionblaze: Who would you choose to mate with out of Cinderheart or Heathertail if they were both in ThunderClan?

Hollyleaf: You've been in the tunnels for a long time...Do you like Fallen Leaves or Rock?

Dovewing: Quit being a boring she-cat in the books. If I told you that mostly everyone hated you including Tigerheart, how would you react?

Firestar: Who do you like out of Sandstorm, Cinderpelt or Spottedleaf? *Secretly murders Chuck Norris, so he can't use him as an answer. Evil smile.*

Thanks for your time!

May StarClan light your path,

Mosspool

"Um. I don't particularly… care…?" ~An honest answer by Jayfeather~

"No, what the heck. I don't want to touch a cat who's been Firestar's mate. Ew. Cooties." Tigerclaw gave Mosspool a disgusted look.

Lionblaze glanced at both cats. "I… um… I…" He exploded.

Neiyo groaned and glared at Owlie. "Really? You made him explode? Really?" She rolled her eyes. "CLEAN-UP." A clean-up crew arrived and wiped the Lionblaze guts away.

Hollyleaf looked at Mosspool strangely. "Who?"

Dovewing just frowned.

One does not simply murder Chuck Norris. Your question is invalid.

"…" said Chuck Norris.

"And here's another question from Coconuts and Pandas."

**Ideas!**

Brindleface: do you know you are Longtail's half Brother, And the sister of Dustpelt and Ravenpaw?

Hawkfrost: Meet my friend. .

, BLLAAAHH!

Firestar: Hehe, you make me laugh.

Owlie: Are you ever gonna update. You haven't updated for like, 2 months!

Tallstar: Also many elders made the journey. You Failed.

P.S. I got an account.

Who's Brindleface…? The crowd looks around for a cat named Brindleface. Eventually, someone googles the cat and Brindleface appears. "Um. Yes, I do."

"What."

Firestar looked at Coconuts and Pandas with a derp face. Owo

"Here I am~!" Owlie exclaimed.

"Well excuse you," Tallstar huffed.

"Yes, we see you did," Jayfeather said. "Now here's one from Jayfeatherisawesomeness."

**Owlie:Why the heck did you make Firestar and idiot? I hate you for that**

Firestar:DIE OR LEAVE CHUCK NORRIS... unless you're a pokemon

Sandstorm:Can you kill Firestar for me? I luv him, but he's an idiot here in this fanfiction

Jayfeather:Do you ever regret being born?

"Because he's super old and comic relief. And thank you. At least you're honest."

"…" said Chuck Norris for Firestar.

"He's died too many times…" Sandstorm replied.

"Yes. And now here's a question… or more, from hellocat."

**hollyleaf-i like your character! Would you please stop screaming though?**

jayfeather-how did you get used to being blind? Why didn't you want

Brightheart as mentor?

Mistystar-who are your kits and mate?

Tawnypelt-do you regret leaving Thunderclan?

(to Tawnypelt/Mistystar/hollyleaf/ashfoot-for some reason, i like you , not love

"MAKE ME."

_Did I really make Hollyleaf scream a lot?_ Owlie thought to herself.

"Because I said so."

"My kits are Reedwhisker, Perchkit, Primrosepaw, and Pikekit and my mate is lolidk. I magically made kits mwahahaha."

"Meh."

And not even a third of the way finished, Owlie is struggling…

"…Okay um well, this is from i'mnotsure."

**pornography? what does that mean? to:owlcookies**

ps:hi jayfeather

"…You wait until you're older, little one…" Owlie patted the innocently naïve and young kit.

"…Hello…" He paused. "Um okay, this one is from 9peggy."

**Yeah, I was too lazy to log in today. :P This story is still awesome by the way.**

Anyone: Who's more annoying; Hollyleaf, or Berrynose?

"BERRYNOSE," replied Anyone.

"Moving on, this review is from Firestar001."

**Umm Firestar doesn't know what a waffle is.**

And he also doesn't like cookies

"Well excuse you."

"Here are some from FlamingFlyingFoxOfDoom."

"WAIT OMG I REMEMBER YOU. I LOVE YOU BECAUSE YOU LOVE ME," Owlie rolled around in glee. (Of offense to others…)

**I've been ignored, whatever there is probanly a ton of people reviewing this, so I don't care and I understand. I'll keep my questions to a mininum this time...**

Lionblaze-Do you need a hug?

Jayfeather- You get a hug, live with it. here's a cookie.

Holyleaf- Hate you, why? Can you tell me that? TELL ME WHY I DISMISE YOU SO!

Is that okay?

Lionblaze glanced at Cinderheart. "Well…"

Jayfeather facepalmed… somehow with his cat legs.

"What."

"While Jayfeather rests from all his eye rolling, I'll take over~! Owlie smiled. "And I'll play Jayfeathers rerecorded answers. Soo, this questions if from Starpaw3215."

**If u had to chosse between Icecloud and Cinderheart who would u**

pick

"Neither! Leave those choices to Lionblaze or something!" Jayfeather snapped in his prerecorded answer.

"Now here are some from XiXi Scarlet."

**Jayfeather-**

Can I have a hug?

I've had an experience when someone thought I loved an inaminate object. I said loudly "I love it!" I think you should too. Will you? If you do, maybe people might stop asking questions about the stick!

Firestar-

Can you die already?

Owlie-What would you do if you could control Jayfeather for a day?

"No. What."

On cue, Firestar exploded… Again…

"I WOULD MAKE HIM LOVE MEEE," Owlie replied. "Here's a few more from Firestar001… uh, again."

**Firestar: Why haven't you taken on an apprentice ever? You're last apprentice was Brambleclaw if I remember right.**

Firestar: Did you know I picked my username because of you. BECAUSE YOUR A HERO IN THE OLD FOREST!

Jayfeather: You do know there's a warrior in the ancient cats named "Dove Wing" right? And that there's a warrior named Dovewing as part of the Three right? Do you think the DoveWings can do the same thing you can do as Jay's Wing?

DoveWing: LASKJJFD;LKASDJF RANDOM INSERT!

JayFeather: I also HATE JayXStick stuff. Why don't you put Deathberries in all the JayXStick fanfictions and poison all the stories with red and more red ink.

Tigerstar: What's the point of training cats when you can't take over the world or any of the forest with them. Because you DO realize that you're still dead right?

SpottedLeaf: YOUR PURDY! Ha ha ha but seriously; if you were to be given a second life in the new forest-lake, would you take it?

PineStar: Why'd you go off and become a kittypet?

HollyLeaf: Where are you now? I need to send you an e-mail on random stuff.

Brambleclaw: What was it like when you killed your half-brother?

Leafpool and Squirlflight: What's it like being twins?

I guess that's it. CHYA

Firestar has not yet regenerated. Please try again.

Firestar still had not yet regenerated. Please try again.

"WAIT. YES I HAVE. THANKS. YOU'RE COOL TOO. I GUESS. BUT NOT AS COOL AS ME WHICH IS WHY I'VE NEVER HAD AN APPRENTICE."

"Um. Probably."

"What."

"Because hashtag no."

"Excuse you."

"I am what, no I'm not. I wouldn't because I wouldn't be needed."

"Because I'm fantabulous."

"In ThunderClan… Um… *spoilers* Dead? *end of spoilers*"

"Um. Bad."

"Like… Being twins…?"

Owlie is still dying… Of work-ness…

"WOW OKAY NEXT QUESTION.S. FROM wolflover."

**I forgot to ask something.**

Graystripe: I am a bomb that looks like a fat mouse. you do not know im a bomb. Do you eat me? o-O

"YES. FAT MOUSE. OMNOMNOM." *explodes*

"Flipping-" Neiyo scowled, making the clean-up crew clean Graystripe's guts.

Owlie looks at the list of questions and the question from last chapter. o.O "I feel like some questions were repeated… OH WELL!" She hummed. "Here's another one from HUNy56JAY."

**Dear Sandstorm i'll be killing chuck norris for you CHUCK NORRIS SUCKS AND FIRESTAR IS AN IDIOTIC MORON FOR HAVING CHUCK NORRIS protect him so i kill CHUK NORRIS *kills chuck norris***

"What."

"Now here's some from an anonymously random guest or um… Emberdragon."

**Its meh.I am Emberdragon 8D**

Owlie-We could be twins.I like almost everything you like (But I am not THAT much of a Jay-Jay fan,but I STILL LUFFS YOU JAY-JAY!)

Sandstorm-*Gives a dead rabbit*Hello Sandstorm I luffs you,and did you like Dustpelt before Firestar?ADMIT IT.

Graystripe-I luffs you too!*cling*

Firestar:You stink are you a dud?*kills Chuck Norris*

"Oh really? Okay, okay, quiz time. Do you get the following references:

Allons-y!

Hashtag NOT DEAD. Hashtag NOT GAY. Hashtag NOT MY DIVISION.

I like your shoelaces.

*Jeopardy song plays*

"What." Sandstorm inches away from the dead rabbit.

"What."

One does not simply kill Chuck Norris. Your statement is invalid.

"Now here's Leafflight."

**First off; I am a super big fan of these. *Note* I am not a supporter of JayxStick. I think jthose things are weird.**

OwlCookies: Who all is in the "Chuch Norris" group? And no, Firestar, I do not care if I spelled his name wrong!

I will be back!

"What."

"This is from Tanglepaw."

**Firestar:Has died of cardiac arrest RIP**

Jayfeather:Do you feel the urge to kill Dovewing for being just as annoying as Hollyleaf?

Lionblaze:Cinderheart is being mean to you.. do you need a hug?

Brambleclaw:Fall down a hole!NOW!

Dustpelt:You have lots and lots of kits!You really luff Fernclound don't you?

Poppyfrost:You feel upset because Berrynose still loves your sister a bit,huh? I know you are.

Graypool:Are you upset 'cause Oakheart just used you as a disquse?

Sandstorm:Save Firestar's life! C'mon! Get him back before he goes to StarClan and Spottedleaf gets him to be her mate! Hurry!

Yellowfang: Erin Hunter called you ornery... how do you feel about that?

Swiftpaw's Spirit: I think your warrior name should have been Swiftfoot.

Dasiy: Your a meanie! You discrated Cloudtail from Brightheart!

Whitewing: You must be so proud of Dovewing.

Hawkfrost:You power hungry, crow-food eating, werido! At first when you first appered I thought you were hot, but now, you suck!

Breezepelt:You live in a broken relationship with your parents, go to .(NOT REALLY)

THANKS FOR UPDATING!

Tanglepaw

"No, of course not, what."

Brambleclaw falls down a hole and lands in Amestris.

"OMFG IT'S BRAMBLECLAW!" the voice of Shannon exclaims in glee.

"What."

"MEIN MATE."

"Sad face.

"What."

"Oops."

"I don't care!" Yellowfang snapped.

"Okay."

"Okay."

"Sure."

"Okay."

"Okay."

Owlie explodes.

"ASDFGHJKL SORRY I COULDN'T GET TO ALL YOU'RE QUESTIONS BUT HOLY MOLY I WAS ONLY ON THE 8TH PAGE DO YOU NOT HOW FRUSTRATING THIS IS OMFG."


	14. Chapter 14

Before this comes out of hand again, I'm just going to update every hour or so since it's summer break anyway,' Owlie says, already on stage. 'So let's begin with the first question! Jayfeather?' She paused. "OH YEAH. AND TODAY'S GOING TO BE BRITISH THEMED BECAUSE MY QUOTATION MARKS BUTTON THING ON THE KEYBOARD IS BEING DERPY.'

'Skylar of Gryffindor says…'

**Your Alive! Wow, nice to see your alive :)**

'Yes… I am alive… Very much alive… Still hanging in there but very much alive thank you.'

'This one is from SIR PHINEAS JAY CAT ESQUIRE which was in two parts,' Jayfeather announced.

**OMG YOU'RE FINALLY BACK! YAYZZZZZ! Now for some comedy in my life, you have no  
clue how happy I am.  
Leopardfire97 referenced L**

**Anyway, I was typing my review and it randomly sent it...  
What I was saying is that leopardfire97 was referencing lilystar, another  
fanfiction person.  
also, if you ever catch up, you awesomeness will pass up the awesomeness that  
is, The Great Awesomeness (me) and also you will have total power over chuck  
Norris.**

chuck Norris: Firestar called you Mrs Norris ,what will you do?  
Firestar go boom.  
Squirrelflight's sister, who's name will bot come to mind: what would happen  
if you ate deathberries, vomited them on Firestar and squirrelflight ate them?  
Daisy: spiderleg dumped you for Greystripe and Darkstripe.

'Wow hahah this is really that funny? Thanks?' Owlie chirps happily. 'Wait what. And no, you can"t (do British people do that what) be awesomer than me kthxbye.'

'…' said Chuck Norris.

Firestar's guts, once again, was splattered all over the faces of every cat.

'That"s disgusting,' Leafpool, ahem, said.

'EXCUSE YOU.'

'Now here is a barrage of questions from StormxRaven.'

**Allright now, Jayfeather : 1. I hate the stick fanfics and 2. I'm not going to ask you a question cuz you get too many**

Ravenpaw: If you had the chance to choose your warrior name, what would it be?  
Scourge: Would you have killed Firestar if you had known he was your half-brother at the time?  
Mistystar: How did you feel when Dovewing toldyouabout herpower?  
Dawnpelt: If Jayfeather had succeeded in saving Flametail, what emotions would you feel towards him?(Not love or like or any of that stuff...)  
Longtail: What made you stop being so mean and rude towards Firestar?  
Darkstripe: Why are you always trying to be 'smooth like honey' when talking to your Dark Fores t Clanmeates?  
Mousefur: How did you feel when you joined Longtail in StarClan?  
Onestar: How did you feel whe Tallstar made you deputy right before he died?  
Tallstar: Why did you make Onestar(Onewhisker) deputy right before you died?  
Alright, fine Jayfeather: How did you feel when you found out Hollyleaf wasn't dead after all?  
Lastly, Hollyleaf: I respect and like you because you always try to stick to the warrior code, but whydid youreveal the secret at the Gathering, then run into the tunnels, makeing every ThunderClan cat believe you were dead?  
P.S. Yes Jayfeather, I know I'm a hypocrite  
P.P.S. My pen name, StormxRaven, is one of my OCs, Stormpelt, loving Ravenpaw. No Ravenpaw, please do not comment on that. But Tigerstar, you can.(Plus i love Brokenstar and Scourge because they are so twisted and evil, and Tigerstar, though he was not NEARLY as evil as Brokestar.) Yes Yellowfang, you can shred me now

'Well it _is_ Ask Jayfeather,' Owlie replied in Jayfeather's place.

'I wouldn't want to be one… Why should I choose a warrior name?' Ravenpaw's ear flattened.

'Yes.'

*cue Tumblr inside joke* 'Okay cool.'

'I'd still hate that little punk! Get your hands off of my brother!'

'NEVARRR.'

'Because I'm cool.'

'Sad face.'

'Wait, omg, this is so cool. I'M DEPUTY. IN YOUR FACES WINDCLAN! Basically that.' Mudclaw glares at him.

'Because he's cooler than Mudclaw and Mudclaw is stupid.' Mudclaw looks at Tallstar, horrified.

'OMG SHE ISN'T DEAD HALLELUJA. PRAISE STARCLAN,' Jayfeather admitted.

'Because hashtag yolo.'

'Okay cool.'

Owlie beings to cry in joy. "That was so short omfg! OKAY I'M DONE NOW BYE."


	15. Chapter 15

"This is going to be a roll because I literally have nothing better to do with my life," Owlie says.

"YEAH. WE CAN TELL," Neiyo and Jayfeather shout together.

"Yeah, yeah. Let's get this party started~!" Owlie exclaims as she does her dance.

"Fine. The first question is from bob."

**bluestar: why were you so crazy at one point? StarClanwasn't out to get  
you.**

"Because hashtag stress."

"And here's one from SIR PHINEAS JAY CAT ESQUIRE."

"OH WAIT I FORGOT TO MENTION LAST CHAPTER THAT I REMEMBER YOU TOO AND I LOVE YOU TOO BECAUSE YOU LOVE MEEE!" Owlie exclaims. "By the way, you're my 300th reviewer! Congrats!"

**I probably should have just waited for this chapter to pm you.  
Jayfeather: if 112 and 42 how stupid is firestar  
Squirrelflight Is a flying squirrel.  
Chucky Norris is actually Charlie brown. Didn't see that one coming, did ya?  
Ashfur: on average YOU'RE A POIP,!**

"What."

"I'm brilliant at flying, thank you very much.

"…" said Chuck Norris.

And in the distance, Linus plays "Linus and Lucy" on his little piano thing in which he somehow didn't get back problems from.

"Imma what."

"And now here's an… interesting one from redstarINSTITUTE."

**DO ANY OF YOU LIKE CHEESE?  
BLUESTAR WHY DID YOU GO INSANE WHEN TIGERSTAR BETRAYED THUNDERCLAN?  
LEAFPOOL HOW DID YOU HIDE HAVING KITS?  
WHY MUST FORBIDEN LOVES HAPPEN SO MUCH?  
WHY MUST 2 MEDICINE CATS AT LEAST HAVE KITS? YELLOWFANG AND LEAFPOOL, I MEAN YOU!  
JAYFEATHER, WHY AM I TYPING IN CAPS?  
WHY DID SWEETPAW HAVE TO DIE?!  
FIRESTAR DID YOU KNOW YOU WERE THE BEST CAT EVER?!  
JAYFEATHER, HOW DO YOU FEEL WHEN I SAY I HONESTLY THINK LIONBLAZE'S POWER IS COOLER?  
JAYFEATHER, WHY DO YOU THINK LIONBLAZE WAS A MOUSEBRAIN?  
THISTLECLAW DID YOU KNOW YOU WERE NAMED FOR YOUR FUR NOT YOUR CLAW?  
BLUESTAR, WHY DID YOU MOPE AROUND CAMP WHEN YOUR MOM ANS SISTER DIED?  
FIRESTAR, HAS ANY CAT DIED FROM EATING CHOCLATE?  
JAYFEATHER, DO YOU KNOW WHY CATS DIE FROM EATING CHOCLATE?  
LEAFPOOL, ARE YOU STRONGLY OPINIATED ON CROWFEATHER'S "LOVE AFFAIRS?"  
FIRESTAR, YOU DIED BECAUSE OF A TREE! DID YOU KNOW THAT IS KINDA PATHETIC CONSIDERING WHAT YOU DID?  
CLOUDTAIL AND MOTHWING, DID YOU KNOW THE MEDICINE CAT IN MY FANFICTION DOESN'T BELIEVE IN STARCLAN?  
FIRESTAR, DO I SCARE YOU?  
THIS BETTER CONTINUE OR ELSE FEEL MY WRATH!  
FIRESTAR, WHAT DO YOU THINK OF THIS QUOTE: "fireheart, every cat can see that sandstorm is very, very fond of you!"?  
CROKEDSTAR, I AM GOING TO EAT YOUR FACE!  
BLUESTAR DID YOU KNOW THAT EVEN THOUGH YOUR ONE OF MY FAVORITE CHARECTERS I VERY STRONGLY THINK THAT YOU, AS I LIKE TO SAY, "FAIL HARDCORE" ALOT IN "BLUESTAR'S PROPHECY?"  
LEADERS, DO YOU EVER CONSIDER THE WAY A CATS NAME WOULD SOUND WITH -STAR AT THE END?  
LEADERS, DO YOU THINK ECHOSTAR OR TREESTAR SOUND BETTER?  
HOLLYLEAF: WHY ARE YOU OBSESSED WITH THE WARRIOR CODE?  
JAYFEATHER: DID YOU KNOW THAT I STILL HAVE QUESTIONS?  
LIONBLAZE: DO YOU THINK "TWILIGHTCLAN IS SEGGESTIVE?  
BY BYE!**

ah caps...

"Caps lock… that's new…" Jayfeather mumbled.

"OMG CAPS LOCK. THE WAY OF TYPING OF MY PEOPLE!" Owlie exclaimed loudly. "YOU'RE COOL!"

"Don't cats die if they eat cheese?" Jayfeather asks.

"BECAUSE I THOUGHT TIGERSTAR WAS COOL."

"BY BEING AWESOME."

"STOP TALKING IN CAPS," Jayfeather exclaimed. "NO. I'M DOING IT TOO NO."

"CAPS LOCK REALLY EMPHASIZES THINGS. I MEAN LIKE, THE VOICE IN YOUR HEAD PUNCTUATES EACH WORD AND MAKES IT APPEAR LOUDER," Owlie exclaimed. "BECAUSE LOVE MAKES PEOPLE DO STUPID DECISIONS. I MEAN LIKE, THINK ABOUT ROMEO AND JULIET."

"WELL EXCUSE US FOR MAKING STUPID DECISIONS," Yellowfang and Leafpool snapped.

"BECAUSE YOU'RE HIGH," Jayfeather replied, irritated that he couldn't stop talking in caps lock.

"BECAUSE HASHTAG CHARACTER DEVELOPMENT," Erin Hunter replied.

"**...**" replied Chuck Norris for Firestar.

"EXCUSE YOU."

"OKAY COOL."

"BECAUSE I WAS HASHTAG SAD."

"Well obvious Firestar has," Owlie said with a cough.

"BECAUSE CATS DO."

"EXCUSE _YOU_. CAN YOU NOT."

"TREEEEEE~!" Firestar exclaimed.

"OKAY COOL," Cloudtail and Mothwing said.

"…" replied Chuck Norris for Firestar.

"FOOL. AIN'T NOBODY GOT TIME TO EAT MY FACE."

"OKAY COOL."

"WHAT."

"BECAUSE HASHTAG YODO."

"WHAT."

"WHAT."

"That was fun," owo Owlie giggled.

"No it wasn't, ugh," Jayfeather groaned. "Now here are some questions, not in caps lock, from Moonbeam141."

**Hi! This is funny!  
1. Hollyleaf, if Fallen Leaves was alive, would you have kits?  
2. Hollyleaf, would you be an awesome leader?  
3. Jayfeather, are you grumpy because people keep asking you questions?  
4. Berrynose, why are you annoying? And why is your name BerryNOSE?  
That's all!**

"Sure because hashtag yolo." Hollyleaf paused before answering the next question addressed to her. "No because hashtag no."

"YES," Jayfeather shouted loudly.

"Hey! Caps lock!" Owlie giggled.

"Because my nose is awesome and you just don't have the capacity to be as awesome to me so bow down and worship me and my awesome nose because my awesome nose and I are just that awesome and yes."

Jayfeather cleared his throat and shoved Berrynose off the stage. "Moving on, Apollo's Child asked:"

**What a cool idea for a fanfiction! My question:**

Jayfeather, why did you kill stick? And why did you cheat on stick for  
Half-Moon, anyway?

-Tanglepool, WindClan

"To show people that there is no pairing between the stick and me and because Half Moon is a million times more awesome."

"I SHIP YOUR PAIRING."

"Now here's Sheogorath with some questions."

**Do you have any idea where you are? Where you truly are?  
Oh, CHEESE!  
*Yawn* Oh! Pardon me! Where you saying somethin?  
You know, I was there for that whole sorted affair. Marvelous time!  
Butterflies, Blood, A fox, A severed head, ho ho ho!  
Now you, you can call me Ann Marie. But only if your partial to being flayed  
alive and having an angry Immortal Skip rrrrrrrrrrrrrope with your entrails!  
If not, then call me Sheogorath: Daedric Prince of Madness.**

"The lake place. Well, right now I'm in an insane asylum. What. Does this have any relevance to Warriors at all?" Jayfeather looked at the paper. "This one is from Leopardfire97."

**Wait, who did I reference? Anywho,  
Only one question this time: JJayfeather: on a scale from 1 to 10, how much  
does this irk you?  
TThanks for responding!**

"Numbers can't describe it."

"YAY OKAY END OF CHAPTER THING! NOW HERE'S A WORD FROM CHUCK NORRIS!"

"…"


End file.
